So many decisions - getting me down :(

[mdsremos]

This is my second pregnancy and I have so many things to decide that I feel really down about it all!!

I have a beautiful DS who is now four years old and had quite an eventful pregnancy with him ranging from SPD from 26 weeks, carpel tunnel in both wrists, pre-eclampsia from 33 weeks which resulted in a number of admissions for monitoring and then eventually going into natural labour and having an emergency section after a 20 hour labour on his due date as he was back to back, got stuck then I developed chest pains so had to be rushed to theatre! I tried to breastfeed him but after 4 days I gave up as it was agony and my milk didnt come in which they think was from a traumatic birth.

I am in turmoil as I want to try a VBAC this time which is encouraged by the hospital but concerned about doing 20 hours again for things to go wrong, my SPD had started to kick in now at nearly 17 weeks so that has really depressed me, I am on my 3rd water infection which is not great news and I want to consider breastfeeding but worried it wont work out and how difficult it can be to establish and want my DH to be involved in everything as much as possible but these are decisions I think I can only make.

• If I had a section I would know when baby would be born so could plan ahead (especially as due near Xmas), would not have to go through the stress of labour and would be able to manage better as know what to expect and once up and about would be able to care for newborn...however, 6 weeks without driving would put strain on us as I couldnt take DS to nursery (although off over xmas period), would be in hospital for longer and probably need alot more pain relief to begin with. I feel it would be like cheating and an easy option
• Natural labour would be as and when, would only be allowed one week overdue so before xmas, could result in a section anyway if things went pear shaped again, risk of tears so again could mean longer stay and pain relief however could be a managed labour with minimal complications (although I will be hooked up during the whole thing as risk of scar rupture) and out the very next day.
• As for breastfeeding, I am so concerned that my milk may not come in again which meant I had to spend longer in hospital until things were established or I changed to formula which happened last time. Plus the thought I demand feeding every 1-2 hours in the early weeks makes me think that I would be so knackered I wouldnt enjoy being a new mum and wouldnt be fair on DS and DH to not be as involved...however, the health benefits are huge for both me and new baby and I feel so selfish over this one but dont know what to do for the best.

So sorry for the long post but I just needed to get that off my chest even though I still dont know what I am going to do. In relation to an elective section, I have told the consultant that if I end up with pre-eclampsia again or back to back positioned baby then I will opt for the section otherwise a VBAC but very open to an epidural which would make things more straightforward for a section if needed

 

[all_iz_well]

hun i totally understand what your going through. Last year i had an emergency c section with my son...after me not coping well with the induction, i was induced at 38 weeks because of my lupus. They delayed the c section that resulted in my LO passing away 40 hours after birth. Now im pregnant again i am a little apprehensive but we are definetly going for a planned c section. Like you said you can plan it ahead and its not as nerve racking. Keep in close contact with your midwife and plan everything. Put your health first and you are not taking the easy option, this is about whats best for you and the baby.
regarding breastfeeding it is not necessary that you will experience the same problems. Discuss your issues with the MW and try and get some answers...try not to stress about things...and takecare of yourself any more help just ask xx