We decided to start all over again

[laetitia85]

First of all, I just wanna give a big to anyone having relationship problems, I don't always have the time to leave a comment but i want everyone to be encouraged by my story. I'll make it short.


My hubby and I were having arguments at least 3 or 4 times per week since the beginning of my pregnancy up until recently. it's not healthy when you are pregnant, trust me. We kept arguing over stupid things and it felt like we were no longer a couple. we hated it, but we just couldn't stop. sometimes we ended up not talking for hours. it's very damaging for a relationship. communication is the key to everything. we knew we loved each other but we just couldn't find a way to make it work.

Until recently, when we thought "this is it" we knew we had to do something. we had an argument then he just stopped and said "do you realise we haven't spent a single day without arguing recently". i said yes, I know. then i started crying. that's when we decided that enough was enough and we should start all over again. meaning doing things like a new couple, going out as a couple again (my mum can baby sit) and falling in love all over again.

Taking that resolution has worked so far, we did it a week ago and we haven't argued since. obviously we talked about the things we had to change: the way we talk to each other, the things we do that might irritate the other etc... and it's working really well.

so there is a solution. talk about what's going wrong, and find ways to avoid doing things that can annoy your partner. e.g. he is a very messy person and his mess really irritates me. so he is making an effort now.

anyway don't think breaking up is always the only option. it's not.

 

[MissThing]

I definatly agree with you!
Well done with sorting things out

We had loads of tought times with my DH since the baby was born, but what we find the best thing is to talk! I never leave the argument untalked, and, especially I stick to the fantastic rule- never sleep over the argument, what was a small scrach in the evening will turn into a massive wound in the morning! And doing things as a couple also helps! I love my DH to bits and I hope it stays like that forever!

 

[trixipaws]

glad ur sorting things out

me and my boyf were like that once, much earlier in our relationship (the first 2 years) we would argue so bad that we "broke up" TWICE A WEEK!!

we were hooked on each other tho couldnt properly break up and im so glad now coz here we are nearly 8 years later with a perfect little princess!

havin said that, havin a baby has put a MASSIVE strain on our relationship. hopefully we can get thru it again!

 

[clairescunny55]

me and my boyf were like that once, much earlier in our relationship (the first 2 years) we would argue so bad that we "broke up" TWICE A WEEK!!

ditto. glad you're sorting it out hun xx

 

[LucyBee]

Good for you! That's brilliant.
Lucyx

 

[NooNoo]

glad your sorting it out

me and oh have tried this but it didnt work...we finished tonight lol

hope it works for you though

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

Glad you have worked it out hun communication is key to a succesful relationship

 

[Sammystar]

well done to you both for talking about it. Communication is definitely the key, and so is making a huge effort to keep the 'fire alight'.

One thing I always swore was that even though we had kids, we would never let our relationship suffer. I got the children into a bedtime routine from very early on, so me and OH could enjoy some adult time together every day. It's not easy to do this, it requires commitment. As long as you both want it, and are both prepaired to make compromises, and KEEP TALKING then it will work.

Where mine (and the majority) of marriages start to crumble, is when only one partner is making the effort. With me it felt like I was doing all the hard work, and he wasn't even meeting me halfway. By the end he just became like the lodger. He gave up on us, and there was no going back from that point....

Keep talking, keep loving eachother, and keep sharing...........

 

[laetitia85]

glad your sorting it out

me and oh have tried this but it didnt work...we finished tonight lol

hope it works for you though

oh nooo is there no way you can sort it out? how about councelling?

 

[MissSara]

Thanks for the advice im going to take it and show OH this, since i have been pregnant all we do is argue about 4 times a week and its getting to me cuz i know they are really silly and pathetic arguements, like childish bickering.
We went to the cinema last night and had a really good night and today thats it, its all kicked off again, we have had to spend the day apart because i dont want to be near him. Now we are back to square one and i'm feeling sorry for myself once again.
When he gets home we will sit down and discuss things calmly and like adults for once, its either we make up or break up. I hate these hormones.

 

[Lou]

I think sometimes theres a line that once its been crossed theres no going back. I reached that line with my alcoholic boyfriend before I met my OH. Its good that you are working things out, if there is any shred of relationship left to save then its worth fighting for. Unfortunately alot of couples (me and ex) go too far down the line and its best for everyone to just walk away. Obviously its a whole diferent ball game when there are children involved so good on you both. I really admire you for biting the bullet and starting over.

I really really wish you all the best

 

[Snuggle]

I wish you all the luck in the world

Me and DH are giving our marriage another go and starting over after separating for a couple of weeks so sometimes there are relationships that are worth fighting for

 

[mrs_tommo22]

I wish you all the luck in the world

Me and DH are giving our marriage another go and starting over after separating for a couple of weeks so sometimes there are relationships that are worth fighting for

Now Jules where on earthdid you get that line from?

 

[Snuggle]

I wish you all the luck in the world

Me and DH are giving our marriage another go and starting over after separating for a couple of weeks so sometimes there are relationships that are worth fighting for

Now Jules where on earthdid you get that line from?

Hmmm I seem to remember it was some nutjob I was chatting to recently

 

[NooNoo]

glad your sorting it out

me and oh have tried this but it didnt work...we finished tonight lol

hope it works for you though

oh nooo is there no way you can sort it out? how about councelling?

oh i dont know...suppose i just want some time on my own to re assess the situation hehe