need to get off my chest, sorry if i sound like a brat.

[trixipaws]

i love my mum LOADS, she is amazing, and she offers any support she can, even now im 27- emotionally, financially, favours she will make sacrifices and not expect any from me in fact turn down most of my offers to do her favours. her heart is in the right place.

so i feel bad to say this- but OMG she annoys me sometimes! her problem is that she is such a eternal pessimist and over-worrier to the point of irritating! she takes other people's problems on board, dwells on stuff too much, frets over things unnecessarily, makes a big deal out of fuck all (like when she went on holiday and i text her askin how it was she text me back saying she felt "suicidal"- because of THE WEATHER!! she was letting it spoil her holiday i was like yes but u can go sightseeing, shopping, drinking in bars- u dont need to sunbathe to enjoy ur holiday! ) when faced with problems she just crumbles and dwells on mistakes she may hav made that caused it- just goes on and on about the past which cannot be changed instead of thinking about what to do in the future which ISNT irreversible- and while she laments and stresses time is wasted that could be used constructively instead by taking some action!

all that tho i can live with coz i love her and its just part of her quirkiness- but im starting to resent the fact that i cannot go to her with my problems. i dont tho, i dont tell her anything if i can help it- i dont want to worry her coz she gets too worked up so i always pretend everything is hunky-dory even when sometimes it isnt. but i wish i didnt have to, you know? i know iv just realised how selfish this sounds! grr, but i need to get this off my chest i just wish she was stronger, i feel she should be my rock!

i hope i can be a rock for melissa i do have a tendency more so as i get older to be a bit like my mum- and its widely known that most women turn into their own mothers! i shall fight it i dont wanna become a nervous wreck too i wanna be strong for milliepops- i wanna be her rock!

oh i know this sounds so awful- she cant do enough for me yet here i am complaining! i do love her to bits and i dont wanna upset her by telling her this- i just wish she would pull her socks up and be a bit more selfish, go and indulge herself for once and bollox to everyone else! but she wont, bless her. tis such a shame!

 

[EllieBelle]

You dont sound like a brat at all......

I have issues with my mother too, she is also a pessimist and also always sees the bad points in a person first and the good points later, which riles me to no end!!

You moan away thats what we are all here for, and Im sure we all take note of how our mothers were with us, and strive to do even better with our own!!

Take a long, deep breathe!!

 

[beanie]

It doesn't sound selfish, we allwant our parents to be there to be strong for us, after all they are there to help us and look after us even when we are grown up. I don't know what to suggest but I hope you find a way to resolve it

 

[freepie]

you cant choose your family!!

 

[nori]

unfortunately pessimism does rub off on your children. I know this as my mum looks at the worse case scenario and so did i. Due to a very bad year last year (healthwise) i had some counselling and thankfully it has helped me change my mindset but i still fall into my old ways.

I agree with everything you say about never dwelling on the past etc.. but that has been your mums coping mechanism all her life and i very much doubt you will change that now unless your mum realises the problem and takes steps to change it herself.

All i would say is try and maintain YOUR way of thinking and not be drawn into the negativity.

Claire x