Nervous!!...bottled it...yey! i did it!!

[xrachx]

Well this afternoon i am going to a "mum and baby/toddler group"
ok so hear you ask, but this is out of my area, im going on my own and i dont know anyone there..ohh and i havent been to one for about 12 years..lol i cant believe how nervous i am, its silly really
I got chatting to this mum at another group i took my daughter to and she said there was a playgroup round her area (the one i am going to today) and said "just pop in" is it that easy though?? i am getting cold feet...thinking about it.oohhhhh
**********************************
Well we went this week and we had a really good time!
i dont know what i was worried about..lol the women there were really nice too and made me feel welcome, there were a couple ther that was older than me too, i am definately going next week.
Glenn was asleep for most of it though so hopefully he will manage to stay awake next time.x

 

[Beatlesfan]

Ah poor you, I can understand your anxieties. best thing is not to put pressure on yourself. Give yourself the choice that if you wan to go you will, and if not you won't. You might feel a bit more relaxed then. If you are thinking of going, just remember that all the women were prob in the same position as you and going there for first time, feeling nervous. You also have a head start that you know someone already (the mum who recommended it )

If you don't go, you can go next week, or the week after...no pressure.

Sometimes going in and being upfront with people saying, "this is my first time here, I don't know what usually happens here..." can lead to someone becoming empathetic and guiding you, having a chat and making you feel more welcome.
Also, asking someone (maybe the person who runs it) if there is anyone there who has things in common with you can be a good way of meeting people e.g. Is there anyone here who has a little girl/boy the same age as my child? Anyone from my area? etc etc.

If you go and you don't feel comfortable, you don't have to go again, and you have the perfect excuse if you feel you need to give one... it's out of your area...Good luck with your decision... let us know how you get on.

 

[Moomum]

I did this yesterday hun! Very first time and completely on my own. I was as nervous as hell, but I forced myself and ended up really enjoying it. I haven't done this sort of thing for 7 years and also I'm nearly 45, so felt I'd stick out like a sore thumb, but it wasn't the case.

Good luck

 

[xrachx]

I will go next week instead..

 

[Xena]

I've only ever been to one once, when Lydia was a baby. I've never been again. I felt so awkward and uncomfortable.

 

[Beatlesfan]

Don't beat yourself up about it.... like I said before, don't put pressure on yourself. If you fancy going next week, go... if not, don't go...settle down to Loose Women and a nice cuppa!! I went to a Bumps and Babies group when Imogen was 5 weeks old and I didn't feel like I fitted in, but I have also been to a New Baby group run by NHS and it was great...the sessions were more structured and so there was no pressure to socialise with other mums... it just happened naturally, coming out of conversations about that week's topic. When the sessions finish I am sure a few of us will stay in touch.

If you go next week, you might enjoy it or not... find something else to do that perhaps is more structured. Less pressure then.

Hugs for you.. you did well to consider going as it is out of your comfort zone.

 

[babsi]

TBH I don't like going to these things but I am not the most important person here, Kai is, he is the one that benefits from it so that is why we go.

We have been going to something since he was only a few weeks old and haven't looked back. Anything beats sitting at home all day.

 

[Squiglet]

I really struggle with social situations...I'm quite different from most people and I have always struggled to fit in with "normal" people...Plus for me in Spain theres a big cultural divide. There are baby massage classes once a month, where they also teach you basic child care...but tbh, I don't agree with Spanish ideals where kids are concerned...plus everyone goes with their partner or mum,... and I'd have to go alone.

 

[Tangerinedream]

My baby clinic it at a mother and baby group. Im not brilliant with big groups so I just play on the floor with Jake and smile at other mothers or babies every now and then. I have struck up a few conversations which have been nice

 

[xrachx]

Right i will tell you the problem....
i am 36, i am gonna be the oldest mum there, i just know it! i know i am ok with people cos i am easy going and i can get chatting to anyone, and i just have a problem with me being so old, i have other kids who are older maybe some of the mums will be the same age as my eldest one, and i dont feel like i would fit in, dont get me wrong i dont act my age...(not by a long shot) but its just that "thing" that i am more aware of this time around, why cant places have groups for older mums??

 

[Princess_Puddles]

Right i will tell you the problem....
i am 36, i am gonna be the oldest mum there, i just know it! i know i am ok with people cos i am easy going and i can get chatting to anyone, and i just have a problem with me being so old, i have other kids who are older maybe some of the mums will be the same age as my eldest one, and i dont feel like i would fit in, dont get me wrong i dont act my age...(not by a long shot) but its just that "thing" that i am more aware of this time around, why cant places have groups for older mums??

You really don't need to be nervous hun! Its not like you're walking in with a badge saying I'm 36, no one there knows anything about you and they wont judge you because of your age, they dont even have to know. I know me being a young Mum I look up to Mums older than me (I'm not quite sure why) and would never judge on age!! I hope you do go hun, you have nothing to loose

 

[mum&2girls]

i know the feeling hun as i struggle to go to groups with jayde but i actually went to a jellybeans surestart music group with jayde last week and enjoyed it, im hopefully going to go to essy play on monday with her hope you pick the courage up and go hun

 

[Moomum]

Right i will tell you the problem....
i am 36, i am gonna be the oldest mum there, i just know it! i know i am ok with people cos i am easy going and i can get chatting to anyone, and i just have a problem with me being so old, i have other kids who are older maybe some of the mums will be the same age as my eldest one, and i dont feel like i would fit in, dont get me wrong i dont act my age...(not by a long shot) but its just that "thing" that i am more aware of this time around, why cant places have groups for older mums??

I know exactly what you're saying and that was the reason that I was reluctant to join any groups initially. I pushed myself though and I'm glad I did. I absolutely knew I'd be the oldest there (in fact old enough to be some of the "Mum's" Mum iykwim ) I'm 45 in a few weeks, but like you, don't act or look my age.

I hope you manage to overcome your fear and go along. You might enjoy it, you might not, but it's worth a try.

Just be thankful you're not an old fart like me

 

[Princess_Puddles]

Age is only a number Ladies! Doesn't mean you have to feel, look or act it!

 

[trixipaws]

at my mum & baby group, apart from one who looks about 20, i am by far the youngest there! they all look like theyre well into their 30's except for that one and me. but honestly, i didnt really think about it until u said, and i dont think they do either. dont get hung up on ur age hun! go next week and enjoy it