Terrified of second missed miscarriage

[Pearl81]

**UPDATE** 03/03/18

Had my scan today!!! Baby is alive measuring 17mm and I heard the healthy 162 bpm heart beat!! Baby is 8 weeks 2 days and my chances of a miscarriage now are 1%!!! I am the happiest girl alive!!!

**************************************************

I am sure I am not the only one who has ever been in this position before but I am simply terrified of experiencing a second missed miscarriage. I am 37 years of age and have been trying to conceive for 2 years now. After 18 months of TTC I finally got pregnant and was the happiest girl alive. I was so excited, planning baby names, thinking about changing cars, doing the bathroom up etc but then the worst thing happened...a missed miscarriage.

I initially went for a 6 week scan. I had a a scan and everything was ok. The foetus was the right size but there was no heart beat. They told me not to worry as was still a bit early and to come back in 2 weeks. Well, I was very reassured at this point. No bleeding, no pain so everything must be ok right? Wrong! I go back for another scan only to be told my baby died at 6 weeks (my last scan). Devastated does not come close to describing how I felt. I was told to rest for a week and come back again. When I went in I knew it was bad news...symptoms had lessened and I was prepared this time. They confirmed I had suffered a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks. I had a D&C the following week (still no signs of bleeding even 4 weeks after the baby died).

Well I wasn't going to give up and 4 months later I got pregnant again back in January this year. So am I happy? The moment I read it on the Clearblue stick yes - for about 3 seconds. Then the memories came flooding back and suddenly I have suffered anxiety ever since. I am not enjoying this pregnancy one bit as I am so scared of things repeating itself. I am currently 7 weeks 1 day and my symptoms have been virtually the same as last time (except for the odd wave of nausea which I never had last time). This time I am using 75mg Aspirin a day and my Gynae Consultant (seeing privately) has given me progesterone suppositories to help increase my hormone levels. I have been told if the issue is a chromosome one then none of this will help but right now I will do anything to stay pregnant.

I have a scan on Saturday 3rd March (private) and I am literally counting down the hours until it is here. I just don't know what I will do if they tell me bad news again. Can anyone else relate to this?

 

[Keeponhoping]

I can completely relate to this. My anxiety is through the roof. I've had 3 losses, last one being the worst as went to a scan at 11 weeks to be told baby had died at 10 weeks. Was absolutely devastating. I'm currently, well I hope I'm 9+5 unless something has happened which I don't yet know about. I'm the same, will never enjoy pregnancy again. Finding each hour, day and week so difficult. Every twinge, feeling of discharge sends me into a complete panic and I'm in the loo once again checking for blood.

I'm sorry to hear your story and what you have been through. X x

 

[Pearl81]

Thanks for your reply. But 3 losses!!!! And I thought I had it bad. How are you coping? After three did you ask for tests to be done? I'm not sure how many I have to wait for I am guessing it is three for most people. Did you feel different with each loss or were they worryingly similar? When are you having a scan done? Ive deliberately waited until 8 weeks to hope that I have got further than last time. Guess its harder for you as it happened later.

Sorry to hear about your tragic circumstances. Let's hope it is good news for both of us xxx

 

[Donna88]

So sorry to hear what you have both been through - no wonder you are so anxious.

I know it's easier said than done but try not to worry to much as it won't do you any good and you are doing everything you can to keep this bean safe and healthy. Wishing you all the luck in the world for your scan. I really hope this one sticks for you (the nausea sounds promising)

 

[Writergem]

Hi I too can totally relate.
We have had 6 IVF transfers. On transfer 2 (4 years ago) I got pregnant and to be honest I was anxious from word go because of all the fertility treatment. HB seen at 6 weeks but went for a private scan at 10 and baby had reabsorbed. Was the worst time of my life and I ended up with panic attacks and severe anxiety. We had lots of frozen embryos so continued with transfers. 3 transfers failed and then finally with the last 2 embryos I'm pregnant with a singleton.
Well, again I've been anxious, then at 5 weeks I bled brown followed by bright red at 6 weeks. Was convinced baby had died but turned out to be a blood clot. Saw baby again at 6.5 and all ok but simce then had more spotting (which they say is common with this clot) but even so I'm not convinced (at 7.6) that something bad has happened. My husband said we can go for a scan tomorrow if I want but I'm just terrified to. But I'm also terrified of not and miscarrying naturally (as if bad I'd rather have D&C) I'm sick of analysing symptoms (as they haven't been that strong.) So yeah I'm in the same situation and also on bedrest fpr clot so I have nothing to do but think x

 

[Pearl81]

So sorry to hear about this. Sounds like you have been to hell and back! Pregnancy is supposed to be the most natural thing in the world but for a small percentage of us it turns into a living a nightmare. I am lucky I didnt have to go down IVF. It was on the cards as with my age I couldnt wait much longer to conceive naturally. I got a double blow when told because I had a step son (who lives with mum 500 miles away) I am not allowed IVF on the NHS. Was stressing over saving the £8000 I needed for one cycle. Anyway that hasnt happened and I am hoping/praying this one will stick like you. I understand why you might not want a scan...its heartbreaking finding out the bad news.

Lets have all our fingers crossed for both of us xx

 

[netty]

Bless you hun I had a mmc my first time and here I am again with a bfp many years later ( different partner) it's absolutely terrifying massive hugs.
Lots of sticky dust for your scan xxx

 

[Pearl81]

Thanks hun. How far are you or have you just found out? It really takes away the excitement away seeing those two pink lines. Before I believed 2 lines = baby but I know that is not necessarily the case. A part of you just dies knowing your womb can become a tomb.

But that was last time....only hours to go now so must get some sleep. Good luck to you and your sticky bean. We must stay positive! New egg + new sperm = new hope xx

 

[netty]

Thanks hun. How far are you or have you just found out? It really takes away the excitement away seeing those two pink lines. Before I believed 2 lines = baby but I know that is not necessarily the case. A part of you just dies knowing your womb can become a tomb.

But that was last time....only hours to go now so must get some sleep. Good luck to you and your sticky bean. We must stay positive! New egg + new sperm = new hope xx

I'm only about 5/6 weeks. Trying to stay as positive as I can and not squander this time fretting! Best of luck lady x

 

[Writergem]

**UPDATE** 03/03/18

Had my scan today!!! Baby is alive measuring 17mm and I heard the healthy 162 bpm heart beat!! Baby is 8 weeks 2 days and my chances of a miscarriage now are 1%!!! I am the happiest girl alive!!!

**************************************************

I am sure I am not the only one who has ever been in this position before but I am simply terrified of experiencing a second missed miscarriage. I am 37 years of age and have been trying to conceive for 2 years now. After 18 months of TTC I finally got pregnant and was the happiest girl alive. I was so excited, planning baby names, thinking about changing cars, doing the bathroom up etc but then the worst thing happened...a missed miscarriage.

I initially went for a 6 week scan. I had a a scan and everything was ok. The foetus was the right size but there was no heart beat. They told me not to worry as was still a bit early and to come back in 2 weeks. Well, I was very reassured at this point. No bleeding, no pain so everything must be ok right? Wrong! I go back for another scan only to be told my baby died at 6 weeks (my last scan). Devastated does not come close to describing how I felt. I was told to rest for a week and come back again. When I went in I knew it was bad news...symptoms had lessened and I was prepared this time. They confirmed I had suffered a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks. I had a D&C the following week (still no signs of bleeding even 4 weeks after the baby died).

Well I wasn't going to give up and 4 months later I got pregnant again back in January this year. So am I happy? The moment I read it on the Clearblue stick yes - for about 3 seconds. Then the memories came flooding back and suddenly I have suffered anxiety ever since. I am not enjoying this pregnancy one bit as I am so scared of things repeating itself. I am currently 7 weeks 1 day and my symptoms have been virtually the same as last time (except for the odd wave of nausea which I never had last time). This time I am using 75mg Aspirin a day and my Gynae Consultant (seeing privately) has given me progesterone suppositories to help increase my hormone levels. I have been told if the issue is a chromosome one then none of this will help but right now I will do anything to stay pregnant.

I have a scan on Saturday 3rd March (private) and I am literally counting down the hours until it is here. I just don't know what I will do if they tell me bad news again. Can anyone else relate to this?

YES!!! 😘 xx