Think i feel the need 4 a break again . . . .

[sonia205]

Im sorry ppl but i think this sums it up - and i will b back just gimme some time.......

Well if i haven't seemed myself on msn, forums or what ever, i will now explain the reason why.

I have recently been seeing a councilor to help with my issues I have at the moment.
These issues include,
- my uprbringing in general,
- PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder)
- PND (post natal depression)

I have my good days but bad days seem to be a more realistic description.
I have rather disturbed thoughts at the moment, i will not list these as they are really disturbing and even i cant face to write them down.

To be honest im really struggling with life at the moment, i rather be on my own, in my own space, talking to no one.
I led my childhood alone in my bedroom listening to music so i guess in a way im doing what i know best.

Because of my issues my marriage is now beggining to fail and thats making me even more depressed.

Depression is taking over me, like a nasty virus and i dont know how to get rid of it.

So if u r on my msn list, and i havent been talking recently, dont take offense its just best i dont talk to anyone much at the moment becuase i usually end up in rows and arguments i cant and won't win.
I feel quite weak in myself and ive even had those suicidal thoughts back again.
I just think its best i sort myself out while i feel like this.
I hope you all can understand my reasoning - and dont stay mad at me for long.
The old Sonia's in there, shes just hiding at the moment cos life is tough.

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

Hun im so sorry you are going through this i had no idea, i really hope this time away will do some good and bring happiness back into your life, if you ever need to chat we are all here for you . Take care of yourself and will be thinking of you and we arent mad at you hun , am gonna miss you around here though.
Katrina

 

[Nicola]

Hope your feeling better soon.
At least your seeking help (councilling) and taking a positive step to erradicate those issues. That's a major first step!! Well done

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

Im not sure why you think anyone would be mad at you, you do whatever you feel the need to do babe and we'll all be here for you when you need us xx

 

[sonia205]

Thanks ladies x

 

[Riley's Mommy]

oh hun.

i hope you start to feel better soon. come back when you are ready. we will all still be here

take care of yourself

 

[SarahB]

I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. Please look after yourself and come back when you are ready. I hope you feel better soon

 

[Charlotte & Emily]

Awww
I hope u feel better soon
Just do whats best for yourself

 

[happy-chick]

Hi Sonia,

We've had a good chat on MSN and hope what ive said has helped you and given you some strength.

You know where I am if you want to talk... you know the rest!

xxxxx

 

[sonia205]

Hi Sonia,

We've had a good chat on MSN and hope what ive said has helped you and given you some strength.

You know where I am if you want to talk... you know the rest!

xxxxx

Thanks hun,
You've been a tonne of support for me.
Well i havent seen my counilor now for 2 weeks, ive called and texted him and nothing as a reply.

We have a buzy couple of weeks now - Duncan has a hip scan at the hospital, James a paediatric appointment and the week after that dean has major surgery too !

I cant help but feel i have to get over what ive got and fast becuase people need me.

Thanks for all your support ladies, and as i explained to sum one on msn that also sed they had no idea i was feelin like this its because i bottle it all up.

I like to help people then when i get to a state like now - i tend to burst.
I bottle it all up

anywya sorry for moanin on thought id give u a update on my situation.

xx

 

[Riley's Mommy]

big

i dont have any advice really. but do try to talk about things. i used to bottle things up too. it really isnt good.

 

[sonia205]

Thanks hun, i just cant talk to anyone, no one can understand my thoughts, feelings etc..

I try to keep most of my things personal, and just cant talk that easily

Thanks ladies x