So, so, so, so, so hard!!!

[Redshoes]

I just wanted to post this because I feel it must be said, and having not been a Mummy before I never knew, and no-one ever really told me how HARD being a Mummy can be sometimes!!!

Whilst pregnant I was at my happiest and calmest I've ever been in my life and was nothing but excited and upbeat about everything, but things since Isaac's birth have not all been rosey and lovely and awwww

I feel it's important to know that its OK to feel tired, stressed, angry, sad and down right peeved off after having a baby. I feel I've lied a lot to people I meet by saying I'm fine, by saying all's well, by saying I love my son so I'll be fine...

I've sat sobbing, wishing I could disappear, I've sat with my heart aching for love for my son, and I've not once wished him away, but have wished the pain, the sadness, the tiredness and the blooming rubbishy bits away, and then felt selfish for doing so.

Basically, I've been very low and felt very alone, and I think it's important that new Mummy's know it's normal sometimes to feel that, because whatever you feel is normal, you just have to speak to others about it and get support, having a baby is an amazing event, and after they've arrived the amazement doesn't stop, but there are factors which can cause bad things and feelings to arise.

So, BIG LOVE to all Mummy's, especially new Mummy's, because I personally feel it can be so very hard at times and I also know with support it can be got through to very good times

 

[lauramumof2]

I totally agree with all that. Its so weird. Its mentally tiring more than anything else. Your mind is constantly on the go.

 

[missac]

I completely agree with you, although I love my boy to bits there are times when it becomes hard, because lets face it nothing prepares you for the tiredness and the constant demands that a newborn puts on you, I have to say it gets better as the weeks go by, you become so much more in tune with them and know how to setlle them and know why they are crying.

It isn't easy, but then the best things in life aren't always easy, but sometimes it is all worth while when they look at you and give you the most heart melting smile that noone else can beat.

Thank you redshoes for making us all feel normalxxx

 

[valentine]

Eeeek - I really wish I hadn't read this thread!

I am as prepared as I think I can be for it being hard, but I also know that nothing I can do will REALLY prepare me for it. I guess I just have to take on board that most people feel the same and I will definitely not be alone!

RedShoes - to you - I hope it gets easier for you really soon.

Love

Valentine xxx

 

[sam96031]

just wanted to say i think that this thread was a great help, i felt i was the onlyone who felt like that especially when im home alone with LO i dont think DH knows how i feel sometimes so thanx

 

[LucyBee]

Thank you redshoes for making us all feel normalxxx

Here here!

You know I feel the same way Amy!
Keep your chin up and I'm always here if you want a chat.
Lucyx

 

[Hellokitty]

Couldn't agree more redshoes!

 

[rusks]

bless you very true words.

the first 3 months is especially hard. i am loving it now although there is still moments when its not easy.

 

[mummykay]

I found the first couple of weeks soooooooooooooo hard, all I could think of was that Id ruined my life cos I had a screaming baby attached to my hip but I was determined not to let my mum be right when she said I would be a 'useless mother' and I hope to God Iv proved her wrong!!!

 

[missac]

I found the first couple of weeks soooooooooooooo hard, all I could think of was that Id ruined my life cos I had a screaming baby attached to my hip but I was determined not to let my mum be right when she said I would be a 'useless mother' and I hope to God Iv proved her wrong!!!

you've proved her totally wrong times a million!

 

[lauramumof2]

When I had Jess I felt really bad, like the world was ending and things would never be the same. But it passed and was baby blues. So when i had Joe and it started again, i tried to push the feelings to the rear because I knew they werent real and that wasnt how I really felt.

Knowing that its just a phase that will pass helped a lot.

 

[Flame]

Yup all very true! I have had a bit of an issue with my little man crying and not being able to settle him and it is really helpful talking to someone about how i feel etc. The people on here are really good to talk to but i have to thank one of you in particular and thats Jano cause she has been great

 

[Rubys mummy]

I found the first 6 weeks awful, I was so low and didnt know what had hit me-I didnt feel an overwhelming obsession with Ruby, and felt bad about it...she cried all the time too which I couldnt deal with.

It gradually got better, I got support on here, and from my amazing family and friends, and also anti depressants. After a few weeks, I ws a different person.

I now am obsessed with my little girl-I spent weeks just lying next to her on a rug playing with her, getting to know her and gradually I was no longer frightened of being her mummy and believed in myself and my abilities.

I now have a very happy contented daughter who everyone comments on-they say she is like a different baby and I am so proud of her, and myself. We are best buddies

Much love and big hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[mummykay]

I found the first couple of weeks soooooooooooooo hard, all I could think of was that Id ruined my life cos I had a screaming baby attached to my hip but I was determined not to let my mum be right when she said I would be a 'useless mother' and I hope to God Iv proved her wrong!!!

you've proved her totally wrong times a million!

thanks M, makes me feel loved!!

 

[Foxxi]

Oh the joy of whats to come!

for you all!

 

[Oliver's mummy]

I found the first couple of weeks soooooooooooooo hard, all I could think of was that Id ruined my life cos I had a screaming baby attached to my hip but I was determined not to let my mum be right when she said I would be a 'useless mother' and I hope to God Iv proved her wrong!!!

SO CANT BELIEVE YOUR MUM SAID THAT THATS AWFUL.

YOUR A FAB MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Eveadel]

I so agree, it has been the hardest thing Ive ever done in my life. It is alot easier now though.

 

[Redshoes]

Just wanted to say its lovely to read I am not alone on here
And I never meant to 'scare' any mummies to be valentine I just wanted to feel normal despite it not all being wonderful after having a beautiful baby and thankyou for the support Lucybee, you're a lovely lady indeed
Great to hear other mummies got the support they needed and I would agree it definitely gets easier, the good days more frequent, the bad days less frequent, and yes I'd do it all again hehe

BIG hugs

 

[mermaid]

I could have written this today with the way i feel. My lo is 6 months and i still feel rubbish as a mum sometimes. I still struggle with the 2 hour night feeding. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

 

[Alfiesmummy]

i found it to be the other way round if im honest. When Alfie was first born i didnt find it all that hard he was so settled and would eat alotthen just sleep all he ever cried for was food, he would only wake 2/3 times a night and that was it ... however i found that once he had been in hospital poorly at 9 weeks my world turned upside down he was incredably unsettled very clingy and was constantly crying, there were times i would sit and sob.
from that period till alfie hit about 8 months old i struggled with his clinginess and his constant crying i would look at other peoples happy contented babies and think what am i doing wrong surely im doing something wrong.
all became evident once he cut his first tooth and became a wonderfully happy little man.
he is still very high maintenance but iv relaxed my attitude towards it, i,.e feeding etc i would get so stressed thinking he was having too much or not enough etc etc and i would get really stressed which we all know adds to the problems.
i have to say the hard times do get better and that they occur at all ages, i think we just have to roll with the punches.
the hard times the heartache the worry and the stress are all worth the wonderful little people they turn into, the personalities they develop and nothing ever beats the time they show pure love and effection for you. Alfies always been very loving but i have to say of all the people who supported me during my breakup it was alfie, he was always there with a hug or a kiss or a smile. i was sitting outside the one day with my back towards him tearfull and he did nothing other than pull himself up on my back grab my head turned it and planted a big smacker on my mouth, truly amazing.
so ladies the hard times are all worth it. Keep smiling ladies this is all what we wanted and my we are blessed.