A Morbid Question..but really playing on my mind! Normal?

[Julia]

Hi Mums,

I gave birth to my second child 11 weeks ago. Everything was fine with the birth and I just had the usual post baby blues - up and down from day to day.

However.....I can't stop thinking and worrying about either myself dying OR my mum dying. I also worry about something terrible happening to my children. I think about it mainly in the evening and even bring myself to tears over it....

My mum has had irritable bowel syndrome for 10 years and it can flair up really badly on occasions.....I am convinced she has got cancer and is going to die! She won't go for any tests (she did have them years ago and they just confirmed it was IBS). This is really upsetting me. I just worry about what I am going to do without her (we are really close and always have been).

I also worry about myself dying and having to leave my kids to be brought up by someone else. I worry about not seeing them again.........

I know it is a very morbid post but just needed to ask if anyone else worries about these things? Sorry to upset anyone! Everything else in my life is fine and I only think about this in the evenings. The unfortunate situation of Jade Goody has also added to my worry....

Julia xxx

 

[NickyB]

I went through this phase, and I'm sure it is a phase, probably caused mostly by hormones. I remember having nightmares and horrible waking thoughts where either I, my DH or Lucy was dying, or killed, or something. I had horrible thoughts that someone would shoot me when wearing Lucy in the mei tai. It gets me all upset now thinking about it, but you have to not dwell on these thoughts, and it gets better!

 

[Julia]

Thanks, NickyB,

I know that it is completely morbid and horrible to think of these things but I just can't help it. It has reassured me that you have also been through this weird phase (although obviously awful for you also).

I am not having dreams, thank goodness - just thinking "what if.........."

My mum and dad love my children sooooo much I think that I just want them to see them growing up and really worry that they won't. I also want my mum and dad with me forever...........here I go again!

Thanks for your reply - you are right - it should pass with time. Everything is so perfect and I worry about something changing that!

Julia xxx

 

[keelie_b]

yea i also had/have this.
its not as bad now but i had these really strong visions of either me or my beloved LO suffering or dying. it was painfull even typing that. they're really graphic as well and i get really distressed and upset.

it is easing off now so hopefully the same will happen for u soon. i do believe its a phase triggered by hormones and feeling vulnerable because of the indescribable love you feel for your LO and mum.
its not nice

 

[lea m]

I think its due to new baby anxiety! I had it! (I still have it lol but thats because I do suffer anxiety and need pills lol)

 

[*Rainbow*]

Deleted

 

[millylillyrose]

i had simular feelings when my LO was born. Up untill about 3 months and it has got a little better.
I was obsessed that if i was not physically the one holding LO that she was not safe. i couldnt bare anyone to take her off anywhere or walk around with her without me thinking they would probably drop her.

I think they are pretty normal feelings, and though they ease a little, never completely go away.

All i can advise that helped me is to try and get plenty of rest. sleep when your baby sleeps. Its always worse in the evening as your more tired. I used to DREAD evening times cuz i knew i got all sad and a little paranoid.

 

[MissE]

I'm exactly the same at the moment! I just keep thinking I have cancer and I have to leave my beautiful baby and she won't remember me and someone else is going to raise her with OH, she'll never see my side of the family (they dont live here and dont have a common language with OH) etc. I don't even feel so sad about the though of death itself,just the fact that I'd have to leave her and wont be in control of what happens to her and cant see her grow and she wont have any memory of me...=o( That's why I have desided I'm going to have to take extra care of my health, loose the excess weight and have all the check ups done!! I hope after the results of the smear (assuming they are good..) these feelings will fade a bit at least. I feel silly crying and worrying about something that hasnt even happened..!
I hope u'll manage to get rid of your worries soon!

 

[trixipaws]

looking back, i think i did go a bit mental after my baby was born! i wasnt depressed or anything, but maybe borderline psychotic i dont know! i was just SO paranoid about EVERYTHING, i panicked about turning my back on my baby even when i knew she was safe i would think stupid thoughts like what if the ceiling falls on her head or something- seriously! and also i had unwanted disturbing thoughts like me or my loved ones dying. this wasnt all the time, but quite regular. a few times a week or more. idk if it is normal but ur def not alone! x

 

[Chrissy1]

This was something that I never really bothered about before but since Poppy has been born I'm really worried about something happening to me. I hate going out in the car in case I have a crash or someting. I just really worry about her growing up without her mummy, I often bring myself to tears thinking about it. The other day I asked my mum if she would take care of her if something ever happened to me and her dad.

I think it's a normal protective instinct that all mummy's get and just means we love our little babies more than anything else in the world....

 

[glittergirl]

I have been reduced to tears lately over this very reason.

I keep thinking that what if there is something wrong with me and i dont get to see my baby boy grow up
I went for my smear test the other day and i'm so scared the results are going to come back saying something is wrong!!

I can see why this happens as we all have this overwhelming love for our babies and just want to protect them forever.

xxxx

 

[NIE]

I went through this as well babes. I have really bad IBS and I used to worry that something was seriously wrong, so I know what you mean about your mum.

The good news is that it passed. I still worry about most things but that's what mums do.

 

[Julia]

Thanks for all your supportive replies! Some days I am fine and others I am not...will put it down to hormones. I don't think I will ever stop worrying about my parents or my children - I suppose that's human nature when you love and adore your family.

When I think of some people, I am very lucky to have the family that I do, so I should make the most of it!

Julia xxx

 

[nori]

I always worry about what will happen if my crohns flares up and how will i look after Ollie etc.. i think thats pretty normal though. The Jade Goody thing effected me abit aswell..I think its a natural mum feeling.

If it continues Julia then speak to your doc to see if you can maybe talk to someone about it. Im sure its probably just a phase after the baby though. Ive realised having a baby makes you extremely emotional.

PM me anytime,

Claire x