What to do with the dog **UPDATE**

[Becc]

Hi all,

To cut a long story short, I'm due in July and I've got a 9 month old black lab... as time goes on I get scared that keeping him when we are going to have a baby isn't the best idea. He doesn't have a nasty bone in his body and would never hurt the baby or anyone intentionally. But he is very boysterous, rebellious and demanding and I'm concerned that he will accidentally injure the baby in a silly moment or that I'll become depressed and stressed (I have a long history of this) if I am trying to look after the baby whilst constantly correcting the dogs behaviour and chasing him around because he has run off with something or other.

I obviously love my dog and don't want to part with him if I don't have to... but as time goes on and I try different things and his behaviour doesn't seem to improve I just become increasingly stressed and frustrated. Some days I'm reduced to tears because from the moment OH leaves for work til he gets back the dog constantly misbehaved and I'm so tired and can't get a moment's peace.

Has anyone had a similar situation and can offer any advice? I'm absolutely at the end of my tether and I just don't know what to do. I feel like the longer I leave it, the older he wil be and the more difficult it will be to rehome him if we have to. Please help, it's all driving me a bit insane!!

**UPDATE**

Well, I have made my decision and unfortunately that means the dog has to be rehomed. This comes after he has knocked me over a couple of times, one time really hurting my leg, through being very boisterous. I'm heart broken but I feel like I just can't put my baby at risk, not to mention that I've been limping around since this morning as well. If he can knock me over, he can knock over a crib or a baby walker and I just would never forgive myself if harm came to our child because I was hanging on to the dog... I have to prioritise. He's a great dog, very loving, but he just isn't suitable for us and our situation at the moment.

I'm going to call the breeder this afternoon to see if he knows anybody who would be willing to take him and if not I'll be contacting labrador rescue. I feel so guilty, like I have let the dog down or something, and it's tearing me apart but I just can't take any more and the sooner I know he has gone to a good home, the sooner I can start to get used to him not being around and concentrate on the baby. I still have two cats and I should be thankful for them I suppose.

 

[babyblonde]

The problem is he's only a baby himself hun! They do tend to calm down as they get a bit older - our dalmatain certainly has. Our little collie is only 18 months old and is still very much a puppy - but getting better gradually (apart from the toileting which is a separate issue!). I don't know how much you excercise your dog but ours are definitely much better behaved when they go out for a good run regularly.

 

[Sephs]

Personally, if I were in your shoes, I'd maybe ask any family or friends if they would like to take him, that way you can still see him and check how he's doing. At least until after LO is born, as babyblonde says, he is still a puppy and you're only in 1st tri (I think, sorry if I'm wrong), that gives you a good few months for him to settle down and grow up.

Maybe I'm no help, but I hope you get it sorted out

 

[Xena]

I wouldn't have a dog and a baby to be honest. Or if I did, I'd always make sure they were in separate rooms. If you bring the baby into the lounge, take the dog into the kitchen. If you take the baby into the kitchen, take the dog into the lounge. And so on.

Just keep them apart if you can't face selling/giving away your dog.

 

[HollyHobby]

How about enrolling him in some behaviour classes?

personally I think it's a shame if people feel that the have to get rid of their pets because animals and babies have lived in harmony for centuries. The dog and baby could in years to come be the bestest of pals!

You know your dog best though, for me though I think wait and see how it pans out, you dont know for sure how the dog will be.

 

[meandthebump]

I have two dogs, the youngest is 14 months old. If your lab has a lot of energy i wonder if he's getting enough exercise? Also mental stimulation. If you don't already do it i would recommend that you find a good dog training class to go to. I've been taking my youngest to obedience classes since she was a little puppy and also do agility with both dogs. They love the attention these classes give them and are always shattered afterwards. My husband and i both grew up with dogs and i think that children and dogs can live together happily. However, if you don't feel able to keep your dog, he is still young and I'm sure he would adapt to a new home ok. Best of luck.

 

[Mik]

We have an 18 month old choc lab and although she is older I have no worries about how she will react to the baby. I think you are lucky that it is a lab which are well known for being a breed that are widely good with babies and young children. I would perservere with your training hun go to training classes or you can even get trainers that come to the home to help you with issues in the house my friend does this for her dog and it costs her £10 a visit but you won't ness nedd alot of visits. Contact your vet they are the best place to offer numbers for training places etc.
When you are due your dog will be alot calmer though still a bit scatty and boisterous but labs are clever dogs and it is amazing to see how they react differently to small people. Obviously never leave a young baby or child alone with a dog until you are absolutely confident there is no problem.
I have been on the other end when I was expecting our first we had 2 6 month old german shepherds and they were beautiful dogs but they would only obey my husband and began to nip at me and bite (just in a payful way) but with my husband being in the army and not always around and a baby on the way we decided we couldn't risk it and asked the RSPCA to re-home them. If it comes to make sure you take your dog to RSPCA they are fab and they let me know when the dogs were rehomes and how they got on when they had their visit to check on them. Believe me a lab will not be in the kennels long.

 

[meandthebump]

Would like to add that i agree with Mik - if you do feel you need to rehome your dog the RSPCA will help. One of my dogs is an RSPCA dog. We don't know her history but do know that she had a family before who could no longer keep her. We rehomed her at 7 months old.

 

[Sandie]

I know EXACTLY how you are feeling.

DH bought me a rottie puppy for my 21st birthday in May last year, in July we bought another puppy (a wee girl), but in October we found out i was 14 weeks gone (Baby was not planned) and i had to make the most difficult decision ever... to rehome them. It broke my heart - aswell as my OH. Even though my 2 pups were very well behaved and trained to perfection a new baby & 2 rotties is not practical.

I didn't advertise them, they went to their new home through word of mouth. They went to a fantastic home together where they are getting on great. I get to see them and get regular updates.

It's difficult but you have to do it..

 

[poochielove]

My whippet is 2 years old now and still a pain in the arse! Mind you so is the 7 year old Greyhound . The whippet used to chew everything up which he still does sometimes now and he is really bouncy. My OH takes them both out for a run before he goes to work for about an hour to two hours and i dont hear a peep out of them all day! They just lounge on the sofa snoozing!
Sometimes OH wakes up late/his alarm doesnt go off and they dont go out and they are a bloody nightmare whining, play fighting, chewing. But on those days MIL usualyy comes round an takes them for a walk with her dogs.

In regards to them round Teddy they are so gentle! I was so worried about it. When we came back from the hospital we let the sniff him, i must admit my heart was in my mouth! But the dont even bother with him now, every now and again they will sniff him in his bouncer to check he is still there but thats it.

Invest in a sling maybe? It means you have got to move the moses basket/bouncer everytiime you need to leave a room that the dogs are in.

I would leave your decision another couple of months first and enroll him in dog training classes...you may well see a huge improvement!

 

[keli]

I've just rehomed my Labrador. I just wasn't giving her the attention she needed and i felt guilty. I adored Esme and she'd been my baby for 5 years but i knew i was doing the right thing. Have a looky on this website http://www.homealabrador.net they were fab with me. I'm still waiting for pictures for her in her new home as it was only last week. I know it's hard but you really need to think about you and the baby. Labs especially boys need loads of exercise and attention. Esme didn't calm down at all she still is really boisterous and she's 5! I was happy for her to go to these people because of the vetting etc the new owners would have to endure.

 

[Sunflower]

Hi I have a chocolate lab!! I love him to pieces and he is the most gorgoues little puppy still ever. He is 18 months now so will be just under two when the baby comes.

We have been going to training classes every week for the past year but stopped when I got pregnant as I couldnt handle him as I have spd.

to be honest he was SOOOOOO boistress between 8 - 14 months but now he has calmed down and he is a joy! he is so loving and has been as good as gold the minute he knew I was pregnant! he knew before we did!! he smelt me and wouldn't leave my side at all!! he is still the same!! he is still boisterous with my husband and every night they have rough and tumble time but the minute he comes anywhere me he is as gentle as a lamb! he is the same with children !! he loves them and the smaller the better and the more protective he is! he is just a joy!

I know its hard work it is and there are times I have to put him in the kitchen for some time out!! but that is rarer and rarer he is such a good boy now!! I couldn't be without him and definitely couldnt imagine my baby growing up without having the dog there!! when we got the dog we got him knowing that we wanted to have children and we wanted to have an environment where our kids were not afraid of children and the lab and the baby would be best friends!! Try to perservere it will be worth it! by the time the baby has arrived he will be so much better!

BUT get some help with training!! its hard to do it on your own and you shouldnt have to see if family and friends can help. We went to training run by the rspca and it was 4 quid an hour and really helped!! the other thing with our lab is he is naughty and boisterous when he has not been walked so if he is naughty sometimes its our own fault if we havent walked him. My husband walks him every morning now from 730 for about 40 minutes and he runs off all his energy!!! and if i can I walk him again but that is only usually twice a week then on the weekend we take him for long walks and he has learn t to swim which knackers him out till Wednesday!!!

So try the other options first it will be so lovely for you t o have a family with a dog in it! and labs are so great with kids.

I couldnt be without ours at all love him to pieces!! even when he has just chewed something!!

Sunny pm if you need anything

X

 

[Jenny123]

Hi,

I have been studying Dog behaviour for a while now as its a subject I find very interesting... I have a Jack Russell and she is perfect with the baby. There should be no reason to rehome your dog at all as there will always be a reason why they are misbehaving, we just need to interpret it and eliminate the cause. What exactly is he doing? Is he jumping up? If you can let me know what he's doing wrong then I might be able to help. Also what do you feed him on, some foods are full of additives, especially Bakers. Its like giving a kid Macdonalds every day!

PM me and I will try and help, I also know a fantastic behaviourist and will be able to ask her advice to pass on to you.

Jenny

 

[Jenny123]

Just read your post again... The reason he is running off with things is because you are chasing him!! Its a fantastic game for him! I know its difficult but if he takes something then ignore him, don't even look at him and he will learn that his behaviour is not getting a reaction. Any time we interact with our dogs we are rewarding them. Chasing is one of the top rewards so in actual fact any time you chase him around you are telling him that what he is doing is correct.

Maybe try a house line for a while. Attach an old lead to his collar and cut off the hoop so it doesn't get caught on anything. That way if he grabs anything he shouldn't you can control him by grabbing the lead (remember don't talk, touch, or look at him) and remove the object from him. If he gets too boisterous you can take him by the house line to a quiet room and leave him there for a few minutes. If he barks and whines just ignore him and he will learn that his behaviour is not being rewarded by speech, touch or eye contact.

 

[Sunflower]

Just read your post again... The reason he is running off with things is because you are chasing him!! Its a fantastic game for him! I know its difficult but if he takes something then ignore him, don't even look at him and he will learn that his behaviour is not getting a reaction. Any time we interact with our dogs we are rewarding them. Chasing is one of the top rewards so in actual fact any time you chase him around you are telling him that what he is doing is correct.

Maybe try a house line for a while. Attach an old lead to his collar and cut off the hoop so it doesn't get caught on anything. That way if he grabs anything he shouldn't you can control him by grabbing the lead (remember don't talk, touch, or look at him) and remove the object from him. If he gets too boisterous you can take him by the house line to a quiet room and leave him there for a few minutes. If he barks and whines just ignore him and he will learn that his behaviour is not being rewarded by speech, touch or eye contact.

Thats great advise Jenny 123

We had the same issues with ours stealing things!! our trainer told us the same thing let him have what ever it is as long as it wont harm him and then in about 2 / 3 minutes distract him with something else so he doesnt assume he is being rewarded for the stealing!! it really worked for us!!

we now have the challenge of him bringing us presents!! which is so cute - he only does it when he wants a cuddle or attention but again we are trying not to look and reward this behavior even though it is cute!! very hard though!!

Any tips on how to stop him jumping up at people that come to the door - I have managed to stop him jumping up at me but certain people he just wont stop doing it to!!

 

[NICCI]

hey hun,
i have a bouncy boxer and was also worried that he would hurt jack!
he is soooo cute with him and so gentle!

plus walking him everyday is good for me and jack, my baby weight dropped off

 

[Jenny123]

Any tips on how to stop him jumping up at people that come to the door - I have managed to stop him jumping up at me but certain people he just wont stop doing it to!!

Again, a house line is the best option here... that way you can bring the dog under control without touching him. Then ask whoever it is that comes in to completely ignore the dog until he calms down. When he is totally calm he can be rewarded with either a healthy treat or a cuddle!

 

[jills10uk]

labs need a firm hand and will love you for it too, they love to please and so be firm with the jumping up, we got ours at 6 mths and managed ot get him to stop the jumping. ours was very energetic too, we got him neutered which seemed to help as it reduced the testosterone (sp?) level.

 

[Sunflower]

He is such a good boy really and as long as he is walked he is as good as gold!! he forgets about the jumping but think its just with certain people so we are getting strict now!!! but we wouldnt be without him for a second - I cant wait for the baby and him to be best friends!!

 

[Full of hope!]

Hi

We have a Bullmastiff and she was 2 and a half when Jacob came along. I was very worried about how she would react to Jacob but she really suprised me She is so good with him and very gentle. Jacob absolutly LOVES her too and i'm sure they will be best friends!

Your dog is still very much a puppy and I remember how hard the puppy days were and I wasn't even pregnant! We took Tia to puppy training classes and they really helped, maybe you could give one a go?

Good luck with whatever you decide to do