Pissed off after consultant's appointment

[Fly]

God they do my nut in massively!!!

So I went to the RUH today in Bath to meet a consultant...
They want me to have the baby in the RUH despite me saying right from the off that I don't want to have the baby in the RUH...
his reasons are:
1. My previous c-section scar requires close monitoring to make sure it doesn't pop open - erm BOLLOCKS!
2. My raised BMI means I need closer monitoring cos of?! - erm BOLLOCKS!
3. He's predicted a 40% risk factor of me needing a transfer to the RUH even if I do start off here in Frome - erm SO Fekking WHAT! that means there is a 60% chance of me not having to go anywhere near the sodding place...

oh yeah and

4. It might be traumatic for me and the staff (had to stop myself from saying ""with all due respect i don't give a flying F*** about ya staff mate!!!") if I do need transferring...

Goddddddddd

He tried to guilt trip me for refusing the GTT but i wasn't having a bar of it... i kept saying.. look i was 2 stone heavier when i had my son ten years ago and nobody gave a shit about my BMI!!!
Then he was going on and on about "risks"
As far as I am concerned I am NOT at risk of anything...there is NO sign of pre-eclampsia whatsoever! I've managed to monitor my diet so i have gained less than a stone and a half through the entire pregnancy which I am pretty bloomin proud of meself for actually! Baby is head down - teh midwife wrote ROA in the lie box which I know means that the baby is lying vertically but not sure what the R and the A means? does that mean he's on my right cos this is where she found his heart beat?? what does the A mean does anyone know?

I kept thinking about this forum whilst i was talking to him and actually gave some of you as examples of GTT being a fairly inconclusive test and also of the whole BMI thing... Sherry if you read this hun I had you in my head the whole time I was having to be assertive with this consultant!!

Mum has gone home now and OH has gone out... I'm pissed off now! I knew it was gonna be a bit of a battle but why do they try and fill your head with how "risky" things might be unless you do it their way ffs???? hate 'em all i really do! I have yet to meet a consultant who wasn't a patronising twonk and this one was apparantley the most approachable in the hospital

Anyways I have put my foot down! I have told him that I won't be stubborn and will take my midwive's advice on it all - the GTT, the location to have my baby - the whole lot... i even told him i'd go into the unit early in the labour so they can monitor me more closely and send me into Bath without blue flashing lights if they thought that was where I should be... but am SOOOOO fekkin pissed off!!!!!

My plan in my head is unchanged... provided bubs is in a good position and it all goes off normally then i will stay at home til the gaps are gettin towards being too short for me to get downstairs so every 3 minutes or so - n then i shall go into the midwife unit where I know all the midwives are really eager and keen for me to have a really untraumatic birthing experience If when we get there they tell me that they want me to see the consultant then into Bath we will go... he said

"oh in our experience it takes at least an hour to transfer from Frome" wtf? its a twenty minute drive with a woman in labour - i know cos i did it earlier in the year when my friend was in labour...

WHY do they treat us like we are fekkin stupid?!?!

and I know they are just doing their jobs but its like they try and strip your empowerment before you even get a chance to utilise it ffs!!!!!

Anyways i am sorry this isn't a very positive post but am actually really bloomin angry about the whole birthing industry in general today! Tis a good job me mum n Lee was there cos i would've told him to shove his soddin risk percentages where the sun don't shine

I AM gonna do this MY way!!!!

 

[aramintalovegrove]

First have some of these

I understand your frustrations, I had a GTT they lost the results and brushed it away saying it didnt really matter why the hell did you do it in the first place then!!!

Do what you feel is right for you and LO, and keep strong.

 

[dannii87]

Aww hun! That wasn't a very positive appointment..

I think the A means Anterior - Don't ask me what Anterior means though! lol

I hope you manage to get the birth YOU want. I know it's their job to advise, but someone said something once which is true - A lot of them only give you MEDICAL advice & opinion with the negatives, they rarely say "but there is a higher chance of everything being fine so you do what you feel best".

Oh, just seen that he's male Says it all! lol

Have a hug, or 5 xxx

 

[Fly]

Thankyou both for them hugs am so glad i am a member here - I've learnt so much from all you ladies about various bits n bobs that i felt really confident and intelligent and strong when i was in the appointment - and I know the midwives are really wanting me to have the baby in Frome which helps also, cos i was able to tell him that with confidence

 

[dannii87]

Awww, I'm glad you're a member on here too

It's your body & your baby. Unless there is a very high risk for you & baby and something terrible could potentially happen, then you are well within your rights to choose the delivery YOU want!

At the end of the day, he'll probably forget about you after seeing a few more patients, yet you've left the appt feeling shot down and upset Don't let them get to you hun. xx

 

[Fly]

Aye thats very true what you say Danni bout him forgettin all about me but me lettin meself stay annoyed.. am gonna go do the washing up n take it out on the scourer i think LOL! Thanks honey xxxx

 

[NickyB]

Aww

ROA I think means Right Occiput Anterior, occiput is the back of the head, meaning LO's back of head is at the front, facing your posterior.

 

[NickyB]

 

[Fly]

Thankyou honey thats a brilliant picture ahhhh good little baby - all the bouncing on me adult sized spacehopper seems to be doing the trick eh lets hope he stays there now!! hehe

 

[x Naomi x]

Hiya hun, just wondered why your so against a GTT? its just that in my experience - higher BMI, but hardly any weight gain during 1st and 2nd tri, i was very surprised to find that i have gestational diabetes it crept up very quickly with me, was fine at 24 weeks - detected at 28 weeks and now i am having an induction at 37 weeks as baby is nearly 10lbs already,

I understand you dont want the intervention etc but sometimes its needed,

Just to add though they did detect glucose in my urine at the same time as the GTT so that should give them a good indicator anyway

I have gone from wanting to have a home birth to ending up with as much intervention as possible, just be prepared for change

 

[Fly]

Well what it is hun.. i was booked in for the GTT and got up at the crack of dawn to go up the unit for the tests.. but that morning I had really really bad heart burn so rather than have gaviscon i figured it would be better to have a mouthful of milk instead.. course bein the dozy moo I am, when i phoned the unit to check it was ok to go in for the test, they asked me if i had had nil by mouth and i mentioned the mouthful of milk well that was it then... I was told that even a small mouthful of milk could mess the readings up and i'd have to rebook so i discussed it all with the midwife at the next appointment and they agreed with my decision to decline at that stage cos my urine was absolutely fine...
I'm booked in for a growth scan at 35 weeks anyways so they can check to see if the baby is gettin big then.. its not that i am against intervention but in all honesty i really couldn't be arsed goin through the whole fast thing again and as my mum pointed out to me.. i can go to Lloyds chemist and have a finger prick test if am worried.. i've been told what to watch out for symptoms wise and have promised the consultant that if they pick up glucose on my next dip test then i will of course have the GTT

 

[x Naomi x]

ah i see, similar thing happened when i went for my GTT went back for the second test and this poor woman had been fasting all night and was booked in for midday! she then got told that her doctor hadnt stated it was a GTT and they couldnt do it so the poor woman had to be rebooked! blooming incompetence, i tell you what, if the company i worked for were that unorganised they would be bankrupt!

The dip test is a good indicator thats what picked mine up plus my fundal height shot up, fingers crossed you will be fine, and not need one

 

[Fly]

Ahh thanks for that info Naomi hun me fundal height was bang on the nail last week - any other symptoms you can think of off the top of ya head that i could look out for just incase? the midwives said that if i get really excessively thirsty and can't quench my thirst then i'm to go in n get checked? xxx

 

[Sherlock]

I'm reading

Sorry to hear it wasn't something more positive from your Consultant app. I know how frustrating it can be when hearing it over and over from the Registrars and Consultants. They will always give the worst case scenario regardless. Even if one factor from a long list has a X against it, it means they go the doom and gloom route. Forget the rest of the list has great big ticks, that one X means

I think you've done your research, have had an opinion and advice from the Consultant and your MW and can make up your own mind as to what you want to do. I know like me you will transfer if there is any need and your MW's sound competent and willing to have you at least try there in Frome which sounds fair enough to me.

You know how I feel about certain things so I won't go into them again here But if you are confident in yourself, your body and your support there then you will be far happier there than in Bath. Which can make a huge difference when having a baby. Being relaxed, calmer and somewhere you want to be can make all the difference. Of course you know and accept that there may be a need to transfer and you will do so and deal with it. So long as you are prepared for all possibilities then You don't have to dwell on them all, just understand how it might be.

FWIW ROA is good The back of the head is to the front on your right

ROA, ROL, ROP, LOA, LOL, LOP : All these mean the baby is head down, on your right (R) or (L) side, with the back part of their head (occiput) to the front, side or back.

Good luck hun I'm hoping all goes well for you. I am sure you are keeping a close eye on your health and will know if there is anything changing.

 

[Mildly]

Sorry your appointment wasn't what you wanted. Just stick to your guns, you know your body better than they do

 

[Fly]

Thankyou Sherry and Mildly xxx

 

[Redshoes]

Sending BIG hugs Fly
Consultants can be so cold and clinical I know, just take it as them doing their job, and you do your job of giving birth to your baby, as you choose, unless something happens where they need to do their job.. and they shouldn't be seeing it as a hassle for a Mummy saying how she wishes to birth her baby It's such early days yet anyway for you and baby, and with the later scan and checks if anything is out of the ordinary then they can step in. Plenty of women have successful vaginal births after c-sections, there are obviously different risks to women who've never had a c-section, but it certainly doesn't mean you won't deliver vaginally and in a MLU, I'm sure it will all go well with the support of the MW's there, they will know if you should be moved, there's no risk about that and no-one wants what's best for your baby more than you, very best wishes Fly, you spoil yourself and I hope you feel a bit better baout it all soon

 

[Fly]

Thankyou honey am already feelin alot better from all your lovely messages - little voices of reason all of ya's had a good chat with Lee when he got home earlier and he's also set my mind at rest cos i was guilt trippin meself earlier on this afternoon but he talked sense into me too xxxx