2nd time round finding out the gender (my man rant)

[xjdx]

Well im pregnant for the 2nd time my partner and i cant decide if we should find out the gender at the 20wk scan, i no its along way of but he is doing my head in!
When i found out i was pg with Taylor i knew instantly i was having a boy so when we found out at the 20 wk scan it wasnt a shock.His argument is, its better to find out so we can be prepared with the right colour clothes etc and that knowing would influence what we bought instead of stick to neutrals. I can understand that!
I do not even have an instinct of what im having this time round, i thinking its very exciting waiting for a surprise!
i just want to know what all you mummys did when you where having your children have you always found out the gender, or have you found out the first time and the second had a surprise?
Did you prefer to know or not?
Thanks

 

[chickadee1976]

I didnt find out with Cameron, because our hospital didnt and still dont offer it.

This time round im bordering in the obsessive about finding out the sex, i dont know if it will ruin the surprise or not, i think im just finding out the surprise earlier, my baby will be enough of a thrill for me,
We are going for a gender scan at 24 weeks so will find out then, the count down is on

 

[beanie]

I didn't find out with either of mine, and won't do with any future pregnancies. I am usually very impatient but I really wanted to wait as I think its the nicest surprise. I prefer babies in white (think it looks cuter) so found it really easy to buy a few white babygros, then when they arrived we were either bought clothes or we went to the shops and bought them, easy enough. Plus it just seemed more personal to us for my partner to be the one to tell me we had a daughter the first time (though I had to remind him, but I will never forget him saying "we have a baby girl", and I was the one to find out with Cally's birth, just blurted out "she's a girl" and burst out crying lol. Plus we had the excitement of guessing and getting people to guess. I found I bonded great withboth my babies in the womb, and can't see how finding out the sex would have made it more real, or made us even closer. I miss those last weeks now, when you start getting excited aboutt he birth and finding out who your baby is.

 

[andreag]

I really can't decide either. I wanted to know with Charlotte but they couldn't tell and I wasn't bothered I didn't know, and towards the end I was glad I had the surprise to look forward to. My sister found out with her second and I think it made the baby much more real to her first, who was three. As C will only be 18 months, I don't think it will make a difference to her. Given that they couldn't tell anyway last time I've decided not to stress about it - we will decide on the day. However, as the one carrying and giving birth, I will make the ultimate decision!

 

[Rachel]

I found out both times and would again with any future pregnancies

I prefered knowing before the birth because I was able to buy blue things for a boy and the second time I was able to get Nathans old clothes down to use again. It also made it easier choosing names because I only had to choose for a boy.

It also made me feel closer to him before he was born, knowing I had a little boy growing inside of me and imagining my little boy growing inside of me

Im also too impatient to wait for the whole pregnancy, 20 weeks is long enough to wait

 

[maybebaby]

I didn't find out last time and don't think I will this time either. Like Beanie said I loved the fact it was my OH who told me the sex, I had no problem bonding with the baby or planning his room/wardrobe. This time it's the same - I've kept all Austin's clothes from last time but if it's a girl we'll just buy some more.

Because I'm due so close to Christmas I am getting one boy and one girl's Christmas outfit though, just in case I give birth on Christmas eve they'll still have something to wear on Christmas day.

 

[LisaJ1986]

I think the only reason i wanted to know with Angel is coz we only have nephews in both sides of the family! I was dying to know if i could finally bring a girl into both families. With any future children i think i'll have a surprise. I think OH didn't want to know with Angel but he knew how much i was dying to know. So he'll be easy either way in future.

 

[mum's the word]

I didn't find out on either of my boys and don't want to find out this time either. I know people who have asked to know the gender purely to buy clothes of a certain colour which isn't a good enough reason for me. After all the hard work during labour it's lovely to have that extra special excitment of looking 'down below' to see what you've produced! It made calls and texts to friends/family a bit more interesting too. Everyone's got different opinions on it, but if the option wasn't there to find out the gender I don't think it'd be a problem waiting til after the birth to buy your blues or pinks. I found clothes wise it stopped me going OTT cos there are only so many white itms you can buy, and visitors always turn up with outfits or store vouchers. I really think it's a matter of how organised (or controlfreaky!) you need to be to keep sane, I knew I was having a baby everyone was going to love and that was enough for me, I will say though, I'm gettting fed up of the 'I bet you want a girl' comments, a healthy baby is all I'll ever hope for.

 

[Jade&Evie]

I found out but next time (if there is one ) I won't!

 

[xkikix]

I found out but next time (if there is one ) I won't!

Exactly what I was gonna say!

Hubby really wanted to find out about Chester, I wasnt too bothered but I really knew I was having a boy. I really want a surprise next time! I want another one now actually. My god.

 

[beanie]

I love you beanie xx

right back atcha

 

[kellysomer]

I found out with Isla as i really badly wanted a girl and wanted to know if she was a boy to get used to the idea.

With Morgan the sonographer showed us by accident. No prizes for guessing it was a boy! We kept it our little secret which was fun and only told people once he had been born as were annoyed at having been told it was a boy.

I love having one of each and don't think it spoilt either of the births in any way, I still took both pink and blue outfits to the hospital incase it was wrong. I felt more bonded with them both times through knowing.

 

[Steelgoddess]

i think either way is gr8 tbh, we found out this time as it was just so dead exciting not to and i like to know everything, tehe.

What does an annoy me though is when ppl cast judgement on those that do find out like its such an awful thing that was the only thing that upset me when I found out but now i know im having a diddy boy im dead excited!!!!

x

 

[Mildly]

I think it's a very personal thing for a couple to decide. We found out and I am really glad that we did. I know some people feel that it spoils the surprise but then it isn't like you aren't ever going to find out I've never heard of anyone, regardless of whether they found out or not, regret their decision which I think is testament to the fact that most people have strong feelings on the matter either way

The only thing we have done is not told anyone else i.e. family and friends because we wanted to keep it between ourselves. I've been surprised by the reactions that we have got. Having told people that we were unable to find out, most people have said - well a surprise is better! The odd thing is that the people that have said that are people that have never found out the sex before birth of their own children

 

[budge]

I didn't find out with either of mine, and won't do with any future pregnancies. I am usually very impatient but I really wanted to wait as I think its the nicest surprise. I prefer babies in white (think it looks cuter) so found it really easy to buy a few white babygros, then when they arrived we were either bought clothes or we went to the shops and bought them, easy enough. Plus it just seemed more personal to us for my partner to be the one to tell me we had a daughter the first time (though I had to remind him, but I will never forget him saying "we have a baby girl", and I was the one to find out with Cally's birth, just blurted out "she's a girl" and burst out crying lol. Plus we had the excitement of guessing and getting people to guess. I found I bonded great withboth my babies in the womb, and can't see how finding out the sex would have made it more real, or made us even closer. I miss those last weeks now, when you start getting excited aboutt he birth and finding out who your baby is.

same

 

[hennaly]

Its a very hard one if you want to know and OH doesnt (or vice versa), i want to know this time but hubby doesnt so i said he can leave the room then but i know he will find out at some point if i slip up.

 

[dannii87]

I found out for a few reasons;

A) I'm far too impatient!

B) I'm a single parent and worked really hard to buy things and needed to buy it all myself so wanted to know so I could start ASAP seeing as it was only my income buying it all & I didn't want a mad rush once she's born trying to get pink/blue stuff.

C) I went through a bit of a wierd stage at about 16 weeks where I was unsure about everything that had happened and it hit me that I was pregnant and felt a bit disconnected with her so wanted to know the sex to try and bond, immediately I did and I never refer to her as LO or bubs or anything, she's a person to me now Evie!

D) I'm really funny with choices of clothes! I don't like huge bows or really frilly dresses or anything so wanted to buy it all myself so people didn't waste their money. Now I just tell them she has enough clothes and really doesn't need any more!

E) I hoped (about 10 weeks into the pregnancy) that her Dad might be swayed to get back in touch if he knew the sex and could picture his son/daughter...

If there is a next time (hopefully) I'd find out again if possible I don't regret it at all but really admire those who stay team green x

 

[Bexie]

I didn't find out the first time I was pregnant and as I was getting closer and closer to my due date I was so desperate to know the sex, but I am so glad I waited as it was the best surprise. We're going to wait again this time round.

I always think it's like knowing what your christmas present is before you upwrap it, it kind of looses some of the excitment. Although I'm sure people who find out say it adds to the excitment.

 

[jools221181]

We found out with Brody - to be honest I kind of knew anyway and couldn't miss it on the scan

I was all set on finding out this time too but after reading this I can't make my mind up if I want to or not Kev really wants to find out so we probably will as I'm so impatient too But I also think it would be nice to wait Ooooh I don't know Plenty of time to decide yet!

 

[Tina & Gabs]

We didn't find out with Gabs but we are going to this time.

We thought it would be nice to experience a pregnancy knowing and not knowing and I think because we have Gabs; it'll be nice to say to her "your little brother" or "your little sister"

It's definitely a personal choice though