Teenage monsters!

[Pregnopaws]

I only just saw this thread now, didn't know it existed, but oh boy do i need it!

I have some major probs with my 15 year old (16 next month) son for a good while now. Mostly, communication is awful. Unfortunately he can be a very grumpy, grouchy, cheeky person, and knows just how to wind me up and press my buttons, and I find it hard not to answer back so we squabble and fight sometimes back and forth getting nowhere.

Occasionally I can sit and talk to him when he's in a placid mood and he is understanding and encouraging then, but then his moods change from day to day and sometimes you can hardly get him out of his bedroom. He's not interested in going anywhere as a family, (unless its to a game shop to buy a computer game!) and even though he's quite tolerant and does like my husband, he is indifferent to both of us most of the time and we more often than not, feel like slaves who feed and clothe him than anything else.

Now with baby number 2 on the way I'd really like him to buck up and show some more responsibility without putting too much pressure, as GCSE's are coming up soon and God knows, I dont want to make him even more indifferent. I've also tried getting him involved in different activities other than computer games and playing football with his friends (which I dont complain about as it gets him out of his room). That is really all he likes to do, we have never been able to get him interested in reading or anything creative.

I am really hoping that some of you mums out there with teens can relate to some of this and perhaps give me some tips/advice on how to deal with kids at this age!

 

[jayla's mummy]

this coming from a teenager. his just beinng a teenager hun! i was like that too. i think you just need to talk to each other and maybe met half.
and have you tried playing to computer wid him - most games r fun hun!
xnatx

 

[mary70]

hi hun my son was 16 in august and all of the above apply, we do everything for him but he says we do nothing, we give him everything but he gets nothing but then he is the best son anyone could ask for,i think its just teenagers and we have very short memories lol

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

Ah yes, that wonderful limbo age of not being a child anymore, but not quite an adult yet either, I remember it well

He is being a normal teenager, thats for sure. Sorry lol

Just think back to how you thought and felt at that age - you probably wanted to be treated like an adult, but also still wanted all the home comforts that come from being a child. Maybe you wanted your parents to leave you alone and give you space, but also wanted their undivided attention. Life at that age is all about contradictions and confusion.

I think the golden rule is to not to take ANYTHING personally, or as a slight on your parenting skills, and to remember that once these confusing few years are past and he matures a bit more you will see a whole new wonderful personality emerge, and your little boy will be a man, but always your son

As for practical advice, id suggest you give him his space (though obviously stick to your usual ground-rules) and dont try and force him to partake in things, invite him and say you would love it if he was there, but if he says no just leave it at that.

I love the suggestion of playing a computer game with him, you never know you might enjoy it and can make it a weekly "quality time" event