2nd time mums and labour plans...

[Shinymac]

I'm starting to get worried now. Although I'm only 25 weeks, it's playing on my mind, and I'm so worried about what I'm going to do with my kids when the big "L" comes!

We moved away from family about 2 years ago, and although they're only 2 hours away, I'm so scared we are not going to have something in place for when LO decides to pop along.

One idea was to get the MIL over the minute things kick off, and she's really good like that and has even saved a weeks holiday to take at the drop of a hat should we need her. However, I don't exactly relish the thought of this. As much as I love her, she drives me mad, and we would come back from hospital, and I just know she wouldn't just go home and leave us to it. She'd stay, possibly for the whole week, depending on how things all go, and I really wouldn't want that to happen!
If this happened, I know the minute the baby cries in the middle of the night, she'll be in our room asking if we need a hand with anything, and it will drive me insane, as well as drive my OH insane, and I really don't think this is the best solution.

I do have a very good friend who lives relatively nearby, who I've known since I was a kid, and who I trust. But, I can't bring myself to ask her to be on standby and feel cheeky asking if there's any chance she might be able to help us out with the kids when labour comes!

Basically, I am hoping and praying that I'll drop the kids off at school, suddenly go into labour, get whipped into hospital, and be home before afterschool club finishes at 5.30pm. If only it were that easy!

What are your plans for your kids when labour comes?

 

[Anna23]

my mum is having my 2. I'd be inclined to talk to mil before it happens say once your out of hospital you'll need to get into a routeen with baby and kids on your own so if she doesn't mind once your home could she go home for the evenings/ nights and mabe come for the day that way she won't anoy you at night and you have a break from her, it sounds to me like she very much want's to be involved and help you out and thinks she is doing you a favour and she may not realise it won't be helping if you know what i mean

 

[valentine]

Hi Shinymac,

I am having a home birth so have to come up with a few trusted people 'on call' to take DD if it happens during the day (I'm hoping I'll labour overnight like last time, she sleeps like a log so would just wake up and have a new baby brother or sister!).

I have about 4 people on my list and just have to double check with them when they are working busy/round my 4 week home birth window (38-42 weeks) so OH knows who is best to call when I go into labour.

I don't think its cheeky to ask someone to be on call, I'd be delighted to do it for someone else. I TOTALLY understand what you mean about the MIL, its so so important to me to have our first day or so just the four of us to get used to our new family and even when family do visit, they won't be getting an overnight invite, this would drive me up the wall and totally SPOIL such a special time for me.

Valentine Xxx

 

[vickie]

By the time i go into labour i will be living miles from family too.Luckily i will have then 15 yr old daughter looking after my 2 year old until another family member can get to the house.Again like you im hoping its gonna be like my last labour...in and out and back home within 6 hours lol.

 

[Shinymac]

Thanks for this guys.
Yeah, it's not like I'm ungrateful for the MIL's offer of help, god knows she has helped us with my girls loads in the past, but like Valentine said, it's such an important time for us to get settled with our new addition into the family, that I just didn't really want anyone else there, especially straight away.
It would be very hard for her to accept it if I warned her we wouldn't want her there, and it would be very difficult for me to actually say that out loud to her face I think..... She's a very strong character!
I think I may ask my friend if I pluck up the courage! We'll see. Oh well, could be a long way off yet!
I'm now hoping for a weekend birth too. Oh if only we could pick and choose!

I also considered a home birth, but my OH won't entertain that idea, and I'm not sure I'm 100% comfortable with it myself...

It's good to hear that it can happen and you can be all over and done with within 6 hours! Wishful thinking though... although I popped twins out in 8, so you never know!

 

[Manda&Thomas]

i like valintine am having another home-birth
i have my best mate who lives across the road on standby as she doesnt work and only has a 5 year old daughter she is never far away
even if i go into labour at night she is having Thomas for me just incase i have to go to hospital
xx

 

[krissie23]

Hi Shinymac

I have the same problem as you and I'm wondering what to do! My MIL doesn't work and doesn't really have any hobbies, etc., so she has a lot of spare time... I know for a fact if she were to look after Amber when I went into labour, I would not be able to get rid of her! She would definetly stay for at least a week, and like your MIL, she is a very strong character & I seriously doubt she would take no for an answer. When my SIL had her son a year ago, MIL stayed at theirs for two weeks, they already had three kids, but she was quite happy to sleep on the sofa, so I know she would do that here too!

I could ask my Mum, but I actually want her to be there while I'm in labour! She was there with my OH last time and was fantastic. Tbh though I think I'm going to have to have her on standby to look after my DD as I would rather have that, than have MIL doing it and then spoiling our time together as a new family. The only other alternative I've got is my Sister, but she's at Uni in London. She does drive, so really it would just depend on how quickly she could get back here when I need to go into hospital... anything's better than MIL though!

 

[SoonToBeMrs]

Here's an idea.. sounds to me like MIL is the best option (unless you have a friend who can look after LO?).. get her to come over and look after LO as soon as thngs start happening.. you and OH go into hospital.. now obviously your OH will be calling your MIL to let her know how things are going etc.. get your OH to tell her what you both want.. maybe for your OH to bring them both up to the hospital to meet the new baby and then drop MIL home afterwards.. your OH can take over with LO from there until you are out of hospital. That way, MIL has had the chance to see baby, but she is also shown that she cant muscle in and over-stay.. arrange a specific date and time for her to come over when you have gone home so she doesnt just come round when she isnt welcome.

I hope this helps.

Put your foot down and get OH to do the same.. it's not fair on you or new baby if people dont respect you and what you want. You are most important in this afterall!

 

[Sweetpea134]

as we live in folkestone and my mum is in london and DH mum is in brighton im so oping 1 of them can get here a wek before and after just incase theres that chance i go into labour during the night ..........If its during the day wont be that bad as i have friends who say they will take Luca for me
But were see what happens so im hoping my plans work lets hope bubs in my belly will work with me on this one