Why won't they eat?????

[kumber]

My lovely boys are driving me up the bloody wall all they want is cake, crisps and chocolate. They haven't eaten veg in months, they refuse potatoes. I'm spending a fortune on fruit and try and give them things like pasta but I'm really struggling. I'm taking a hard line by taking dinner away if they kick off and not offering them anything else, but I'm finding that really hard as a mom as I don't want them to starve. They do eventually eat something but it's nowhere near enough, or it doesn't seem it anyway.

I had hoped it was a phase but we're coming on over 6 months now, and I'm losing the will with them. What do I do??

 

[kumber]

I'm ignoring the bad behaviour and praising when they eat lots of their dinner but it doesn't seem to be working

 

[JD.Deedee]

It took a good half a year if not longer until that phase phased... I did occasionally make a tomato vegs sauce with a range of broccoli, leek or onion, mushroom, peppers, cauliflower with a carton of sieved tomatoes and sometimes some other vegs to try and give him that with pasta or pizza, you can even make a pizza bottom with cauliflower to make pizza healthy!!
I did do offer other food and accepted that he didn't want to eat certain foods sometimes as that did work the opposite way and made me fussy for 10-12 years after.
What did help tho for him to eat a broader range of foods was going to nursery as it seems like he gets to try things we don't eat or even buy. I regret never having gone to a messy munchers group where they are in group setting and just get to taste and try out all sorts of foods and are perhaps encouraged by other children trying it too which might be an idea to see if there's any in your area.

If they don't like potato see if they fancy sweet potato and perhaps bake it or turn them into oven fries and see if that tickles their fancy.

 

[kumber]

Thanks JD. It's helpful to know that this is a long phase, it gives me hope! There are foods neither of them I'll eat so I don't bother cooking them as they'd be wasted, everything I give them they eat elsewhere but just not at home!

My youngest doesn't go to nursery and my eldest doesn't eat at nursery. They eat at my mom's and at my granny's without a bother, it often feels like they just won't eat at home sweet potato is a really good idea, I'll get some in. Thank you

​

 

[Lucyboo]

What has been working for us lately it not piling loads of food in front of her, 1-2 pieces, she eats it and gets more. Been offering home made chips a lot, if she eats them she gets another ( doesn't end up all over the floor either) can you blend vegetables into a tomato based sauce and give with something? Again home made pizzas? If the home made chips are too much like normal potato you can get a crinkle cutter for £1 in Asda my friend tricked her daughter into thinking they were oven chips and she ate them. Good luck,

 

[JD.Deedee]

We lately get a bit of that where he seems to eat say beans, spag hoops, apple and things like that very well at nursery and the talking group but at home he's like nah.. but we have such a severe speech delay he doesn't tell us what he's eaten at nursery or what he fancies which makes it hard but considering he hardly was up for weaning and then was so fussy for over a good half a year. What he refuses now can just be down to he's not hungry for it, perhaps knows there's other choices but just doesn't express it. I can imagine too that when you have two children that the fussiness can be slightly contagious and be copying behaviour.
I notice that copying behaviour as we have to eat on the settee (lack of space for dining table) and he always used to sit on his own table with his dad having his plate on his table with him but he still sits on the settee and he wants to sit next to me and eat his tea on the settee too and not on his table!

 

[kumber]

Thanks ladies, love the idea of blended veg in sauce, will give it a go.

We had success yesterday when he ate 1/8 of a roasties and 2 green beans out of his casserole. I could have cried with happiness

We also have the issue of delayed speech which really does make it tough.

I'll keep persevering, try the reduced portions to try and get them to eat a more well rounded meal.

Thanks again ladies

 

[scn]

Great advice previously about just putting a couple of bits of food down. As a child, I would be full up just looking at a plate of food and wouldn't eat it until my mum learnt to give me a tiny amount then give me seconds and thirds etc. My niece was exactly the same. It really took me to late teens early twenties until I could look at a plateful of food without being put off with the amount! Wish I was still like that though and maybe I'd still be a size 10

 

[kumber]

Thanks scn. We are big eaters and always have big plates, always have been so I assumed they would be the same. I'll try smaller portions and see how we go

 

[BunnyN]

I have found with DD putting food on the table within her reach rather than on her plate tends to work the best. She will often reach out and try something if you dont mention anything about it. If it had been on her plate she would have kicked up a fuss. I try and get her to taste new food but say she doesnt have to eat it if she doesnt like it after she tastes it. It seems to work better to keep it fairly light and fun rather than locking horns about it and making her stubborn.

The biggest thing seems to be limiting the junk food she gets. She is very skillful at going from meal to meal without eating any 'real' food and filling up on any deserts, crisps, croissants, cakes etc she can get inbetween times. Then meal time comes and she is not hungry again so there isnt a hope of getting good food into her. I dont even feed her much of that stuff but her dad can be a bit soft and when the inlaws are visiting they spoil her. We try not to keep junk food in the house so they dont eat it on a daily basis, just as a treat when we are out, make homemade deserts together (which we cut a bit on the suger with and sometimes sneak in healthy ingredients) or someone else gives it. If she hasnt eaten any junk in a few days she is much more likely to eat better at the table. When we do give sweets etc she is usually given a small goal like "eat that piece of broccoli first" or "try everything on your plate first". If she was made to eat everything first she wouldnt anyway and it would just end in tears so we try to stick to someting reasonable for both of us .

She will get more adventurous with food if she helps me prepair and cook food. We have a juicer and she loves to help me make juice. She stands at the sink and washes the things for me and helps me put them in the juicer. To start with she would only drink apple juice but now she will drink it mixed with all sorts of other fruits and veg like carrot, beatroot etc.

I try to keep giving her the healthy foods she does like, like slices of apple, and she likes peas. If I hand her something as a snack when she is watching TV sometimes she will eat it without thinking about it much so I try to hand her healthy options .

 

[kumber]

Thanks Bunny, sounds like we're having similar experiences

 

[JD.Deedee]

Oh Yea I was making loads of smoothies this summer and my son always come steal some off me and I noticed he only ever wanted the pink looking ones. I varied with mango, pineapple, peach, nectarines, prunes ect. Sometimes I'd bob in strawberry but morello cherries work even better getting it nicely pink! Always added some ground flaxseed for omega 3 (I don't eat fish so we hardly get fish in the house full stop) and the fibre and mixed it up with vanilla yoghurt or similar sorts always worked well to get fruits down! I eat my greens but I don't eat fruit what so ever really so that's the best way to get a fruit vitamin bomb in.

What he also liked funnily enough was omelet with vegs in. Usually I just do spinach, leek and chives. But occasionally I do broccoli when I don't have spinach and one day he come and sat next to me eyed my food up so I gave him some and he ate it!! Hahaha ever since he will have some broccoli or spinache or omelet when I give it him(not on his plate tho), it's one of them where you can go a bit more adventures and say use mushroom, tomato ect instead of what I use

 

[kumber]

Thanks ladies, you've all been so helpful. I love this forum! Will have a think of how I can use and adapt your ideas for my two monsters!

 

[kumber]

I gave them smaller portions, DS1 ate half of the smaller portions and DS2 ate 2 mouthfuls. I give up

 

[Holi]

I put atleast 5 different things on the plate (chicken, carrots, broccoli, mash and Yorkshire pud) rule is rosie has to have one mouthful of each. She's ok with this compromise, and she will then go back to what she likes and then I feel like I've had a tiny victory cos she's atleast tried everything! I'm hoping one day she will realise it's all bloody lovely!

Fussy eaters are the worst and I feel your pain! But don't worry about them starving themselves, they really won't! X

 

[kumber]

Gosh I wish I could do this but they'd plain ignore me I'll give it a good bash, it sounds like a good idea and I like the thought of mini victories! Thanks for the tip

 

[Mel32]

I'm a ftm with a baby so fully admit I've not been through this yet but I've thought a lot about it!

What ages are they?

Can they be involved in food prep or more likely messy food play? What about giving them some chopped up fruit on a tray and asking them to make a fruit salad for the family. I hear play is a huge part of learning to eat, they might be more inclined if it's fun.

Then follow same pattern and get them to top pizza or fill a pan with their choice of veg ready for you to make soup.

Also recommend pinterest great ideas on there like broccoli tots and maybe breakfast muffins (egg/veg) and ways to incorporate veggies.

Xx

 

[kumber]

They're 2.5 and 15 months. I don't let them in to the kitchen as I don't feel it's safe for them but I can always do things in the living room. They eat fruit mostly without issue so it's the veg bit I need to crack now

 

[Mel32]

Yeah just let them think they are helping I heard of someone saying they'd let their kids play with some ingredients during baking while they ctually did the real thing. Any kind of safe involvement or playing with food might spike their interest. Sorting veg into a pot might be worth trying just leave the onions for you to do or theyll be crying! Haha

Just be open to mess and have fun with it .

 

[kumber]

Thank you, I'll see how we can work it