Worried i may have pre natal depression

[emmie]

I dont know weather i am just worried in general or if i have pre natal depression.

I keep worrying about dying during the birth, also worrying about if i am going to be able to breastfeed ok, i am worrying about being in hospital and hubby having to go home, i am worrying about babys health and weight (i am a big girl and am measuring 2.5cm bigger than i should.), i am worrying about having a c section as baby is still breech.

Non baby related stress issues

My sister has just decided to be a bitch and make me feel like shit, I havent spoke to my mum for ages as she doesnt seem bothered when i do ring her its always about my sister or shes talking to my sis who is in the same room with her instead of me on the phone 130 miles away. I have just had to find £325 to repair my car which i really dont have. Worried about how we are going to manage moneywise when i have my first maternity pay in december. and the list goes on.

I have a midwife apt mon so hopefully she will tell me baby is head down and i am not big for dates anymore, wishfull thinking i know but i need some positivity.

 

[Charmed]

Awwww Emmie, I just wanted to give you some big .

Make sure you tell your midwife how your feeling on Monday at your appointment. I have to admit I have been worrying over similar things but maybe it running a bit deeper with you particularly if your not getting any support from your Mum or sister. Take care..

 

[andreag]

It is completely natural to be worried, especially as you get closer and closer to the birth - it wouldn't be natural if you didn't.

With respect to the breech, they don't give it a thought until you are 36 weeks, so there is plenty of time to turn. I was looking into it yesterday as I am breech as there are some positions you can try to try and get the baby to move. They also suggested playing music with the speakers on your lap, which might encourage the baby to move. If the baby is still breech ask your midwife for some tips/positions to encourage movement. I heard yesterday of someone where the baby turned down during labour, so its never too late!

Breastfeeding can be a challenge, but it isn't always. Provided you have support from your OH and some professionals if you need it, you will be able to breastfeed.

even if you do end up having a c-section, its not the end of the world. I was dreading the idea too, but aftre reading up a bit about it, it doesn't seem so terrifying. I also hated the idea of hubby having to go home, but they did give us loads of time together after the birth, and the visiting time for fathers in most hospitals is very progressive - I think it was 12-8pm.

don't waste any time worrying about your sister and your Mum. You have your own family and if they can't be bothered, its their loss. I know it sounds harsh, but some people do try and make things difficult through jealously or whatever, and its really not worth getting upset about. You are going to have a beautiful baby boy and they will carry on being miserable if thats their way - nothing you can do to change it.

We saved to cover the drop in pay when I went on maternity leave, but found that we didn't need it - we just spent less than I thought we would. We used reuasble nappies, and I was breastfeeding, so that saved alot of money. Because we had more time, we could get food more cheaply - getting meat from a local farm etc. You will also get tax credits and family allowance to top up your income.

I hope you get some good news from your MW, but try and focus on the fact that you have a healthy baby to join you for Christmas - it is the most magical thing in the world.

 

[ninjawomble]

Hun speak to your MW when you see her
You definatley sound stressed out, and discussing things with her may help.
Im worrying bout so much right now so I understand, Im just convinced that this is too good to be true , but after speaking to friends I know every single one of them thought same thing when it was them.
We are all here for you to talk to, or just if you need to rant

 

[sparky]

oo hon you poor thing, forewarned is forearmed i say, find out about things like visiting hours, look into different proceedures etc and you'll have the knowledge..you might even be suprised..the visiting hours in my mat ward for daddies was 9.00am to 10.pm by which time you are ready for them to leave.

If you are keen to breastfeed, let them know and they will help you out on the ward, also read all the threads on here about bfing, you'll get better advice on here, but whatever you do dont worry if you cant, there are loads of bottlefeeding mummies on here, happy with their choice and happy with their babies!

re money, you'll find you spend less as you go out more, you get given tonnes of things for LO too, child benefit which everyone gets easily covers nappies, wipes and even formula in my experiance!

big and i look forward to seeing the pics of your LO soon!

 

[nori]

Hiya hun,

I think the other ladies have given you some good advice.. the thoughts and worries you are experiencing are completely natural at a time like this. I think we can all relate to alot of them.

You need to sit down and put things into perspective as many of the problems you mention can be overcome. I think we all worry about the birth to a certain extent and as someone else said even if you do have to have a c section its not the end of the world. people have them everyday (you may even save your pelvic floors! lol)

With regards to the money issues, i can relate as its gonna be so tight for me too but if it gets too bad then i will try and take a mortgage break for a while. Is that something you could consider? Also remember that if you do find it hard to pay any bills let them know first. One other thing i tried to do is put a little bit of money away each month whilst im working to help when im not.. I had counselling at the beginning of the year for my health reasons but this did come up and my counseller basically turned round to me and said "would you become homeless?" and i know damn well that i wouldnt so whats the point in worrying?

Oh and with regards to your family, maybe sit down and tell them how you are feeling and say you need their support?

Definately speak to your midwife about how you are feeling as she maybe able to reassure you on a lot of your anxieties.

Keep talking though and dont bottle them up!

Claire x

 

[lea m]

Hun definitely speak to you MW about how your feeling! As others have said, do really think about what your stressed about and try and overcome as many as ou can but if you are depressed hun, you will need a bit of help to see things clearly! I hope for your sake its just the natural stresses of pregnancy and in a few days you will be ok and calmer etc but if not, definitely speak to you MW or GP!

 

[emmie]

Cheers for all your support girls, i am going to look at all the issues ans try and deal with them one by one, with regards to my sister i really think it is a gelousy thing and she does this everytime something good happens with me. last december when i got married she turned nasty a couple of months before hand and ended up not coming to my wedding when she was supposed to be my chief bridesmaid, and now it seems shes doing the same with the baby, well its her loss if she doesnt get to meet her nephew.

 

[CH0C0H0LIC]

Emmie it's something like 8am/9am to 8pm/9pm for visiting at Mat unit (Mornings for OH's and patients children and afternoons for general visitors).

Turnaround when Bubs and Mum are both well is super fast my MW told me 1-2 nights max.

By the time you come in I'll have sussed out the nice helpful MW's and will tell you which ones are good for breastfeeding advice (I'll make it my undercover spy mission lol)

I had the same fears and talking to my MW helped a lot, it's apparently very common and it's mainly just ya hormones playing silly buggers I still have real bad dreams once or twice a week but when Bubs is here it'll have been worth it!

Don't worry too much about your sister, I'm sure it's just jealousy... my family who I hardly talk to are just starting to come out of the woodwork now i'm nearly due and suddenly can't wait to visit me (think I preferred it when they didn't wanna know lol)

Alternatively, you can adopt me temporarily and I'll come visit ya in hossie bearing booties and choccies.... any excuse to see newborn babies greatfully received!!!!



Sarah xxx

 

[emmie]

cheers sarah, i cant believe you will be having yours in 2 weeks time hope everything goes ok, mine still seems a life time away.

 

[CH0C0H0LIC]

Mine seemed a lifetime away to but then it suddenly seems to creep up on ya lol.

You won't be far behind me Honey don't worry!



Sarah xxx