pnd???

[lisas_lil_girl]

hi ladies a bit of advice 4 me plse,

i've been depressed since my ex left me wen i was 6 months pregnant. but i never thought i could b pnd until 2day. have made loads of dr's appointments but have chickened out each time it comes to go because im scared theyll think im nogood!!!

i love my littele girl to pieces n i couldnt b without her, shes ust the best.

her dad still comes to my house to c her. we sometimes go out for the day together. the trouble is his new girlfriend aswell as me trying to get over him. he spends 2 hours a day or every other day with y little girl, i dont feel its enough and always feel hes in a rush to get bck to her.

his girlfriend has told ppl that all im after is his money!!!! ha ha!! hes only given me 130 quid in the last 18 weeks!!! hhhmmm. well anyway hes told me how hes unhappy with her etc etc n he still loves me. also lots of faulse promises! so ive been quiet down recently then ive found out (guessed) his gf was pregnant and i just cant get over it and cant come to terms with it i cant stop getting angry, annoyed and v v v emotional. he told me a few times in the last few days how ive got a big belly and wen we went shoppin today i picked up some choc and he made some comment and made me feel like i shouldnt have it - his excuse would b he was only joking. i have dropped down to a 14 wen i was a 16 b4 i was pregnant and although ive felt good about my weights loss i now feel so crap!!!! i lost 2 n half stone in 5 weeks but now i still feel like shi*

tonight i wa looking at my beautiful girl and was about to bath her and i couldnt get the strength to pick her up, i did in the end but i found i burst in2 tears 4 nothing, i cause rows with him 4 nothing and i feel like im to blame 4 everything going wrong in my life and his! i also feel so bad on my baby girl but tonight was the first nightive ever been like this towards her. shes in my arms now n i love her so much

but im so scared to go to the dr's, what do u think im i being stupid or should i go to the dr's? x

 

[samandbump]

first of all

well done with the weight loss you have done great, ignore him on that one w****r,

secondly dont be afraid to see your gp they are used to dealing with depression and will really help you, i finally old my HV how i have been feeling today and she was wonderful, i am off to my gp in the next few days, you sound like you are doing a great job as a single mum i cant imagine how difficult it must be for you, good luck with going to youre gp and lots of

 

[lisas_lil_girl]

aahhh thank u very much, wished it would sink in but it doesnt.

cant approach my hv, shes an old dragon and tried to avoid me if she can. wen i go to baby clinic to get libbie wieghed she almost pushes me to the hv assistant. makes me feel like im either butt ugly or really scarey as she looks down her nose at me and has mad me feel like a bad mother in the past!!

but thanks for the tips ill see if i can pluck up the courage to make a drs appointment tomorow, but then ill have to wait 2 weeks to go see her!

lifes so crap sometimes!! xx

 

[annem]

 

[lisas_lil_girl]

thanks x

 

[Squiglet]

first of all.... and see your gp hun, they will applaud your courage on coming forward with this.

Second, in your first post you say he's you ex, yet he still seems to be playing the bf role. This is currently impacting your life in a negative way because its almost like he's got 2 gf's and you're the one on the side despite being the first there.

I'm sorry, but you are always going to feel like crap as long as he is part of you life as much as he is...because its obvious that he's bad for you. He did a massive favour to you by dumping you because he's just a manipulator!!!!

He dumped you... he lost the right to criticize what you eat and look like, and if he really "loved" you like he says he does roll he'd never say that...

You need him out of your life... his relationship with his daughter is completely different from yours with him. Stop going out as a family...you're not a family unit anymore...he decided that...not you. Don't let him manipulate you with comments about how he loves you.. Don't discuss his new gf... thats his life and you have no part in it...your conversations should only surround your daughter.

Once you cut all ties you will be free to move on, and you will feel much stronger for doing so. I had a similar situation with my ex but once I cut all ties of our relationship between him and me, I felt wonderful. I was a much stronger and independent woman, and for once I felt good about my self.

Oh... and 2 stone in 5weeks thats bloody amazing... Don't let him cheapen that amazing achievement... remember...his loss is definitely your gain...

 

[lisas_lil_girl]

cheers, i try to get him out my life but everytime i say take libbie etc he goes into one, moaning etc and we end up rowing and im the one who always gets all the hurtful comments like I have to grow up etc! he tells me off his own back about his gf i never ask any questions i try to b blunt with my answers when he asks me questions to make him realise it upsets me! but that doesnt work. he sed last week he wouldnt talk about her no more, and suprise suprise he told me how big shes getting with her pregnancy and asked me about painkillers through preganancy!

hes always made comments about me as we both put on about 2 stone wen we were together. but has always said thta he was joking and can not take a joke?!!!!!! my previous bf b4 him used to say i was fat ugly etc all the time!! so i start believing it! i wished he would take her for his time although its not what i want but i dont feel i can move on with him in my life.

he used to b such a caring considerate bloke, someone to make allot of ppl jealous with, now hes just a mixed up pain in the ars* who i had to tred on eggshells around but now i dont bother and i dont think he likes that!!

fed up with the hole mess! x

 

[lisas_lil_girl]

ive made an appointment - next thursday hope i can luck up the courage to go!!! xxx

 

[samandbump]

WELLLLL DONE YOU!!!!!
you can do it, let us know how you get on if you want too xxxx

 

[lisas_lil_girl]

thanks, i will, spoke to his mum today and shes gunna suggest to him that he start to take libie now. i managed to do most of the talking throu text and planned to text him again tonight but he rang me at 7!!!!
hes coming tomorrow so i can just feel that ill feel like crap tomorrow but hopefully it will all b over soon!!!!!!!!!! xx

 

[lisas_lil_girl]

he came round to see lib's today and although he wasnt very happy at first he went home happy and we had a laugh and got on well like normal today, made me much much much happier!!!!!!

phew keep ur fingers crossed 4 tomorrow!!!!

 

[lisas_lil_girl]

right been to the doctors today..... its not pnd!! yay! but i do havee depression. but im sorted for the time being although i felt really good today!!! but i still went. have been put on anti depressants but i took half as she told me to and i felt like id had a skinful!! was all dizzy and took me about half hour to put lib in her baby grow as i had to keep lying down! i feel ok now thou. is this normal?? does anyone know?? xx

 

[leckershell]

not taken antidepressants before, but have had pnd and depression. just wanted to say well done for sticking with the appointment, well done for the weight loss, and i hope you're ignoring the negative vibes off the ex, he's no good for you hun. just, congrats, cos it's a big and hard step to take xxx