12 Months or More?

[xXxBonnyxXx]

Hi All,

After trying to take a break for a few months to see if the relaxed approach would work I find myself back here.

I am now in my 2ww on my 12th Cycle.

I am finding it harder and harder to deal with AF turning up each month. I seem to be getting depressed when AF is here and then get a bit happier when she's packed her bags and buggered off.

I am being snappy with the people closest to me and I can't seem to stop - my work is suffering and I have lost weight.

I am going to book an appointment with the doctor if AF shows up next week but I'm not sure that it will give me any peace of mind because if we do need medical help to get PG we will have to pay for it ourselves and we really aren't in the position to be able to do that.

How do you cope when you've been TTC for a year with out any luck?

I am looking into alternative therapies and am going back to Accupuncture

My cycles are now a regular 29 days

Anyone else in the same situation? If so what are you doing or trying to take your mind off of being over 12 months TTC?

 

[Vickyxx]

Hey hun

I am only at the 8 month marker but like you struggle to remain upbeat and positive about it all.

I havent looked in to alternative therapies decided to go straight to the doc's instead.

I am not getting periods, my last one was 4 months ago, so I cant even give myself a reassuring hug that next month will be the month. I think I could handle it better if things worked the way they should.

I am finding myself getting more sad about it and that makes it even harder.

I just keep telling myself that we will get there we may just need a bit of help along the way, but it will be so worth it in the end x

 

[Binzy]

Bonny! There you are. Glad to see you back again. I'm on my 13th cycle and was nodding my head at everything you wrote, it's tough being on the shelf still isn't it. We went to our doctors a few months and my hubby went and did a sperm test which came back fine so he said we just have to wait and that he won't do any further tests till we've been trying for 2 years! I wish I knew how you are supposed to keep calm and not think about it, I think of nothing else.
Sorry I don't have any words of wisdom but I'm always here if you need to vent. Take care xx

 

[Esperanza84]

I'm in my 11th cycle and have regular 28 days cycles. It's so hard! If I were you, I would have gone to the doctor anyway, to see if he can find out what the problem might be. I have a doctors apointment tomorrow and I'm really looking forward to take this step and "dive in" to the problem. It is better to know, than not to know I think!

If we need help, we get 3 IVF's for free, but have to pay for the medicine and than we're on our own (I live in Norway).

What I have done to cope with this is:

- I have made a saving plan - each month I put aside some money that I will use for IVF if we need more tries than the three we get or to spend on adoption.
- Looked into the possibility to adopt children - there are thousands of children in the world that could really need a good home, and I know we could provide someone with that.
- Work out till I get the feeling I'm going to die - I'm not kidding - if you train really hard it's really good for your mental health.

The thought of not getting children with my husband hurts, but the most important thing is that we have eachother! He is my everything and makes me so happy and he is so patient with me! I don't know what I would have done without him. So if we can't have children of our own, we will just have to modify our view on life...we will definently do a course to get licenced parachute jumpers and travel around the WHOLE world! And than maybe we will adopt or something.

Don't know if this was any help, but that's my way of coping with it.

I'm sure your turn will come!!!! Lots of luck to you!!! Crossing my fingers for you and sending you positive waves!!

xxx

 

[Esperanza84]

I'm in my 11th cycle and have regular 28 days cycles. It's so hard! If I were you, I would have gone to the doctor anyway, to see if he can find out what the problem might be. I have a doctors apointment tomorrow and I'm really looking forward to take this step and "dive in" to the problem. It is better to know, than not to know I think!

If we need help, we get 3 IVF's for free, but have to pay for the medicine and than we're on our own (I live in Norway).

What I have done to cope with this is:

- I have made a saving plan - each month I put aside some money that I will use for IVF if we need more tries than the three we get or to spend on adoption.
- Looked into the possibility to adopt children - there are thousands of children in the world that could really need a good home, and I know we could provide someone with that.
- Work out till I get the feeling I'm going to die - I'm not kidding - if you train really hard it's really good for your mental health.

The thought of not getting children with my husband hurts, but the most important thing is that we have eachother! He is my everything and makes me so happy and he is so patient with me! I don't know what I would have done without him. So if we can't have children of our own, we will just have to modify our view on life...we will definently do a course to get licenced parachute jumpers and travel around the WHOLE world! And than maybe we will adopt or something.

Don't know if this was any help, but that's my way of coping with it.

I'm sure your turn will come!!!! Lots of luck to you!!! Crossing my fingers for you and sending you positive waves!!

xxx

Exept from this, I try to live as normal as possible! I drink wine, bake, knit and enjoy life. Try to have many things to do as possible to take my mind of it!

 

[xXxBonnyxXx]

Thanks Girls!

As hubby already has 3 children I am sure it is me that has the problem. I am definately going to see the doctor if AF shows up.

I'm glad in a very selfish way that hubby doesn't have anything to do with his oldest daughter - she is 17 and 5 months pregnant. I found it very hard to cope with finding out she is pg. I cried for what felt forever when I found out the news via someone on Facebook.
She has been in touch with him about wanting to have him in her life again but he said no way, not after all the heartache and misery she has put us through. In my eyes she is not mentally stable enough to have a child.
Also she is in daily contact with a peadophile that has previously been convicted. I'm sure that social services would have something to say about that should they find out.

I try to keep myself as busy as I can, work takes up alot of my time and I have finally decided that I need to pull my finger out and get the rest of the house decorated.

I am also planning to sort out some sort of savings plan for IVF should we need to go down that route.

Its reassuring to know I'm not the only one left on the shelf though!

 

[Esperanza84]

You hang in there Bonny! I went to the doctor today, and he said that we really should wait 2 years before doing anything else, but he gave me a referral to a specialist anyway...so I'm glad and I'm sure that they find out that something is wrong with me, it's probably fixable...most things are these days!

Wish you all the best! And lets stay in touch!

xxx

 

[eldraW]

Hey there.
We have been ttc for just over a year now, i went to doctors a couple of month back and they said that they wouldnt do anything for me until i had been ttc for a year or more so i will be heading back there very very soon.
I know exactly how you feel as many of us feel the same, As hard as it is we all just have to look on the positive side and yeah i know i hate hearing that too. I took a couple of weeks away from the forum over christmas as things were starting to get on top of me so i thought that the best option was to take a little step back.
I am now using a cbfm for the first time this cycle and im hoping this does the trick.
This isnt much advise for you but didnt want to read and run and i wanted to wish you all the luck in the world and im hoping you get your bfp very very soon. Amy xx

 

[maybe baby]

Hi Bonny,

Welcome back!

I've been trying 7-8 months now with 1 early M/C and I've already had some tests done.

You could start the ball rolling with your docs now even if it's only for peace of mind and to help make things less stressful.

I've had most things now, an ultrasound scan, CD1 blood tests to check thyroid and FSH, CD 21 blood tests that check progesterone- to confirm OV.

As I have already had all the required tests done the Doc said today that they would test Hubbys semen incase we get to the 12 month mark and we still aren't preggers, we would be ready to get referred then.

If you need any advice give me a shout.

xx

 

[Naomi D]

Aw Bonny, I'm glad you're back!

I am soon starting our 8th attempt, and it does get so disheartening! I had an early mc like maybe, and it is so hard also when you see so many other women getting pregeers, my step-sis just gave birth to a gorgeous little girl!

I don't really know what I do...I have a little cry when af shows up, and feel down for a few days, and then I count myself lucky that I'm with my OH and we have the chance to try again. So many women out there want a child and aren't in the posisiton to try....

Try and keep your chin up honey, and remember - we will all have our day!