when to tell the facts of life?

[kellie80]

Jess is 9 this year and I haven't told her any thing about puberty or where babies come from, nothing.
I know she is still quite young but she has had to wear deodorant and been getting really greasy hair for 18-24 month already. She is really big for her age next to all the other kids in her class plus her dad went through puberty at a really young age. Just wondering really are these sign she might be starting to go through puberty or just normal now shes a bit older and should I tell her about periods ect or is she too young still. I'm confused.

 

[*Star*]

Could you maybe buy her a book about it? There as some really good ones out there at the moment. Check out the Usborne Growin up books they are really good.

 

[aramintalovegrove]

My boy was never really told as such in the way that we sat him down we have just given him snippets when it arises in conversation etc. TBH there isnt much he doesnt know now, I have a very inquisative boy

I think the best thing is to be open and honest about what happens I would rather my kids got info from me than wrong ideas from the playground, however when my boy comes back and tells me what the other kids talk about it is quite shocking what they pick up on/ talk about. She should be having a talk at school at her age sometime soon so Im sure now would be an excellent time to have a chat with her, there are some great books around now... I remember being given a claire Rainer book from my mum and it scared me to death looking at the pictures and wording.

For sex education books 'Mummy Laid an egg' by Babette Cole http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mummy-Laid-Egg- ... 338&sr=8-2 is wonderful, its 2 kids asking where babies come from and parents saying all sorts of silly things like the stalk, cabbage patch and laying an egg, so the kids show them in simple language how it really happens. The piccies are fun too. I know we have a copy in the parenting section of our libary but its not too expensive to buy.

as for books on periods I dont have any reccommendations but if you find any let me know coz I now have a girl to do all that fun stuff with

 

[nickilubs]

My mummy told me about the birds and bees when I was about 10, it was just before we did Sex Ed at school she come in to the bathroom to help me wash my hair and she said about the sex ed and what it was going to be about it was mostly to do with periods. I knew alot already I used to read lots of teenage magazines and I spoke to my older cousins about it so they would tell me everything. When I got my first period I was like oh need a pad. lol! Mum wanted to make it a big "aawwww you have grown up!!" thing lol I was just like no, I just need a pad...and I wanted to go swimming lol! As for the sex talk I taught myself everything from all girly teen magazines and friends! When I was 14 I could name more STIs than most 18 year olds, I think my mum always was a bit shocked at me wanting such grown up mags but I learned so much.

I agree with getting a book or something

 

[Sephs]

I agree, either a book or yourself. Learning stuff from the playground results in things like 'you can get pregnant from sitting in someone elses bath water'

*waits for someone to tell me you can...*

 

[nickilubs]

I agree, either a book or yourself. Learning stuff from the playground results in things like 'you can get pregnant from sitting in someone elses bath water'

*waits for someone to tell me you can...*

Yah that so true and if you jump up and down on the same bed as a boy has!!!

I think a book would be good. Maybe explain periods and stuff to her then when she has her first you could give her the book about the birds and bees as a special gift then she can read it in her own time and learn about things with out feeling too embarrassed.

 

[mamichuli]

I talked to Jessie really early cos she asked where babies come from ...when she was six!

I had been gearing up to tell her, cos we were always quite open at home about bodies and stuff and I had thought of simple ways of telling her about mummies and daddies and so on in simple terms so that she could understand, not too much info etc
so when does she pop the question? in the car in horrible traffic!!! so i explained as best i could in the circumstances..and then said "do you understand what mummy has explained? and she said "yes, but you are wrong!"
" I asked auntie Carmen and she said they came with the stork!"!!!!

so ...I said, well, i had to say something..."She and your uncle dont have any babies yet, so they probably dont know!"

Lisa

 

[Becky]

so ...I said, well, i had to say something..."She and your uncle dont have any babies yet, so they probably dont know!"

Love it!! I have been waiting for DD to ask how DS got into mummy's tummy but so far she's only been concerned with how he got out which was nice and easy, because I had a section I said that the doc did an operation so now she tells everyone that!

 

[kellie80]

Well Jess isn't a very street wise kids for want of a better word. I know she doesn't have a clue about any of it yet, the only thing I have told her is where the actually come out, babies that is. Once I start telling her though, where do I stop? Do I tell her about how babies get in there in the 1st place? I might just go off to the library and get her a book!

 

[Kate82]

I think around 9 or 10 is a suitable age. I was told when I was 9 and I don't remember fully understanding everything really.

A friend of mine has two daughters; the eldest is 9 in the week while the younger isn't 4 until June. The younger of the two is fascinated about babies while her older sister doesn't want to know. The younger of the girls has now come up with a somewhat clever idea about where babies come from.

The mother eats the baby which is how it ends up in the tummy. She then has to eat a lot more to feed the baby and went she has too much, the baby pops out of the tummy button.

Quite clever for a 3 year old, haha.

 

[EllieG]

I bought Bethany the pink Usborne book (can't remember what its called) but chose not to let her read it all at once. She is already developing, started to get pubic hair, her breasts are developing, but in many ways she is still so young, I didnt want to bombard her and make her grow up too quick. Having said that I think she was worried about what was happening cos she was in the bath one day, called me in and started talking about her nipples being different to her friends etc.... I try to answer questions honestly, but don't know when to talk to her about periods, and sex etc......
That wasn't much help was it

 

[muppetmummy]

I think you need to tell her soon as she could start her periods at anytime and she needs to be prepared. I think getting her a book is a good idea.
I haven't told James anything yet, luckily he doesn't ask many questions and when he does he loses interest a few minutes into me trying to answer them

 

[Iggle20]

There's an excellent book by Judy Bloom called "Are you there God, it's me Margaret".
It's not actually religious as it sounds and aimed at girls your daughters age.
Basically it's about girly things that are "way too embarrasing to talk to parents about", it explains things as your best friends would, girls worrying about bras and periods etc, maybe check out Amazon or similar for a better explination but it's a great book, I read it as a girl and it sure answered a few questions that I wasn't ready to talk to Mum about etc. Even if she's not a book reader you might find she'll want to read it as the more you read the more you wanna read. Really simple honest explinations etc.

 

[EllieG]

There's an excellent book by Judy Bloom called "Are you there God, it's me Margaret".
It's not actually religious as it sounds and aimed at girls your daughters age.
Basically it's about girly things that are "way too embarrasing to talk to parents about", it explains things as your best friends would, girls worrying about bras and periods etc, maybe check out Amazon or similar for a better explination but it's a great book, I read it as a girl and it sure answered a few questions that I wasn't ready to talk to Mum about etc. Even if she's not a book reader you might find she'll want to read it as the more you read the more you wanna read. Really simple honest explinations etc.

Oh god I remember that book!!! Totally forgotten about it, although I remember reading it when I was about 10 I think!

 

[nickilubs]

There's an excellent book by Judy Bloom called "Are you there God, it's me Margaret".
It's not actually religious as it sounds and aimed at girls your daughters age.
Basically it's about girly things that are "way too embarrasing to talk to parents about", it explains things as your best friends would, girls worrying about bras and periods etc, maybe check out Amazon or similar for a better explination but it's a great book, I read it as a girl and it sure answered a few questions that I wasn't ready to talk to Mum about etc. Even if she's not a book reader you might find she'll want to read it as the more you read the more you wanna read. Really simple honest explinations etc.

Oh god I remember that book!!! Totally forgotten about it, although I remember reading it when I was about 10 I think!

I had that book too! Hehe I only just realized It must have been placed somewhere that I would find it!!! Yeh thats a good book to read for little girls, I read it about 10 times

 

[lisa282]

I would keep it simple but definitely introduce her to the facts of periods and stuff. My mum never really explained anything to me until it actually happened to me, and I was pretty young. I had my first period just before I turned 10, so I was still in primary school and I can still remember being SO embarrassed because my knickers were all bloody. You couldnt see it from outside, but thats every girls nightmare I think and you just become paranoid about it. I had read a few basics from girls books/magazines so kinda knew what was happening but its still scary for a young girl, and having your mum explain it makes is somehow less alien and more acceptable iykwim. How you approach it though is a whole other ball game, and one Im glad I dont have to face for a few years yet! x

 

[sazzylou]

ive been so worried about talking to Beth about all this stuff She asked about babies once before, and i told her that mummy has teeny eggs and she was happy with that...for now....

We've already talked about periods because she asks me what things are in the bathroom (towels, tampons) so when i tell her what they are, then i kinda have to tell her what theyre for too and she's fine with that. And she knows her body will change when she's a bit bigger and thats fine too.

Its just the whole 'sex' talk thing. I honestly find the thought of it mortifying, and i never thought i would. I alwasy said id be open with my kids, but im finding it hard!!

I think i may have to have a look at some of the books that have been mentioned...

 

[ClaireJ]

I'm in the same position too.

DD Ellie was 9 at the end of last month and she doesn't know a thing. Well, she knows how a baby comes out but she doesn't know about periods, sex or anything else like that. Since she's now 9, she could start her period any day and she won't know what it is or how to deal with it. I want to talk to her about it but at times Ellie can be very immature and I know she wouldn't really want to know when I sit her down to talk about it.

I've mentioned my 15 year old niece Molly in previous posts before. Obviously, Molly has changed a lot due to puberty and at times Ellie has questioned certain things like why do you wear a bra?, where's the hair on your leg gone?, why do you get boyfriends when you're a teenager? and it makes Molly feel uncomfortable. Ellie knows to come to me if she has any questions but she is drawn towards Molly and I don't want Molly to be answering her questions.

 

[valentine]

I was bought this book when I was about 9 or 10, which I thought was really good.

Have You Started Yet?

Valentine Xxx