Men, well he does my head in...

[Baileysmummy]

Last night me and dh had a huge row, all over nothing really..

My real dad is big you see and is married to a big lady, and last night he came out with a comment.. "your getting to be like ya dad and carol" well it really hurt me cos im not big, im quite small and petite really, its just cos im pregnant, well i took it the wrong way and stomped off upstairs and he comes up saying hes sorry etc etc and well why the hell did you say it then, it just caused more arguements and now he wont do anything with me for our wedding anniversary, my mum has offered to pay for us to go out for the night and stay in a hotel, his reply no chance we do the same thing everytime.. erm last time we stayed in a hotel was on our honnymoon and that was nearly 5 yrs ago

he wants to take me on a cruise which is a lovely idea but we just havent got the money..

so i went to bed all on my own watching weepy true movies and he never even came to say sorry he slept downstairs again which isnt new either..

so hes gobne to work and m sat here pondering why should i have to put up with it.. should i..

 

[clairescunny55]

aww hun sorry ur feeling like this, i think we all have days like those.

 

[Princess_Puddles]

Isn't your DH a member of this forum? So wouldn't posting on here make things worse?

Sorry don't have any advice but lots of hugs

 

[Baileysmummy]

yeah he is, and maybe if he see's it, would make him think how i feel, cos he certainly dont listen to me otherwise..

he doesnt come on much anyway, only if theres a prob or im away..

 

[M&Ms]

Men huh? Sounds like you're married to someone like my estranged husband and I thought they broke the mould when they made him!

He insisted that I had the triple test (which I didn't want and didn't agree with) then never bothered to come with me to the hospital when I went to have it done. Couldn't be bothered getting the time off work to come for the third scan I needed to check the heart was ok - said he couldn't get the time off work yet he managed to 2 days later when his mate wanted him to go to an exhibition down in Birmingham with him. He never even brought me flowers when I had our daughter 8 years ago. When our baby was born, he moved into the spare room so HE could get HIS sleep!I suffered badly with depression after the birth and he would never come to help sessions with me to give me support - just told me to snap out of it. Then when we split up 18 months ago, he told me I was ugly and grossly overweight! Nice guy.

Sorry your rant has turned into my rant, but I just wanted you to know you're not alone when it comes to insensitive men!

 

[jayla's mummy]

our hun some men can just be inconsidrable - have you tried sitting down and talking it through tell him of the way you are feeling ( and the way he makes you feel). ive noticed that it can help. keep us posted hun x

xnatx

 

[SarahB]

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

aw hun

Maybe the conversation should have ended when he apologised, a lot of men wouldnt have, but insisted they had done nothing wrong instead!

Not that im taking sides, just playing devils advocate here.

Its been a very stressful and emotional time for you both recently, try not to take it out on eachother - thats the worst thing you could do

 

[Baileysmummy]

Thanks all

we spoke last night finally after my mum rung him and told him to sort his attitude out

It has been stressful for us both and i guess its his way of coping but he can be so insenstive at times..

I also spilled my heart out to him about the way the boys are with me cos last night i took bradley to bed, and he cried for a whole hour, he wouldnt come for a cuddle with me he just blanked me, and when daddy came up to see what the fuss was about he put his arms up to him and gave him a cuddle just like that then laid down and went to sleep... i just turned over and cried..

He says it is because of the way i am with the boys and i should be a little calmer with them so im going to try, and hes going to try to be a bit more firmer with them as well, and hopefully the boys will love me as much as they love him, cos at the moment i feel like they dont..

So yes i think we got somewhere last night now i hope it lasts..

 

[trixipaws]

oooh *sucks air thru teeth* he was playing with fire commenting on a pregnant lady's weight! i'v gained over 20kg during my pregnancy but if my boyf made even the slightest negative comment about it he'd be in little pieces!

glad u seem to hav got it sorted now tho...

 

[OverTheMoon]

My DH made a comment about my weight today and I was sulking until our lovely son came over and pointed to my DH's stomach and said 'baby' He thought daddy was carrying a baby in his tummy too PMSL then the friction all dissolved. Its hard not to take such stupid comments personally.
My son is also completely a daddys boy too. The way i see it is this.... daddy is out all day focusing on something else while mummy is the entertainer, cook, cleaner, feeder, etc etc and also trying to instill some discipline. So when daddy gets home its all play play play and I quite often feel like the big bad mother. He will always go to daddy before mummy except when he has hurt himself and then only mummy will do ahhh bless I do have my uses!!!

 

[lisa&alex]

you know.. theres a book called a blokes guide to pregnancy.. a male friend recomended it to me.. and im thinking i might get it.. its a mans guide to it.. in FHM terms written by a bloke..

my only ideas would be.. being pregnant i hard work.. and we only know it is coz we are going or have been through it.. its tiring, depressin, exciting and most of all hormonal.. arguments are gonna happen but please try to communicate, and never ever go to bed on an argument sit your partner down and say.. u know i got a new relationship rule.. never go to bed on an argument.. we have to make sure one or both of use has the guts to solve the problem and hug kiss and make up before we go to sleep..that way the issue is confronted and usually will be solved..explain to your partner just how you are feeling.this is half of his child that you are growing..you know being pregnant is just like having cancer.. a growth growing in you..(i know its not a nice thing to compare a baby to - but its true) perhaps telling your husband this will make him realise just how much hard work pregnancy actually is..xx

 

[mrs_tommo22]

I get told all the time i look like i have swallowedx a pie shop, though my fella is just joking! Mark prob werent as hes quite dry in his humor! tell him to piss off youd shock him