A one in six chance of Down's Syndrome

[wozzasmum]

Hi girls,

I had my nuchal scan today and we've been given a one in six chance of our baby having Down's. We've opted to have the CVS which we're having tomorrow. Both of us have always felt quite strongly that in this situation we couldn't abort, however it's hard to really know what you'd do until you're in that position.

We have a son who is nearly 3, I wonder what kind of impact, if any, a brother or sister with Down's would have on him, and I can't help thinking about quality of life, although everything I read on the internet leads me to believe I should worry there.

I guess what I'm hoping for by posting is if anyone has any real life experience of bringing up a baby with Down's? And the effect on siblings? I may not even be posting in the right place, in which case I'd be grateful if someone could point me in the right direction.

Thanks in advance

 

[Kittykins]

Sorry you're being faced with such difficult decisions. I've hear that the Down's Syndrome Association is very helpful - somewhere on the site they have a helpline number 'for just talking things through' during pregnancy. Think under resources or something. http://www.downs-syndrome.org.uk/

Someone I know was given a 1 in 2 chance of DS - and the baby was fine. I know it's a high risk, but remember, 1 in 6 still means 5 in 6 chances the baby won't have DS. I don't have personal experience of DS (I'm sure someone who does will be along shortly) but I did used to help out with Mencap events and mostly, other siblings, even whilst very young, seemed very protective of their DS brother or sister - and not at all disadvantaged themselves, from what I saw.

 

[Kittykins]

p.s. 'Ask a Mum' might be a better place for answers since more women will see it there.

 

[feenix]

?

 

[babyblonde]

Again - am not a person who has brought up a baby with Down's but I have worked with lots of young people and adults with Down's and all of them have had excellent quality of life.

All the families I came across seemed to be very well adjusted and loved their son/daughter/brother/sister to bits.

Hope that helps?

 

[KikoDinoGirl]

Hi girls,

I had my nuchal scan today and we've been given a one in six chance of our baby having Down's. We've opted to have the CVS which we're having tomorrow. Both of us have always felt quite strongly that in this situation we couldn't abort, however it's hard to really know what you'd do until you're in that position.

We have a son who is nearly 3, I wonder what kind of impact, if any, a brother or sister with Down's would have on him, and I can't help thinking about quality of life, although everything I read on the internet leads me to believe I should worry there.

I guess what I'm hoping for by posting is if anyone has any real life experience of bringing up a baby with Down's? And the effect on siblings? I may not even be posting in the right place, in which case I'd be grateful if someone could point me in the right direction.

Thanks in advance

Hiya I have not had direct experience of bringing up a baby with Down's Syndrome, but have had personal experience of being friends with someone who has Down's Syndrome. Matt is nearing 40 and the brother of my ex-boyfriend. Matt was the couple's first child. Matt has his own place, loves going to drama classes and art classes and works in a garden nursery as a waiter in the cafe (especially for people with learning difficulties). He does unfortunately like Steps. He also likes the direct Martin Scorsece and can recongnise some words and write others. In terms of the effects on siblings, well 30 years ago you were likely to be mocked at school if your brother had Down's Syndrome, and that was indeed the case. But the siblings were passionate about making sure their brother wasn't treated in this way. My friend has 2 brothers and 2 sisters, so forms a family of 5. Amusingly this fella was the first one to move out of home, get married and then get a divorce!

Schools have also changed, the inclusive education agenda has meant that young people with Down's Syndrome are now educated with other pupils. It's not so unusual anymore. I remember my little brother telling me about his friend 'Thomas' who he realised has learning difficulties and described the facial features but that was more out of curiousity.

I suppose what I am saying is that everyone is different, and yes someone with Down's Syndrome might have learning difficulties, but they can still have an enriching life depending on their individual circumstances.

I wonder if you would consider contacting a Down's Syndrome Trust?

Also as already said you have a 5 out of 6 chance of your baby not having Down's Syndrome.

I hope your test goes well and glad that you are talking over your feelings on the forum xxx

 

[wozzasmum]

Thanks to you all for your replies It's really helpful to hear your experiences as I don't know anyone directly who has DS. I'm now wavering over even having the test although hubby is keen to, in order for us to get prepared, which to be fair is probably sensible. We've decided that termination isn't an option for us though and I feel lighter that at least one decision has been made. .

Thanks again for all your messages xx

 

[KikoDinoGirl]

perhaps you and hubby can talk over the risks associated with the test together? Whatever you decide the decision will be right for you and your circumstances and only you both can make that decision.