A Bit Messed Up

[happy-chick]

xxx

 

[claire81]

Jo

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling this way. When you lose someone you tend to throw yourself into doing just one thing and often this thing becomes an obsession. When my sister lost Caitlyn, she threw herself into cleaning and decorating until she fell pregnant with Faye. When she lost Faye she did the exact same, decorating, then in November, she started to go bingo. This has now turned into a major obsession, she is in debt and goes everyday I have now however got her to go to the doctors and be refered to counselling again. Maybe this is an option for you? The EPU sound like a bunch of ar*eholes and people like that shouldn't be allowed to work with people with hormones.
The computer does become an obsession, but you have a loving partner who sounds like he really wants to be there for you. Me and my husband never used to talk but since things have happened in our family i make sure we sit together of a night and talk about anything thats got us down and how i'm coping after all the losses of loved ones last year. And its brought us much closer and i dont rely on msn or email as much to see me through problems anymore.
I hope this in someway helps you to realise what you're feeling is normal and that you will get there in the end xx

 

[Tick-Tock]

I just wanted to send you a !!!!

I wonder whether you are trying to get back to "normal" too quickly and maybe you need to give yourself a bit more time to grieve. It's 10 weeks today since my M/C and I have to say I'm having as many bad days as I did weeks ago..... I think there is far too much pressure to get over it quickly!!

I know what you mean about the EPU seemingly "fobbing you off". I called numerous times about my continued bleeding and they didn't take my name and said "sometimes this happens"!!! Doesn't help when it happens to you though!! I would call them back and insist you see them.... tell them that you are getting depressed about it and need to talk to someone, even exaggerate your symptoms (can't get out of bed etc) and make it seem that you are more depressed than you are. If you make them worry about you then they are more likely to see you (I don't mean to sound flippant about depression but unfortunatley sometimes you have to do things to get noticed!).

Has your bleeding slowed at all? Mine did slow down many times and then start up again. I know your HCG has dropped below detectable recently. I started bleeding again on Monday (i'm taking this as my first post-M/C period asI got my first -ve HPT since the M/C on Tuesday). I am assuming that my body is getting rid of my uterine lining as it doesn't have the hormone signals to keep it anymore..... which I am viewing as a good thing! Could this be whats happening to you too? I've found that if you can put a +ve spin on whats been going on then it's slightly easier to bear....

 

[SarahB]

Honey, the thought of you crying yourself to sleep every night makes me want to cry. I am so so sorry you are feeling like this. You are doing so much good with your project and no doubt will help so many people.
I can't find any words to take away your pain but I am thinking about you.
Take care of yourself and give yourself lots of me time and some pampering

 

[Melly+2]

wish i could help you more but all i can do is send you the biggest hug ever and tell you i love you lots hun youve bcome a close friend of mine and i will always have time for you when you need me

 

[happy-chick]

Thanks girls,

Claire I wouldnt say its an obsession as far as im aware, its just my escape at moment.
Normally me & OH talk all the time about problems we have but at the moment its become to hard for me to think about let alone talk about. Hope ur sis gets things sorted and thanks for ur advice hun. xxx

Tick-Tock (Julie) I think you could be right there as its not really blood like i described to you the other day, fingers crossed im stopping but its been like this for over a week now. xxx

 

[happy-chick]

Sarah & Mel, Thanks so much xxx

 

[MissGobby]

ohhhhh babes i am soooo sorry

you have been soooo strong through this awful time hun but you need to have time to grieve!!!

doing this project is a wonderful thing hun and im sure will help people suffering like you!!

you have been such a great friend to me since we met and i wish i could just wrap my arms around you and give you a big hug and make all your pain disappear - it makes me so said that you are suffering like this hun!!

please remember i am always here if you want to talk - my ears are always open for you babes!!!!

sending you lots of hugs

 

[happy-chick]

ohhhhh babes i am soooo sorry

you have been soooo strong through this awful time hun but you need to have time to grieve!!!

doing this project is a wonderful thing hun and im sure will help people suffering like you!!

you have been such a great friend to me since we met and i wish i could just wrap my arms around you and give you a big hug and make all your pain disappear - it makes me so said that you are suffering like this hun!!

please remember i am always here if you want to talk - my ears are always open for you babes!!!!

sending you lots of hugs

Thank you so much hun, u really are a diamond! xxx

 

[MissGobby]

im not hun - your the real diamond!!

 

[tracey 2]

ah huni

im glad that you realise you need your own special time hun we all do i think at some point but i dont know if you realise just how special you are on this forum and how much we all love you so please do come on here and talk to us and just let your emotions out hun whatever.

The girls have given so much advice on her so there is so much more i can add except you know where i am should you need to talk

 

[Ginnymarie]

hi pet

i here too if you do need to talk, i have thrown myself into booking our hol, my job and moving house, it has been a total distraction for me and helped me move on, life has so much to offer and it does sound as if the bleeding is this reminder all the time, I so hope it stops, I wish somehow you could have closure.

Get yourself some girly dvds, is there anyway you can get to somewhere for a latte...im obsessed with lattes, every problem can be solved with a latte or cup of tea take care and be assured you ahve helped loadsa people and you have been a great friends for me xxx

 

[Happybunny]

Hi Jo,

I am so sorry I have seen this so late. I have only just got in. I am so sad that you are so low, it is completely understandable, it must be so tiring to have go through the bleeding for so long. Loads of hugs for you sweetie.
I know what you mean about the forum...it is a wonderful support, but sometimes I question whether it just keeps me focused on what I should be trying to forget. But like you...I really really value the friends I have made here and their support.
It is good to find projects to distract you...it gives you a focus other than your loss, although your new focus, I suppose, will remind you of your loss, I am sure.
It is great that you and your OH want to spend some more time together. As wonderful and as lovely as we all are , no one can give you as much as love and support as your bloke.
Take as much time as you need to recover...I am sending you loads of love and hugs because you are such a sweet person and a special friend.
Michelle
x

 

[Nic'n'Keeley]

hiya i know we haven't really spoken before but i just wanted to give you these

 

[mummykay]

o Jo, i dont really know what to say but i wanted to give u loads of big hugs
look after urself hun

 

[Alfiesmummy]

Jo your strong babes you can get through this in time, dont beat yourself up about getting upset and grieving you have been through a hard upsetting time and you are grieving the way you should be doing.,
The website you are doing is a fantastic thing babes and i really admire you beyond belief for it
babes you got my msn and ium here night and day whenever you need ok hunny,

 

[happy-chick]

Aww thank you soooooo much guys! It means alot to me that so many of you care it really does!

If your wondering why im still up... cant sleep and sick of lying there trying. I think because I cant be active due to broken foot i'm not burning any energy off and cant sleep... Thats my theory, what ya think?

Do you think anything will ever go right for me? lol
First m/c then I break my foot when I've never broken a bone in my whole life before! someone is really out to get me!!

Please let me be in for some GOOD luck!

 

[fothers]

Just saw this post- sorry you are feeling so down- i hope things settle down soon for you

 

[happy-chick]

I have a scan booked for Monday at 9:15 and i really am dreading it. OH cant get time of work so gotta go on my own again

 

[fynemum]

your not on your own sweetheart, we are all here every step of the way, whispering to you to be strong We will be in that room with you, holding your hand supporting you through.

I can totally understand your original post, I through myself into posts and research when i miscarried, then when i didn't have that I felt i had nothing.

But i believe you bleeding is a constant reminder, and not healthy for you, makes you weak.....then on top your frustrated with this broken foot.....

To be honest it hasn't been anytime at all since your MC and you will have up times and down times, that why some of us post on here, we have friends who really know and understand us....
When i am really down I PM Tracey2...she has been a rock to me....lots of ladies on here have been such a great support...if I cry at night I tell someone who understands my pain...that help the healing....But time is really the only healer....You will never forget but it does get easier..
I have PMed you too....as soon as I saw your first post i had to.

You take good care of yourself sweetheart, your a wonderful Strong lady with a fantastic talent for caring about everyone and everything....now you need to do the same for yourself and your DH Time doll Lv Yvonne xx