Post stress due to toddlers convultion :(

[Mummy to one]

Hi all,

Okay so this might be a long post but please I you have time bear with me because I really could do with some mummy's advise.

I have a 2 year old son who I love more than life it self! I am no longer with his dad due to the fact he was abusive but that's a whole different story. About a year ago when my son was only one he became pretty ill. The first we new about it was one day he was sitting on the couch with me when he just went blue... He was not particularly hot and in fact I had just taken his temperature a few minutes before and he was totally fine. Within minutes he went blue, limp and started twitching... My world fell to bits then and there I thought he was going to die I have never been so scared in my whole life we had to call 999 who rushed him to hospital. It turned out his temp has rocketed to over 40 degrees which caused him
To fit..I had no idea that's what was happening at the time I didnt think he could breath or anything. After a few days he was let out hospital where he became unwell again which resulted in us calling 999 and him ending up in
Resuscitation. My tiny helpless baby and I could do nothing for him! He was diagnosed with hand foot and mouth disease not long after but recovered quickly. It turns out some children are very prone to fits which are cause by temperatures raising which is what happens to my son. We have learned that he can not control his temp so when he gets anything from a cough or a cold his temperature shoots up and he ends up in hospital, thankfully due to the fact we know how to control it slightly better it has never been as bad as that first time thank god!

Anyway the reason for me telling you all this is I just can't get over it. I know he's ok and I just have to make sure to keep an eye on him however I'm suffering from
Serious anxiety which I just can't stop. Even when he's not ill I worry because I feel that I need to be prepaired so it's not as scary for when it happens. I worry on a daily basis and I literally can't sleep and even when I do am
Not in deep sleep because i think he's going to get up in the middle of the night and it scares me to death. My son has never been good at sleeping and he is really bad at the moment... I know that when he crys providing he is ok he needs to learn to be left ( as he's so used to me giving in and getting him) but after 5/10 minutes I end up getting him up, so much so that I have me and my partner have no time to ourself, by the time he is I'm
Bed it's time for us to go to bed and he is up most nights which I end up sleeping on the couch with him sleeping.

He has full control of me because am so scared to leave him or put him back to bed incase he gets stressed out and his temp rises and he gets ill. We have no routine what's so ever and I can't get him back into one because of my anxiety of him being I'll.

I must emphasis that this has no impact on my son he has an amazing life and is very well looked after but I'm wrecking my life with the worry I go through. I live around 8 hours from my closest family so although they are there for me I can't see anyone when I worry, my partner is there for me however he wasn't there when everything happened so he can't begin to imagine what it was like and I also do go on about it a lot so it does start to annoy him
A bit. I am seeing a councillor however I can't get an appointment for 4 weeks so I am just looking for advice on sleeping or if anyone can make me feel better. I know it's crazy and I need to relax but that's easier said than done as I can't bare the thought of anything ever happening to my baby so I just can't calm down. He will grow out of it but not for a good few years yet.

Thank you for any tips or a Advice on how to getting any form of routine back in my life
Charlotte xx

 

[Becky1]

Hi Charlotte. What an awful thing for you and your little man to go through. A similar thing happened to a friend of mine, her little boys temp spiked and he had a fit, turns out he had a throat infection. She too was anxious afterwards and has slept on a single bed in his room since.

In terms of getting some routine in your life maybe just take one step at a time. How is bedtime? Does he go down ok and at the same time? When he cries in the night what about just sitting with him shhh-ing and patting/stroking him? I find this works really well for my lo, he also likes me to sing! I try not to make eye contact or talk to him as that just gets him excited and makes him think it's getting up time.

Glad that you are getting help - even if it is 4 weeks away. You certainly aren't the only person who would feel this way if they'd been through what you have.

Big hugs xxxx

 

[Mummy to one]

Hi becky,

Thank you very much for your kind reply! It really helps just to hear other peoples thoughts.

Things in our house hold have change a lot in the last few weeks I was made redundant the week before Christmas so can no longer afford to send me son to nursery which is a massive change for him.. It means he is with me full time now and although I love spending being with him I think we both could do with our own time to. This has changed our routine a lot.

Up until last week my son would go to bed perfectly... His bed time was around 8 and we had a routine which we did every night and worked for us. The problems came between 2-5am, he will always wake up crying and although there is usally nothing wrong with him he knows I will sleep on the couch with him and give him milk. If he doesn't get milk or I try to put him back to bed he screams the house down which brings me back to my anxiety because I can't leave him crying incase he over heats so I end up getting him up. Even when I do get him up I literally some times make my self sick with worry because I'm scared he's up because he's coming down with something. . This is when there's not even anything wrong with him as well I just panic at the though of it because I have went through so any sleepless nights with him burning up and in pain.

Things changed last week and for 4 days he slept through the night. But started about 3 nights ago he now won't go down to bed and gets up during the night around 2 times. Trying to get him to bed is a nightmare.. He screams the house down... After ignoring him for a little while and going in and out trying to reassure him I give up and get him up because I'm terrified yet again of him over heating until he is so exhausted he literally passes out with tieredness.

I'm then left scared to go to bed because of the thought of him
Getting up and being ill.

I think the only way I'm ever going to be able to sort his routine is if I can get this anxiety under control however I just don't know how I can cope 4 weeks I've dealt with it for a year now and it's becoming worse and worse.



Thanks again

Charlotte

 

[T84]

Hi Charlotte. We are going through a similar thing. My daughter had her first seizure in oct at 7 months and they have been happening since then both with illness and without. We are currently going through more tests now as MRI, lumbar puncture and EEG are clear.

Im a very anxious person and was driving myself insane constantly worrying about her. I'm always worse straight after one but over a few days relax a bit more. Coming to the conclusion that I can't control them has helped in a way and I just pray that I'm always around when they happen. We were told that the risk of them happening at night in their sleep are low.

You defo need to see someone for some help hon. Have you spoken to any kind of neurologist to ease you fears? We have an assigned epilepsy nurse who has helped to no end.

 

[Sprout]

I haven't any experience of this but it sounds just awful...would you be able to agree with your partner taking full responsibility for your son for a couple of nights a week so that you can try to concentrate on sleeping? I realise that's not going to magically ease your worries but it might help to know that you wouldn't need to be the one constantly listening out for him and going to him if he cries?

I think it's important to be able to talk about the experience when you need to, whether it annoys your partner or not...are you able to contact your family in other ways? If you're not able to talk to anyone, perhaps it could help to write your feelings down, as silly as that might sound.

I hope things get better for you.

 

[HL28]

Don't know if this is helpful at all. But my daughter has had random episodes at night mainly (won't go in to detail) but I am only happy and able to sleep because we use the angle care mat! I have it beeping all night and will prob use it for as long as I can and hoping it'll work on her toddler bed and possibly even a single bed eventually! It definitely reassures me and helps me sleep! Xxx