50+ having babies

[Ebony_Mommy]

Ebony i love your topics

you make me not want to log off. my fella is going to kill me iv been online since he got in.

u lucky girl..

hes in and ur on here

u shud get busy

 

[Minxy]

menopause is there for a reason

Do you think a 20 something woman who goes through premature menopause should be allowed fertility treatment to help her conceive. Or is she being denied a child 'for a reason?'

Am playing devil's advocate, am really not sure about the age thing myself

minxy i think you're way off point here.
there is a whole worrld of difference between a woman who is unfortunate enough to have an early menopause and a selfish old hag who can't accept growing old. Which i am afraid to say is the way i see it. A woman who has a child aged 50+ will die and leave the child motherless at a young age. you cannot argue with that can you? And thats selfish and not right.

You say there's 'a world of difference' but there's got to be a cut off point if you think it's ok for some and not others? How old CAN you be to have babies? If a 52 year old concieved naturally would we think that was ok?

 

[budge]

menopause is there for a reason

Do you think a 20 something woman who goes through premature menopause should be allowed fertility treatment to help her conceive. Or is she being denied a child 'for a reason?'

Am playing devil's advocate, am really not sure about the age thing myself

minxy i think you're way off point here.
there is a whole worrld of difference between a woman who is unfortunate enough to have an early menopause and a selfish old hag who can't accept growing old. Which i am afraid to say is the way i see it. A woman who has a child aged 50+ will die and leave the child motherless at a young age. you cannot argue with that can you? And thats selfish and not right.

You say there's 'a world of difference' but there's got to be a cut off point if you think it's ok for some and not others? How old CAN you be to have babies? If a 52 year old concieved naturally would we think that was ok?

its very doubtful a 50 year old would conceive naturally.

 

[Minxy]

its very doubtful a 50 year old would conceive naturally.

Furry muff! (fair enough!)

 

[budge]

its very doubtful a 50 year old would conceive naturally.

Furry muff! (fair enough!)

 

[Ebony_Mommy]

i doubt it...

but if she were to conceive at 50 naturally

its not as if she went out and 'buy' it

i will be having sex in my grave....

 

[beanie]

I think the images posted are very provocative, and don't accurately represent a lot of older mothers. That first one isn't of a 50 something woman surely?

I voted not sure The arguement against has to do with mortality and poor health in older mothers I presume. But where do you draw the line? Should we let younger mothers with health conditions that limit their life expectancy to have children? I see my mum with Stanley and she's FAB at child- rearing, she IS an expert I guess

I'm also guessing most 50 something mums concieve with assisted fertility. If it were happening 'naturally' would that be ok? Men can father into their 70's. I just don't know!

I agree. If they are able to have the baby naturally (and some women are in their mid 50s) I have no problem with it. Plus with today's population living longer a lot of their children would probably reach their 30s before they lose their parent.

 

[Jade89]

50 year olds shouldn't do it I couldn't imagine my mum and dad...not that i'd want to but u know what I mean, my mums 45 and my dads 55...it's not right j/k!

 

[beanie]

My mum died at the age of 36 of ovarian cancer. The age she died at points to a possible genetic cause, which I could have. Knowing that I could possibly die at an early age before Seren becomes an adult is a possiblility. Have I been very selfish? Should I not have a child in case I die when they are young? If I was to die at the time my mum did Seren would be 8, I was 14 when I lost my mum.

 

[rach]

hmmm this is a difficult one i think a line should definately be drawn somewhere but its difficult to know where
not sure i really want to say anymore as im sat here arguing with myself about it so i really cant make my mind up xxx

 

[budge]

My mum died at the age of 36 of ovarian cancer. The age she died at points to a possible genetic cause, which I could have. Knowing that I could possibly die at an early age before Seren becomes an adult is a possiblility. Have I been very selfish? Should I not have a child in case I die when they are young? If I was to die at the time my mum did Seren would be 8, I was 14 when I lost my mum.

of course you haven't been selfish beanie.
But i do think these women who conciously go out and get pregnant at non child bearing ages are selfish.

 

[beanie]

I was on about those who can concieve naturally as there are those that do. I don't agree with the IVF route if they can't have children naturally but those who can have children naturally are not being selfish.

 

[budge]

there aren't many women at the ages of 50 + who want children.

 

[Ebony_Mommy]

I was on about those who can concieve naturally as there are those that do. I don't agree with the IVF route if they can't have children naturally but those who can have children naturally are not being selfish.

its very unlikely a 50+ woman can conceive naturally.

 

[budge]

ill be frank here. Apologies to all those women reading this who are 35+ and having a baby or just had a baby or still wanting a baby.

My mother was 35 when she had me. i was an ''accident'. All through my school days i was taunted by other children for having an old mum. I used to get 'friends' telling me that my mum will die before their mum and that my mum was grey haired and old fashioned (which loooking back on she wasn't ).
I got over this and plodded on. I was best friends with my mum. But she had me at a time when her body clock was nearing menopause and as a result she didn't cope with me well. She suffered hot flushes and mood swings and i was often walking on egg shells with her. I do beleive looking back i suffered as a result of having a more mature mum.

Now here we are. Im 32 and my mum is nearly 70. I have a young family and becasue my mum is of advanced years i miss out on help i so desperately need right now coz she is too old to give it me and i would never expect it from her.
My brothers and sisters whom my mother had when she was young benefited from my mums youth when they had their kids who are all grown up now. I feel

That is why i feel so strongly that if a woman can she should have children young. Ifi could wish anything it would be to make my mum younger and more able to baby shop till she drops with me

I realise that there are circumstances where this is not possible though and i don't mean to offend anyone.

But i just had to share this with you.

 

[Ebony_Mommy]

aaawww budgey.... kids are sooooo cruel..

 

[budge]

yes they are. i know 35 is not so old to have a baby now but back then it was. and to me my mum seemed ancient. And she does now when i look at my friends with their mums. My mum looks like she could be my nana

 

[Minxy]

That is why i feel so strongly that if a woman can she should have children young.

Just can't agree with you here Budge. Depends what you mean by 'can' I COULD have physically had babies at an earlier age but I feel it's only now that I'm emotionally and financially stable enough to offer Stanley the best life possible (I know others are ready younger, but not me!). By your benchmarks I've only got a few uyears to complete my family, better get me skates on!

I'm the first of my friends to start a family, and we even refer to our 30's as the 'baby years'. Women are now encouraged to build careers or study for longer (well into their 20's) by society and government. Where can everyone find time to have these babies?

 

[Minxy]

All through my school days i was taunted by other children for having an old mum. I used to get 'friends' telling me that my mum will die before their mum and that my mum was grey haired and old fashioned (which loooking back on she wasn't ).

Shouldn;t be a problem, I don't look a DAY over 19!

Seriously, I reckon a lot of Stanley's friends will have mum's the same age or older than me, older mum's are more common than when you were a lass Budge. It's the unusual that gets teased about

 

[budge]

That is why i feel so strongly that if a woman can she should have children young.

Just can't agree with you here Budge. Depends what you mean by 'can' I COULD have physically had babies at an earlier age but I feel it's only now that I'm emotionally and financially stable enough to offer Stanley the best life possible (I know others are ready younger, but not me!). By your benchmarks I've only got a few uyears to complete my family, better get me skates on!

I'm the first of my friends to start a family, and we even refer to our 30's as the 'baby years'. Women are now encouraged to build careers or study for longer (well into their 20's) by society and government. Where can everyone find time to have these babies?

im not after any one agreeing with me. Im wasn't writing an argument -
I was just relating my own personal experience.