Hi You all,
Just to begin with, I am 25 years old got married last year to the love of my life....... bless!!! Due to busy work schedule didnt get time to go on a honeymoon.... yet!!! However since its men my husband all by ourselves living in this country it never actually mattered to b honest....... have all the privacy in the world!!!
Getting to the point now.... i conceived in mid january 2011 (unplanned 1st baby) didnt realise untill march...... i thought since i took tablets to kinda postpone my AF there was a delay but no the symptoms were too obvious for every1 but me.... so one of friend asked me to POAS n guess wat it was a BFP... we were thrilled n over the moon.....my husband called everyone to tell them the good news.... all was well till same evening my mom called me to ask me if I was crazy to tell every1 so soon..... she had apparently received a call from a long distant relative to congratulate her............. yess!!!! the news had spread like wild fire!!! only the i realised that we are supposed to keep this personal till the 1st trimester...... n it scared me .... thats it i started getting all weird thoughts.......somehow i started googling about MC everyday...... n how to avoid them..... neverthe less.... to cut the long story short..... went to the doc in april for my 12 week scan..... the tech lady told me that there was a bad news..... i was stunned..... she goes dnt cry it either can be that ur dates are miscalculated and so the growth looks like 5 weeks rather than 12 or u have MC..... she told us to go to the next room wer the doc advised us to wait for another week to see if there was any growth if not........
that week was like hell i cried every day....... spoke to my stomach telling if u r in there please hang on n i will love u n take good care of u n sorts.......but in vain!!!!! my next scan revealed the unexpected.... i had lost it probably wen i found out..... so for all the 7 weeks i was carrying a technically dead foetus......n my body was till reacting and carried a false pregnancy...... it was a heart breaking experience!!!!
6 months now and i still cant get over it.... i always ask 1 question if it wasnt there why did my body acted stupid and not detect it....... only if i wud have been a better judge of my symptoms i cud have prevented so many heartbreaks..... my husband who started making a list of the best gal n boy names..... n deciding what he will teach the baby n wat i will...... my in laws planned a welcome home party and started looking venues for the baby shower n namimg ceremony for the baby....... my mom made a list of do's and donts and even had her health check up done (wich she never does no matter how much i insist or blackmail) just to make sure she is healthy enough to be around the baby for longer time..... n mine list was endless... i dcided abt the school college even marriage for the baby...... all of these dreams shattered... all beacuse i was unaware and did not have enough knowledge about this....
uuuuuuuuuffffffff......... thought now i am strong enough to write this but it still brings tears to my eyes..... the reason i wrote this today is that i got a email 2 days ago from another baby forum i enrolled in march to ask me if i was all set for the baby's arrival........ yess the baby was due on 14th oct...... and the last 2 days have been horrendous..... to add to it i am surrounded by pregnant women everywer....... i mean i am not jealous of them at all...god bless them n theire precious ones.......but it sucks!!! i dnt knw if any one understands how i feel!!!
Me and my DH have decided to move on and i am actively TTC but i dnt knw the calculation bit....... read so many blogs but did not get anywer.... the thing is if i conceive now the baby will be a July or Aug baby.... july being my birth month and aug being my DH's so very much looking forward.....
any suggestions/tips are welcome!!!
And apologies for such a long note
xx
Just to begin with, I am 25 years old got married last year to the love of my life....... bless!!! Due to busy work schedule didnt get time to go on a honeymoon.... yet!!! However since its men my husband all by ourselves living in this country it never actually mattered to b honest....... have all the privacy in the world!!!
Getting to the point now.... i conceived in mid january 2011 (unplanned 1st baby) didnt realise untill march...... i thought since i took tablets to kinda postpone my AF there was a delay but no the symptoms were too obvious for every1 but me.... so one of friend asked me to POAS n guess wat it was a BFP... we were thrilled n over the moon.....my husband called everyone to tell them the good news.... all was well till same evening my mom called me to ask me if I was crazy to tell every1 so soon..... she had apparently received a call from a long distant relative to congratulate her............. yess!!!! the news had spread like wild fire!!! only the i realised that we are supposed to keep this personal till the 1st trimester...... n it scared me .... thats it i started getting all weird thoughts.......somehow i started googling about MC everyday...... n how to avoid them..... neverthe less.... to cut the long story short..... went to the doc in april for my 12 week scan..... the tech lady told me that there was a bad news..... i was stunned..... she goes dnt cry it either can be that ur dates are miscalculated and so the growth looks like 5 weeks rather than 12 or u have MC..... she told us to go to the next room wer the doc advised us to wait for another week to see if there was any growth if not........
that week was like hell i cried every day....... spoke to my stomach telling if u r in there please hang on n i will love u n take good care of u n sorts.......but in vain!!!!! my next scan revealed the unexpected.... i had lost it probably wen i found out..... so for all the 7 weeks i was carrying a technically dead foetus......n my body was till reacting and carried a false pregnancy...... it was a heart breaking experience!!!!
6 months now and i still cant get over it.... i always ask 1 question if it wasnt there why did my body acted stupid and not detect it....... only if i wud have been a better judge of my symptoms i cud have prevented so many heartbreaks..... my husband who started making a list of the best gal n boy names..... n deciding what he will teach the baby n wat i will...... my in laws planned a welcome home party and started looking venues for the baby shower n namimg ceremony for the baby....... my mom made a list of do's and donts and even had her health check up done (wich she never does no matter how much i insist or blackmail) just to make sure she is healthy enough to be around the baby for longer time..... n mine list was endless... i dcided abt the school college even marriage for the baby...... all of these dreams shattered... all beacuse i was unaware and did not have enough knowledge about this....
uuuuuuuuuffffffff......... thought now i am strong enough to write this but it still brings tears to my eyes..... the reason i wrote this today is that i got a email 2 days ago from another baby forum i enrolled in march to ask me if i was all set for the baby's arrival........ yess the baby was due on 14th oct...... and the last 2 days have been horrendous..... to add to it i am surrounded by pregnant women everywer....... i mean i am not jealous of them at all...god bless them n theire precious ones.......but it sucks!!! i dnt knw if any one understands how i feel!!!
Me and my DH have decided to move on and i am actively TTC but i dnt knw the calculation bit....... read so many blogs but did not get anywer.... the thing is if i conceive now the baby will be a July or Aug baby.... july being my birth month and aug being my DH's so very much looking forward.....
any suggestions/tips are welcome!!!
And apologies for such a long note
xx
