Ebony_Mommy
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legal issues - help asap
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Sarah&Braydon
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legally i think he can take her out but he would be advised as its so cold at the mo it would be better to keep her inside especially as she is ill
and take her out wen its warmer
this was wot i was told
and take her out wen its warmer
this was wot i was told
Alfiesmummy
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I would of thought because your breastfeeding that would play in your favour, if they suggest expressing just say no that isnt how you want to feed her and if he wants to take her out you will have to go, also like sarah said shes ill and the best place for her is in the warmth i think your being reasonable giving him unlimited access i dont think anybody could hold it against you as your looking out for the welfare of your child. does that make sense or am i rambling?
Legally? They will most likely give him access to have her for a few hours at times....Im not sure where it stands on breastfeeding though, but they will probably just say she can have a bottle for them few hour like other babies have to. To be honest he does have a right to see his daughter and take her out, she is as much his as she is yours...im sorry to be blunt hun...Maybe you should talk to him, say she isnt very well at the moment and with the weather conditions you would rather he had her another time when she was better and the weather wasnt so bad.
Ebony_Mommy
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Ebony_Mommy
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chezzabell
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i do understand what ur saying about the breast feeding and being ill, but he is her father and he has the right to take her out, i always say imagine if the shoe was on the other foot.
Not trying to be funny hun
Hope u get things sorted out
Not trying to be funny hun
Hope u get things sorted out
Sarah&Braydon
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they will say ull have to find a way of expressing hun if he wants to take her
u could try explaining his attitude last time but if he plays all nice n sweet dont think it would get u very far
u could try explaining his attitude last time but if he plays all nice n sweet dont think it would get u very far
Alfiesmummy
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maybe you should give him a call and say what cassi said that if he wants time alione then to have her upstairs but say though that your not taking her out if you can avoid it so he shouldnt, it is like everyones said he is her dad but your still giving him unlimited access so noone can say your being unreasonable on the whole letting him see her thing. try talking to him im sure he wuldnt want to make his little girl any more ill, if need be tell him if hes still persistant to take up legal action but untill then he isnt to take her out, that will buy you some time hopefully she will be better by then
Ebony_Mommy
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if he has pitbulls then no way in hell should u b expected to hand ur baby over to him and let her in his house!!!! 
tell him he can c her at urs for a few hours, if hes not happy with that u tell him to go thru ur solicitor as to access and conditions etc, but with u feeding her u cant b stressed with his stupid games!!!
tell him he can c her at urs for a few hours, if hes not happy with that u tell him to go thru ur solicitor as to access and conditions etc, but with u feeding her u cant b stressed with his stupid games!!!
Ebony_Mommy said:
stick to your guns eboney. Do not let her out your sight.
if he really wants to see her he will go to a solisitor who will side with you coz shes so young and you are only 8 weeks post natel and fragile etc NO ONE can make you express your milk for the bubba or gove a bottle to her.
you do what you think is best for your daughter ebs.
personally i wouldn't let ANYONE have my bubba at 8 weeks.
glitzyglamgirl
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Definitely stick to your guns hun, you know whats best for your baby and he is just going to have to play by your rules if he wants to spend time with her. Tell him he either plays it your way, atleast for now, or he can go to a solicitor. In the meantime, give your local CAB a call and find out exactly where you stand, just incase he starts to try and scare you into handing her over.
Stay strong babe, your doing the right thing
Stay strong babe, your doing the right thing
As he's on the birth certificate then he has parental responsibility which means that he has to be consulted with any decisions such as schooling, you taking her out of the country etc etc. However if he took her away from you despite you saying you dont want him to then he is not kidnapping her as he has parental responsibility.
However given that bubs is only 8 weeks then I don't think you are being in the slightest unreasonable in not allowing him to take her out alone. If he was there 24/7 and knew her routine back to front then thats a different story but he doesn't. You cannot be forced to express milk and in all honesty you have allowed more than reasonable access already so even if he went to court I doubt he would get anywhere as he's got contact. I suspect they will take your side and allow him to take bubs out for a couple of hours when she is say 6 months old and not before.
Stand firm, you're obviously uncomfortable about it as I would be in your position too. You've offered him time alone in your house, if he wants to take her out (despite it being freezing this week!) then go with them. I think that is more than fair.
However given that bubs is only 8 weeks then I don't think you are being in the slightest unreasonable in not allowing him to take her out alone. If he was there 24/7 and knew her routine back to front then thats a different story but he doesn't. You cannot be forced to express milk and in all honesty you have allowed more than reasonable access already so even if he went to court I doubt he would get anywhere as he's got contact. I suspect they will take your side and allow him to take bubs out for a couple of hours when she is say 6 months old and not before.
Stand firm, you're obviously uncomfortable about it as I would be in your position too. You've offered him time alone in your house, if he wants to take her out (despite it being freezing this week!) then go with them. I think that is more than fair.
Hi Ebony
Don't worry about the feeding - they will probably grant him access to your baby but it would be between feeds and at that age when feeds are still so frequent it will probably be access where you aren't very far away so that if she needs a feed you are available.
Try not to worry, don't let this detract from enjoying this special time with the recent arrival of your baby.
Lucy
Don't worry about the feeding - they will probably grant him access to your baby but it would be between feeds and at that age when feeds are still so frequent it will probably be access where you aren't very far away so that if she needs a feed you are available.
Try not to worry, don't let this detract from enjoying this special time with the recent arrival of your baby.
I don't agree with that at all - it's not up to "them" to tell Ebony how to feed her baby!cassi said:
Lucy
Ebony. hope you're ok. I have had aword with a few friends who i know went thruogh a similar thing to you.
your best bet here is to not refuse access totally. If you do you will be looked at (if things go further) as an unreasonable mother and that will not go down too well.
If i were in your shoes this is what id do.
I would not have anymore contact with OH either via telephone/letter/personal contact etc. I would go straight to a doctor and expalin what you are going through. Say youy're feeling a bit down about it as no doubt you are. Get it dow n on RECORD though
. Tell doctor you think baby is a lot more unsettles as they pick up on stuff like this - lay it on thick.
then i would go to a really good solicitor you get free half hour. Explain that you are not wanting to stop OH seeing daughter but you would rather be present at contact times whilst she is young and still breastfeeding etc.
Ask solicitor to write up a letter (which will probably cost you around 15-20 quid) offering your OH contact every other week in a contact centre. A contact centre is a place where chilredn can meet their parents and spend time with them in a controlled environlment. There is someone there all the time. Its ideal for your situation Ebony. You will still be able to feed and otuch baby but OH will also be able to see her and he won't be able to say anything horrible to you either coz there are people there whoare watching. If OH doesn't come and leaves you waiting it is all logged down which is useful if it goes furhter.
If OH refuses this offer of contact then he will be deemed the unreasonable one. You will be seen as the reasonable paretn and therefore in a better footing.
He will no doubt go to a solicitor who will ask him why he refuses such access. What will he say? The solicitor will advise he takes the offer.
Ebony here is where you can make life a little hard for him?
Do you have transport? Does other half?
If he doesn't try and find a contact centre where he has to walk, catch a train etc. This will test how committed he is to baby
Of course you will also need a good reason as to why you want that contact centre though. will your OH be bothered in going to a contact centre everyother week? will he be able to give up 2 hours of hIS time?
This is really your best option Ebony. OH will get contact of some kind becasue thats the way things are now. Its your job to try and make it as difficul as possible.
Main thing to do now is to stop letting him into your home stop answering his calls and go to a solicitor and do things properly. Its for the best for the baby too -
your best bet here is to not refuse access totally. If you do you will be looked at (if things go further) as an unreasonable mother and that will not go down too well.
If i were in your shoes this is what id do.
I would not have anymore contact with OH either via telephone/letter/personal contact etc. I would go straight to a doctor and expalin what you are going through. Say youy're feeling a bit down about it as no doubt you are. Get it dow n on RECORD though
. Tell doctor you think baby is a lot more unsettles as they pick up on stuff like this - lay it on thick. then i would go to a really good solicitor you get free half hour. Explain that you are not wanting to stop OH seeing daughter but you would rather be present at contact times whilst she is young and still breastfeeding etc.
Ask solicitor to write up a letter (which will probably cost you around 15-20 quid) offering your OH contact every other week in a contact centre. A contact centre is a place where chilredn can meet their parents and spend time with them in a controlled environlment. There is someone there all the time. Its ideal for your situation Ebony. You will still be able to feed and otuch baby but OH will also be able to see her and he won't be able to say anything horrible to you either coz there are people there whoare watching. If OH doesn't come and leaves you waiting it is all logged down which is useful if it goes furhter.
If OH refuses this offer of contact then he will be deemed the unreasonable one. You will be seen as the reasonable paretn and therefore in a better footing.
He will no doubt go to a solicitor who will ask him why he refuses such access. What will he say? The solicitor will advise he takes the offer.
Ebony here is where you can make life a little hard for him?
Do you have transport? Does other half?
If he doesn't try and find a contact centre where he has to walk, catch a train etc. This will test how committed he is to baby
Of course you will also need a good reason as to why you want that contact centre though. will your OH be bothered in going to a contact centre everyother week? will he be able to give up 2 hours of hIS time?
This is really your best option Ebony. OH will get contact of some kind becasue thats the way things are now. Its your job to try and make it as difficul as possible.
Main thing to do now is to stop letting him into your home stop answering his calls and go to a solicitor and do things properly. Its for the best for the baby too -
glitzyglamgirl
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I dont want to be funny budge, but I think all thats going a bit too far.
Im sorry but.....what?????
Why? To what end???
I think that reducing his contact to every other week and then forcing him to go to a contact centre is just going to inflame the situation, cause a lot of bad feeling and even more stress which is not good for anyone.
From my experience, I can tell you that the worst thing in the world is arguing over contact, it becomes less about whats best for the child and more about who wins, a power struggle. Even with the best intentions believe me.
Stick to your guns about him taking her out with the understanding that once she is older and you feel she is ready, you will then re-evaluate the situation.
Hope I havnt offended you budge, I just dont agree with what you said.[/quote]
Im sorry but.....what?????
Why? To what end???
I think that reducing his contact to every other week and then forcing him to go to a contact centre is just going to inflame the situation, cause a lot of bad feeling and even more stress which is not good for anyone.
From my experience, I can tell you that the worst thing in the world is arguing over contact, it becomes less about whats best for the child and more about who wins, a power struggle. Even with the best intentions believe me.
Stick to your guns about him taking her out with the understanding that once she is older and you feel she is ready, you will then re-evaluate the situation.
Hope I havnt offended you budge, I just dont agree with what you said.[/quote]
