Struggling

[Rosieroo]

Hi

Well I thought that I would be open and honest on here, as I have been the voice of 'don't wean til 6 months!'.

I'm struggling with Ella's feeding during the day. She goes on for 5 mins every hour or so. Now I know that doesn't sound too bad, afterall it's only 5 mins. But it's getting on my nerves.

She's not *really* waking up in the night (she was up at 1am last night but I ignored her and she went back to sleep after a couple of mins, and three nights ago she was up at 11.15pm, 5am (ignored) and finally at 7am. But then the night before last she slept from 7.30pm til 7am.

I don't *want* to wean her now. I really really don't! I need some words of encouragement to get me through the next 5 weeks. I.E "It will pass, soon she'll be going 3 hourly" sounds fab

She is teething, so that's probably not helping.

Feeling like shit!

 

[Em78]

Aw hun sorry you're having a rough time.

i know we are opposite ends if the scale, i never fed on demand and i weaned alex at four months, but i really respect how you stick to your principles on how you want to raise your daughter. we as mothers all know whats best for our own babes and while routines work with alex thats no reason why they should work for all babies.

having said that have you tired making Ella go for longer periods between feeds? just wondered as i'm not sure when they recommend you stop demand feeding and start a routine?

it could be she is comfort feeding due to teething. Bless them, Al has been bad the last couple of days, really whiny and having to change his t shirts due to the huge dribble fest! he keeps trying to chomp on my boob during feeds like he does teething toys do use dummies? maybe a dummy if you do or a toy would work as well as a feed for comfort?

you are so close to the 6 months that i dont think it would hurt either way - wean her or leave her. doesnt hugely sound like signs of being ready to me but the its hard to compare as we have done everything so differently!

hope things improve - stick to your guns if thats what you believe is best hun, you know your lo best.


x

 

[michelle82]

aww hun i know you really want to stick to the 6 month thing but you have to think does she need to be weaned now ? what have your HVs said? if they think she is ok as she is and you can keep up with her then come on you can do it 5 weeks will fly by! think how quickly the past 4 months have gone!

 

[Lucy]

Hi Kina

As you know, I am also keen to try and wait until the 6 month mark before I wean Olivia BUT that's all very good for me to say that now when she's 14 wks old and weighing 12 lbs 4 oz! If I feel Olivia is ready for weaning and needing it earlier than 6 months then I will do it.

Does it help make her go longer between feeds if you go out?

Does Ella show any other signs of being ready? I know she's been having the carrot sticks etc - does she watch you and Matt eat?

If you're unsure whether she's really ready (it's probably her teeth waking her up during the night if she settles by herself without a feed) then wait another week, the weeks fly by so you'll reach 26 wks before you know it!

Lucy x

 

[emilia]

Dear Rosieroo...
I'm with you on this one, but I was defeated!! I had a similar problem - Oscar is one big boobie monster and I have been finding it UNBEARABLE at times... no matter how much I love doing it. I just couldn't stop - I enjoy it too much too.

I have made a deal with myself. Instead of starting solids at 6 months, I've started with little bits here and there. Oscar had some rice for a few days and then I stopped for nearly two weeks. Now I've started again with some cereal and I'm not commiting myself to a a definite solids "routine". Just if and when, really!

I think you've done remarkably well! I admire you so much, because when I had my first baby at 24, I didn't have so much knowledge as you have. You're passionate about your babies well-being. You're giving her the absolutely best start in life - give yourself a huge pat on the back!


So, my advice to you would be, take one day at a time. Get out for walks to reduce the endless feeding patterns. Only a few weeks and then you can start introducing rice. If you were to start a couple of weeks before Ella is 6 months, she'll really get the hang of food when she is 6 months.

I'll pm you soon. It's been very hectic here - Oscar being very hard work too!!!
love
Emilia xx

 

[beanie]

(((Kina))) I agree with Emilia. Seren was on the boob constantly and I was getting irritated by it but really did not want to stop. I started her on tastes of baby rice which she loved at first but now just spits out, same with banana. I then stopped giving her solids and we are just giving her tastes now and then. I am taking one day at a time, if she show signs of wanting more I will maybe think about reintroducing solids. She is nearly 5 months so I am pleased with myself for not giving in to pressure from my HV to start her on solids at 14 weeks

I think that it could also be for comfort too, I have noticed that whenever Seren is upset through pain or if I have been away from her she feeds nonstop. I have been working for 2 days and have been away from her and both nights she has woken up loads and wanted feeding. Today she has constantly been on the boob as well. In fact I can hear her grumbling again so I'd better go. Just wanted to say you are doing great, and Ella is lucky to have you for a mum.

Kina and Emilia, I will reply to your pms as soon as I can sorry

Em, they don't suggest an age to stop demand feeding. I know mums who are still demand feeding their 18 month olds, I guess it is a personal preference. I myself will be demand feeding for as long as she wants to breastfeed.

 

[Rosieroo]

Thank you all for your replies (((hugs)))

She does feed less if we are out and about - which is great - but that means going out every day. On a day as gross as today and with my hair as greasy as it is, that's a challenge!

I love breastfeeding her, I don't want to stop that at all. It's been nearly 2 hours since her last feed I didn't used to feed her this much when she was a newborn and was concerned if she only went 2 hours between feeds (can't believe that now!).

She will only feed for 5 mins unless she's sleepy. So it's not that much of a hassle time wise, it's just her behaviour inbetween feeds. I don't have a set nap time during the day, she just needs regular ones. So I will get a stroppy awake baby who wants a quick feed, happy baby for a bit, but then she quickly deterioates into tired and hungry again. I blamed this on her growth spurt a few weeks back, but it's been going on a while. She has been teething for nearly a month now (first one came through a while ago and 2nd one has broken through now).

One thing that's concerning me is the lack of poo. When she does only feed for a short while she tends to get upset like she needs a poo near the end of the feed and I have to cuddle her. But no poo When she does go it's still bf baby poo (i.e runny and not smelly), but she used to go several times a day. She hasn't been since Friday.

She's a decent size (inbetween the 75th and 91st centile). Maybe that's why she's hungry, and she's doing more.

I guess I should be patient with her and wait it out. But there's all the conflicting stuff going round my mind. My HV advises weaning at 16 weeks, so I haven't approached them regarding this and I know that if I talk to a BF counsellor they will say wait it out til 6 months.

 

[emilia]

I know what you mean about conflictiing advice, but I think we've all been blessed with a healthy mind to make up ourselves. You don't have to justify youself to anyone.... I just keep quiet and do what's right for my baby and me too.

My midwife did her nut when I told her that I had given Oscar some rice a few weeks back. Instead she suggested a top up formula feed in a spout cup..... in dream world yes..... Oscar will not take a bottle and is certainly not going to down 200ml of formula from a spout cup. I told her I would..... I tried, but to date, Oscar feeds so often. I don't think it has been normal actually. I seem to feed all the time - every bf website tells me it IS normal, but what do I do...... I do want a life too!!!

So, in an ideal world we can follow the rules and regulations, but in the real world, we can only but try.

Don't feel a failure if you choose to, or not to, feed Ella solids yet. You're doing so well and determination is your second name!!!! LOL

Emilia xx

 

[michelle82]

I cant believe they tell you 16 weeks we got told try to hang on for 6 months but the earliest you can start is 17 weeks?! bloody does my head in that they all have different advice i also think it depends on the HV circumstances. The girl at our clinic is young and doesnt have kids a friend of the family is a HV and she said when she first started doing it she went by the book on the advice she gave then after she had kids of her own she realised that most of it was b******t and started advising in line with her own experiences. I know that i wouldnt be able to advise people if i didnt have a bloody clue

 

[Layla]

hi hunny,

as you know i have had probs with Coby feeds lately too. I saw my HV today and got him re weighted, i tol dher what i was feeding him ( 5 bottles and 2 meals) and she said for a baby of 18 weeks and of his size that is just right.

I agree about the weaning, im not going to wean Coby till he is 6 months, but giving him extra soilds to fill him up and kee him happy im fine with.

you have done incredably well Rosie, i admire you and respect you so much for the way you have looked after Ella. but please dont feel defeated if you do choose to give her a little extra here and there.

its your desion at the end of the day and im sure you will do what you think is best for both of you.

just rmember, your not only a mum, your a person too, you need your time just as much as ella needs hers.

xxxx

 

[Lauz_1601]

I know we all have different opinions but all Im gonna say is if she is showing signs and she is hungry then maybe its time to introduce a bit of baby rice? Maybe wait a couple of weeks and see if the signs persist, if they do then try her with it. I know they say wait til 6months but all babies are different we shouldnt deny them what they need just because the HV says so. sorry if this has been said Iv not read the whole post properly

 

[beanie]

Before six months your baby doesn't actually need solids as their milk provides them with all the goodness they need. Its just that they need more of it hence the increased feeding and waking up hungrey. So you won't be harming Ella or denying her anything she needs. It is up to you as you are the one who is feeding her, if you are finding the once an hour tough then perhaps introduce extras but if you are ok with it then carry on. It is tiring I know, Seren has fed every hour today

 

[beanie]

Kina have found a great kellysmom link

 

[Rosieroo]

Thanks Beanie

I tried her tonight with some Hipp Organic apple and banana. In the space of an hour and 3 quarters she had a breastfeed, half a jar of food (which she wolfed down) and nearly 12oz of expressed milk. She's so hungry at the moment

She is teething, but not sure how long the frequent feeding will coincide with that.

Really really confused! Health wise for her it the advice would be to wait, she can't chew yet or sit unaided. I am struggling to keep up with her though. But I feel really guilty for giving her the food. DH is no help as I've told him all the info as to why you shouldn't give solids before 6 months so now he thinks that we should wait (though is ok about giving her some stuff).

This is a really hard decision for me.

 

[beanie]

As Ella is over 17 weeks (which is the absolute minimum age health workers are advising) I would say listen to your heart on this one. I'm taking each day as it comes.

 

[Rosieroo]

She's 21 weeks today.

My heart says don't do it!! I felt sick when I was in Tesco's looking at all the ingredients in the jars of food. Plus it says baby rice is made out of rice flour? I put that in shortbread!!

 

[emilia]

I agree with Beanie too... go with your heart. Ella sounds like Oscar... I gave him some organic carrots that I steamed tonight, and he wolved that down. Got very upset when it was finished. LOL

Like I said in post up there somewhere, we're quite willy nilly with it all. I feel Oscar is ready now and I'm taking it really slow. He's dictating and my sole mission, is to make it a happy and healthy experience.

Go and have a cuppa.... forget about researching anymore on the net or compairing notes with others..... relax your shoulders and think what suits you and Ella. I think you might even know the answer already.

Good luck and big hugs
EMilia xx

 

[beanie]

I felt sick when I was in Tesco's looking at all the ingredients in the jars of food. Plus it says baby rice is made out of rice flour? I put that in shortbread!!

Would you feel better if you made your own food. I was told that one of the best first foods was a mashed up banana as it is sweet like breastmilk. You don't need to bother with baby rice.

 

[Urchin]

Awww Kina, follow your heart...a mothers instinct is a very powerful thing....you've done great to get this far. You're a great mom, you will know when the time is right, be that this week, next week or not till she's 6 months

 

[Rosieroo]

Right - feel a lot better this morning. Have decided to take each day as it comes. If she's feeding every hour and I can't cope then I will give her a bit of solids, but if I am fine with it then I will just give her bm. Then when she gets to 6 months/a lot hungrier I will reassess and look at making solids into more of a routine.

Saying that I've only fed her twice since 7am, so will have to see how I feel at lunchtime!!