little*red
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- Aug 31, 2006
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i found this for you ladies to have a giggle over. The big question is, which one are you?
Im definatly an ordinary mum
.
On getting pregnant
Ordinary mum: keep it a closely guarded secret for a while, inventing outrageous excuses for our funny behaviour.
Yummy Mummy: takes out an ad in the Telegraph announcing her achievement and an ETA for yummy mummy junior.
On morning sickness
OM: become intimately acquainted with the toilet bowl and abandon all hope of ever holding on to our breakfast cereal.
YM: disguises her bleary eyes with Gucci sunglasses and recommends pregnancy to her friends - it's fabulous for detoxing, darling.
On pregnancy diets
OM: love the eating-for-two excuse and stuff our faces full of chocolate, doughnuts, cake and crisps.
YM: trembles in her Manolos at the thought of putting on weight and books a crisis session with her consultant nutritionist.
On the pregnancy blues
OM: slob around in our pyjamas, eating enormous tubs of ice cream and weeping over terrible daytime TV.
YM: hails a cab to see her creative healer, Nigel - proudly clutching her moonstone and practising a spot of ashtanga yoga on the back seat.
On hair
OM: put off going to the hairdresser for fear of scaring him with our wild, untamed manes.
YM: enjoys a weekly trim at John Frieda, reading Tatler and Vogue while her highlights are touched up.
On the first signs of a bump
OM: squeeze into our trusty old jeans for as long as physically possible, even though the top button's popped off.
YM: dashes to Push in Islington for some customised Earl jeans, then over to 9London for another little black dress.
On maternity shopping
OM: Pick up some bargains from the high street, hiding the credit card bill when we splash out on something special.
YM: salivates at the opportunity to buy a whole new wardrobe and enlists a team of personal shoppers. How else would she carry all the bags, silly?
On pregnancy pampering
OM: feel grateful to have 10 minutes of peace in the bathroom with a gossipy magazine and a splash of Radox.
YM: thinks that 'low-maintenance' means going a week without a pregnancy facial and massage at the Elemis Spa.
On buying things for baby
OM: borrow stuff from friends and feel rather pleased when we find a bargain 10-pack set of babygros in Asda.
YM: heads off to The Cross in West London to make a list and hires a party organiser to throw her a baby shower.
On skincare
OM: ditch cleansing, toning and moisturising in favour of an extra ten minutes in bed.
She: is soooo inspired by her fabulous 'glow' that she dreams up her very own skincare range and pitches it to Clarins.
On shoes
OM: are so alarmed by the change in our centre of gravity that we squeeze our swollen ankles into some rather large and clumpy flats - better to be comfy than clumsy, eh?
YM: is aware that motherhood means making sacrifices - and reduces the 85mm heel on her Jimmy Choos to a highly unglamorous 65mm...
On exercise
OM: pop to the local swimming pool and do three lengths, then reward ourselves with a giant chocolate eclair.
YM: slips into a Juicy Coutre tracksuit and develops a holistic fitness
programme with her personal trainer.
On underwear
OM: abandon thongs in fear of losing them somewhere they shouldn't be(!) and opt for comfort over class - it's big knickers all the way.
YM: squeezes into lacy Myla and plans to wear Agent Provocateur on her big night out at the Portland...
Im definatly an ordinary mum
.On getting pregnant
Ordinary mum: keep it a closely guarded secret for a while, inventing outrageous excuses for our funny behaviour.
Yummy Mummy: takes out an ad in the Telegraph announcing her achievement and an ETA for yummy mummy junior.
On morning sickness
OM: become intimately acquainted with the toilet bowl and abandon all hope of ever holding on to our breakfast cereal.
YM: disguises her bleary eyes with Gucci sunglasses and recommends pregnancy to her friends - it's fabulous for detoxing, darling.
On pregnancy diets
OM: love the eating-for-two excuse and stuff our faces full of chocolate, doughnuts, cake and crisps.
YM: trembles in her Manolos at the thought of putting on weight and books a crisis session with her consultant nutritionist.
On the pregnancy blues
OM: slob around in our pyjamas, eating enormous tubs of ice cream and weeping over terrible daytime TV.
YM: hails a cab to see her creative healer, Nigel - proudly clutching her moonstone and practising a spot of ashtanga yoga on the back seat.
On hair
OM: put off going to the hairdresser for fear of scaring him with our wild, untamed manes.
YM: enjoys a weekly trim at John Frieda, reading Tatler and Vogue while her highlights are touched up.
On the first signs of a bump
OM: squeeze into our trusty old jeans for as long as physically possible, even though the top button's popped off.
YM: dashes to Push in Islington for some customised Earl jeans, then over to 9London for another little black dress.
On maternity shopping
OM: Pick up some bargains from the high street, hiding the credit card bill when we splash out on something special.
YM: salivates at the opportunity to buy a whole new wardrobe and enlists a team of personal shoppers. How else would she carry all the bags, silly?
On pregnancy pampering
OM: feel grateful to have 10 minutes of peace in the bathroom with a gossipy magazine and a splash of Radox.
YM: thinks that 'low-maintenance' means going a week without a pregnancy facial and massage at the Elemis Spa.
On buying things for baby
OM: borrow stuff from friends and feel rather pleased when we find a bargain 10-pack set of babygros in Asda.
YM: heads off to The Cross in West London to make a list and hires a party organiser to throw her a baby shower.
On skincare
OM: ditch cleansing, toning and moisturising in favour of an extra ten minutes in bed.
She: is soooo inspired by her fabulous 'glow' that she dreams up her very own skincare range and pitches it to Clarins.
On shoes
OM: are so alarmed by the change in our centre of gravity that we squeeze our swollen ankles into some rather large and clumpy flats - better to be comfy than clumsy, eh?
YM: is aware that motherhood means making sacrifices - and reduces the 85mm heel on her Jimmy Choos to a highly unglamorous 65mm...
On exercise
OM: pop to the local swimming pool and do three lengths, then reward ourselves with a giant chocolate eclair.
YM: slips into a Juicy Coutre tracksuit and develops a holistic fitness
programme with her personal trainer.
On underwear
OM: abandon thongs in fear of losing them somewhere they shouldn't be(!) and opt for comfort over class - it's big knickers all the way.
YM: squeezes into lacy Myla and plans to wear Agent Provocateur on her big night out at the Portland...
I'm def not a yummy mummy!!
.
