The loneliness of the first trimester

[JenKat]

Hi everyone! Really glad to be back here. I was around during my first pregnancy and found this community so helpful.
I was wondering how you all deal with what I feel is a real sense of loneliness during the first trimester. I know it's convention to not tell anyone about the pregnancy during the first trimester, and I understand the reasons for this. But I find it hard to be going through such a huge change, that is at times quite difficult, and to not be able to talk about it with friends and family.
We plan to tell our parents as we did the first time. But it's strange to be chatting with friends and not be able to talk about the number one thing that is on your mind most of the day. Does anyone else feel like this? How do you deal with it?

 

[Krysta]

I totally understand this. My pregnancy has been really rough, I’ve been super depressed so the beginning was really hard. If you have one friend that you can tell before everyone else, that would really help. We told one friend each just so we had someone to talk to and it really made it a lot easier. You don’t HAVE to wait to tell people, most people just do. It’s really your preference. If telling someone will help you feel less alone, then I would tell someone you know and trust.

best of luck!

 

[JoJo19]

We probably told more people than people would “usually” tell. but I wanted my close friends and family to know.
It was great not having to hide anything and to be able to talk to them about how I was feeling, I sort of saw it as if something bad happened it would be something I would confide in them about anyway so why not tell them my exciting news. It’s all down to personal preference and what you want to do, don’t think you have to do “the norm” do whatever makes you happy and makes you feel comfortable

 

[Dj2015]

I’ve never seen the point of waiting to tell people, I told a couple of my closest friends before I went totally public.

 

[JenKat]

Thanks guys, this made me feel a lot better. And FWIW, I feel exactly the same. For me personally, (just for me, everyone is different!), I would prefer not to wait to tell those closest to me. I just feel weird not talking about this huge thing with people I am close to.

In my first pregnancy we told both grandparents and my brother before the second trimester.
My husband says he is totally fine with me telling my parents and brother. But he wants to wait to tell his parents (at least for a little while). I respect this and it's totally his choice. But I'm worried his parents will feel disappointed if they know they found out later than my parents.

 

[Krysta]

Thanks guys, this made me feel a lot better. And FWIW, I feel exactly the same. For me personally, (just for me, everyone is different!), I would prefer not to wait to tell those closest to me. I just feel weird not talking about this huge thing with people I am close to.

In my first pregnancy we told both grandparents and my brother before the second trimester.
My husband says he is totally fine with me telling my parents and brother. But he wants to wait to tell his parents (at least for a little while). I respect this and it's totally his choice. But I'm worried his parents will feel disappointed if they know they found out later than my parents.

Maybe tell your partner how you’re feeling? That’s what I would do. Maybe you can compromise and tell his parents so you can feel a bit better. He should be understanding of how you’re feeling during this stressful and difficult time.

 

[JenKat]

Oh absolutely. He is incredibly supportive. I know that if I said it was important to me to tell his parents when we tell mine, he'd have no problem telling his parents earlier. The thing is, I don't really mind. I just don't want to hurt their feelings.

 

[Krysta]

Oh I absolutely understand! That’s great that he is supportive. I would just talk to him about it and see how he feels too I hope you start to feel better!

 

[JenKat]

Thank you
We're telling my parents tomorrow (via skype). And he's going to think about a good time to tell his parents soon. He has a different relationship with them than I do with my parents and I respect that those dynamics need to be handled differently. I'm excited to tell my parents though.

 

[Krysta]

Awesome! I’m sure they will be so excited. Bask in it, such a great feeling