Please help...tantrums really getting to me!

[KJL]

Layla is nearly 1 and has recently starting throwing the most evil tantrums She's actually having one right now! How do I deal with this? I am very calm and patient but it's really really started to get to me. She just goes ridgid and screams blue murder! She does it often when she's tired, like now she needs to go down for a nap as she's exhausted but is going mental. I tried comforting her and she screams more, throws things at me (dummy, bottle...anything within range!). I have tried distracting her but this often doesn't work. She does it when we're out, if she doesn't want to be in her buggy, a highchair or wants a bottle (something we're desperately trying to cut down on). So...do I ignore her? My sister was a big tanrumer and my mum said I have to ignore it. It's so hard and she really can screams for over an hour if she feels like it!

I've walked out the room and put her in her play pen as I just needed "timeout" as I was getting really anxious and upset myself. Do I leave her to scream it out....help????!!!

.....gonna throw a wobbly myself soon

 

[Babylicious]

One word Ignore, it does work (its hard when they are really going for it though I know, Harrisons just as bad he even comes over the hit or bite us when he can't have his own way)

Nothing wrong with putting them in a travel cot either, it's totally safe and you shouldn't feel bad

 

[valentine]

My DD has recently started having tantrums and 'buckarooing' (as we call it), out of her highchair, car seat (into the footwell if its while being strapped in), our arms etc. Its driving me batty and very tiring with me being 5 months pregnant and really wanting the easy life!

She's a grumpy mare with teeth and aftereffects of MMR just now and I'm not sure if its connected, but she's normally such a happy wee thing, that I am HATING this stage!

I am trying to ignore, but finding it very hard. She often hurts herself by chucking herself backwards and hitting her head on the wooden floor/table/bookcase/etc, which then makes her inconsolable. She's also got a habit of sitting down on the pavement when she's fed up walking and I have to carry her, bump and shopping to the car/home etc - it's not usually far but VERY tiring!

I totally sympathise - I was at my friend's today who has a 2 year old and a 4 year old and they are both still tantrumming so I don't think it gets much better either, I'm sorry to say! At least if she was older, I could introduce a 'naughty corner', I don't think she'd understand the concept yet.

Grrrrrrrr

Valentine Xxx

 

[maybebaby]

Unfortunately it'll get worse before it gets better! ds1's awful if he doesn't get his own way.

If you can catch it in time you may be able to distract her before she starts screaming. Even just shouting 'what's that!?!' and pointing at the wall can throw her enough to make her forget to scream

You have to be consistent. It's hard but whatever you do DON'T GIVE IN. If she screams for say an hour and then you give in she'll think that'll happen every time. Ignore it, then when she calms down give her a big cuddle. Hopefully the tantrums will get shorter as she learns there's no point to them. Obviously they don't go completely but ds1rarely tantrums for more than 5 minutes now - he's never go this own way because of a tantrum.

Also, if it happens in public you can feel really embarrassed like everyone's judging you, so you're more likely to give in, but most people have been there before (it's generally childless people who give you dirty looks and I just ignored them) so will understand that all toddlers have tantrums.

If you start feeling angry make sure she's somewhere safe (like the playpen) and go outside and have a deep breath. Try to remind yourself that she's only a baby and doesn't have any other way of expressing herself so she'll be getting really frustrated. I found that I would be taking it personally but it never is

Good luck, it does get better.

 

[Lola's Mummy]

I would also say try your best to ignore it

Your LO is maybe too young for this yet but we have a naughty spot for Lola in the dining room so she can have some time out. It seems to be working well for us if we're at home. She knows exactly where it is and i only have to tell her she's been very naughty and she needs to go and sit and think about what she's doing. She'll then go into the dining room and sit in the naughty spot until i say she can get up Sometimes if she's having a really bad one i will have to take her to it but it still works! This is how i managed to stop her biting people aswell

The only thing is this doesn't work when we're out. I normally just ignore her or tell her she's being a very naughty girl. It's quite hard though when people are staring because your child is screaming as loud as she can because she can't have her own way

 

[KJL]

I am trying to ignore, but finding it very hard. She often hurts herself by chucking herself backwards and hitting her head on the wooden floor/table/bookcase/etc, which then makes her inconsolable.

I know this too well! Layla flings herself backwards and bangs her head too...then gets even more hysterical because she's hurt herself!

Thanks ladies, she cried for 30mins then went to sleep! She woke up in a much better mood thank god! I know I'll have to keep perservering and remembering that I'm not the only mother whose child can throw such giant tantrums
It's so hard not to give in in public as people give u such looks! I feel like screaming at them all....aghhhhhhhh

 

[Redshoes]

Ignore her You are not alone, leaving her to cry it out will help her learn how to deal with her emotions too. Some children are more likely to act this way than others too, so it can be easier for some to talk to their child and get a positive response quickly, we can sometimes do this with Isaac, but you'll know yourself sometimes there's a point they reach where you know you aren't going to get through to them, so ignore it until she calms down, deep breaths, good luck and best wishes

 

[Magic Monkey]

TBH most parents will probably judge you more for giving into a tantrum as they have all been there and will be sympathising more than anything else!