Stress & Trying To Conceive

[Miss M]

Anyone have any recommendations for stress relief?
I have very high stress levels which I‘m sure have a lot to do with my nine long years of TTC.

I have tried so many things throughout the years, from massage to aromatherapy to hypnotherapy but I’m now at the stage where if I get stressed, my hands shake and my heart races.

What doesn’t help, is the fact that I have the unfortunate problem of a mother-in-law from hell (really, you have no clue how bad this is), terrible neighbour problems which (touch wood) seem to have calmed somewhat in recent weeks and various other things which all have their impact.

I need to be able to combat this, but have no idea how. I feel I’ve exhausted all possibilities.

 

[Steelgoddess]

Oh hon im not surprised you feel so stressed about ttc, i can take a huge toll on you especially after such a long time

i know you tried a few things but have you tried accupunture? I have heard that this has been quite successful for some women in getting pregnant, its also known to alleveate stress so you may be killing two birds with one stone as they say...also do you see someone to talk about this? Seems like an awful amount of weight to carry on your shoulders...

I hope one day you will become pregnant and your venture will be overxxxx

 

[Miss M]

Thank you for the reply

No, I haven't tried acupuncture, that's a good idea, I think I'll look into it, as it's the only thing I can think that I haven't tried. I'd like to knock this stress thing on the head before I hit that ten year mark and feel even worse about things. I feel such a failure, it's just horrible.

I don't have anyone to talk to, no. My husband isn't the type you talk to, he never knows what to say. My own family are currently revelling in the baby my brother's girlfriend just had I've been told by my mother to either donate my eggs for a free IVF session, try Chinese medicine or the bluntest reply she ever gave to my situation, "Oh just adopt." I don't really have any friends either.
I sound really sad saying all of that, don't I?

Anyway, thank you again for replying and I will certainly look into acupuncture.

 

[hannah9000]

Hi, Maybe try councelling? It's obvious you have a lot on your plate and you know the saying...a problem shared blah blah..I had councelling when I was younger, it really does help to talk to a total stranger!

 

[Miss M]

I have tried councelling, in fact at one point I was doing nothing but seeing someone it seemed!
I saw someone as a teenager every week for ages, and that was free. They don't seem to offer such freebies where I live now, especially not for adults and it's not something I could really afford long term.

 

[Kittykins]

yoga's good. Plus you look better for it too! For stress relief, hatha yoga or one of its derivatives is best - there are other kinds, such as astanga or 'power' yoga, but sounds like that might be a bit much for you. Hatha yoga sends you to ... lots of gentle stretches, and concentrating on holding poses, focusing on breathing, and then you get a nice lie-down at the end of the session.

 

[libs]

I used to suffer very badly with stress a few years back. I had the tablets, had the time off work, tried the counselling (when you're stressed cos you have too much to do and think about - all you need is ANOTHER appointment to keep)

the only thing that worked was the day I decided not to get stressed anymore - honestly - I'm not being patronising

now I make a conscious decision not to get stressed about anything unless it's worth it.

I get it all off my chest (thanks PF ), decide what's important for me to worry about and let the rest go. I have severe neighbour problems (Crown court next month for one case) - this year I've had a mc, my parents are still doing the will we won't we get divorced thing, last week a woman decided to reverse into my stationary car and shout at me I've moved workplaces and got a new boss , my son has been mugged and punched in the face, my sister is being stalked by her abusive ex who has now added us to his hitlist, I've developed a painful and debilitating health condition that I can't take med for as I'm TTCing and I'm living in a half renovated house. And obviously I'm still not pregnant

and I feel fine I can happily shut everything out and collapse with my DH at night, I worry about things I can do something about right now and the rest - well it can just wait until I want to get back to it

 

[Miss M]

Kittykins I have considered yoga before, but have always been a little wary as I have a very weak lower back and didn't want to hurt myself doing it A class would be good, but there's nothing around these parts, the villagers prefer their pilates!

libs, my word, what a time you've had of things I know in part, my problem is I can't seem to switch things off, I become entirely focused on somthing, wanting a solution which evidently, isn't going to happen I always need some sort of closure on a matter which is eating away at me, like the MIL for example and unfortunately, that won't happen.

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

Miss M, have one of these cos I know exactly how bad stress can be, I had permanent high stress for years, untill I took the same approach as libs!

The thing with stress is you get used to it. You become accustomed to reacting in a certain way to certain situations, and once you are firmly locked in its grasp its very hard to get out.

But I, exactly like libs, one day decided enough was enough and I wasnt going to let stress rule my life anymore. I made a deal with myself to stop and ask myself 3 questions before reacting to anything - and they were; Is this situation under my control or not? Is this a situation where getting stressed will help? and....Do I WANT to feel stressed?

I found that answering those questions made me see the situation for exactly what it was, and I wouldn't get so stressed out about it. If the situation demanded action from me to resolve it then I could do so in a much more calm and productive way. And then.....after just a couple of weeks of this....I became used to dealing with things in that way instead of getting stressed, a new habit was formed, and I wasnt a person who suffered with stress anymore!!!

It does sound too simple to work, but the mind is a powerful tool and we can re-programme how we react to things simply by deciding too!

I hope you feel better soon

 

[Miss M]

Aww thank you I shall endeavour to give this a go.