A HUGE dilema

[Flossy82]

Can you please advice me on this one ladies im getting married in june on the 21st but i have one big problem my mums away in ireland and wont be there and there is this big argument happening atm between people over it they rekon i booked this date deliberately knowing they were away etc etc and its the o/h's family infuensing (sp) us over this which isnt true weve already booked the reception and the registry office and paod the appropriate money to both and now they want me to change the date for when they are here if i dont my mum will cutt all ties with me and the kids because if this. And i really want her there more than anything and for the best i honestly dont know what to do its upsetting me that things will or may even come to this

 

[Strangeness]

I would tell them it's your day, so you're doing it your way! How selfish of them to say they will cut ties if they don't get to be there. At the end of the day it's about you and your oh not them. Can your mum not cancel ireland if she is that desperate to be there?

 

[lozzi]

its quite simple...



this is YOUR big day... not ur mums, or ur OH's parents.



YOUR BIG DAY




how dare your mum say she wont speak to you and her grand kids...







if i told my mum my wedding was on the moon at 3am, im sure she'd bend over backwards to ENSURE she was there...


your mum is compltely in the wrong for sayin what she has said...


dont change the date.


the date you have set is the date YOU wanted....

 

[Happybunny]

I would have a long talk with your mum and let her know you are not being mean or spiteful. Tell your mum that she has to come and that it is really important to you, you didn't intentionally book things for when she was away.

Either she cancels her trip (is it a holiday or something?) Or she can get a cheap flight over for the weekend. If she books now she should get a good rate.

Hope it gets sorted.

 

[Jade&Evie]

It's your day and they are guests. My mum wouldn't miss my wedding for the world- she is on holiday at the moment for a fortnight and I had to practically beg her to go because she didn't even want to RISK not being here when the baby is born I told her I think I will probably be in labour for longer than the 9 hours it would take her to get home from Italy so she might as well go!

If they want to be there then they will have to cancel anything else they have on- I reckon they are just throwing their toys out of the pram hoping you'll bend over backwards for them and they don't have to make the effort.

 

[Flossy82]

Its a holiday to ireland they are going for 6 weeks touring over there (her o/h's grown up kids are out there). I said about chepas flights over here for the weekend but i got no reply to that wont they wont change their dates for anything told me it would cost them too much if they ahd to do that yet it doesnt matter about the money we have paid out for so far

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

AH hunny thats not fair
your Mum is being unreasonable
how can an holiday she can take at any time have more importance then her Daughters Wedding?

if she dosnt come then its her loss
dont change the date its the one you wanted

i am so sorry this has happend to you and i hope your Mum resconsiders

i know how much you want her there ts only nautral she's you Mum
My Mam would move heaven and earth to be at my wedding
but its your big special day you enjoy getting married to the man you love
Dont let your Mum spoil your big day

 

[Sherlock]

Its a holiday to ireland they are going for 6 weeks touring over there (her o/h's grown up kids are out there). I said about chepas flights over here for the weekend but i got no reply to that wont they wont change their dates for anything told me it would cost them too much if they ahd to do that yet it doesnt matter about the money we have paid out for so far

I think thats selfish on their part. If they are spending 6 weeks over there taking a weekend break back for your wedding is not a hardship. Flights can be booked now and are really cheap. Its not even a case of changing flights, just getting a couple of cheapie ones for an overnight back for the wedding. You can pick them up for £10-15 each on some airlines. We flew to Edinburgh for £8 each way a couple of years back. And south of France for £15 each way last year.

Don't let them dictate what you should do. Its your day so you go ahead with it as planned

 

[Flossy82]

They wont change when they go and nor will we change the date. I know this will upset her and she will disregard us all but ive been looking too this since we arranged it all many months back. I just wish even if she couldnt make it which they wont that they cant wish us all the best and leave it at that not to be lie they are being

 

[Sherlock]

They wont change when they go and nor will we change the date. I know this will upset her and she will disregard us all but ive been looking too this since we arranged it all many months back. I just wish even if she couldnt make it which they wont that they cant wish us all the best and leave it at that not to be lie they are being

You've been planning this a long time. Its not like the date you've booked is a surprise. Its the date that works for you so stick with it.

I think once things have calmed down she'll hopefully come round. I doubt she wants to cut off all contact and its unfair she make threats like that to get her way. That is bullying and emotional blackmail and you don't have to stand for it. Even if she does not attend the wedding keep things open and don't you be the one to cut off contact etc.

She is a grown woman and your mother. She should be happy to support you on your wedding day. If she does not want to then don't let it get to you too much, as hard as it may be. There will be so many things going on and you'll have a wonderful day regardless. Don't let her spoil it for you.

 

[Flossy82]

Thanks hun

 

[Penstraze]

I got married in March my mum got upset and threatened not to come because we decided to not invite her or dads partners because she had already kicked off saying she wasnt coming if dads wife went so we had decided no partners which she knew about but as wedding was a year away I guess she thought she'd change my mind, when I found out I was pregnant we brought wedding forward and she kicked off when she realised he still wasnt invited said she didn't want to come etc it really upset me especially when I knew my Dad would be there dressed as bugs bunny if thats what I wanted cause all he was interested in is me having an amazing day which is how a parent should be! I told her if she could sacrifice 30 minutes with her bloke to be at her daughters wedding she didnt deserve to be there and there decission was hers I wanted her there but it was up to her, 2 weeks later she asked me if she could please come and apologised!

It is your wedding day and you need to do what you want explain to your Mum that it would mean the world to you to have her there but its booked things are paid for and if she was any kind of a mother she would come back for the weekend to be there if she doesn't it will be her loss the balls in her court (or thats what I would say/did say you could be more diplomatic then that!!) The likely hood is she will come around but I don't see why you should have to change things around when shes not prepared to compromise it sounds like its all about her and what she wants and on your wedding day its about what you want!!!

 

[Babylicious]

how dare she its your day, thats awful it really is

I didn't invite my dad for a similar reason