just logged onto instagram..

[nds]

and the second colleague that was pregnant whilst i was last year has given birth to her first child, five weeks early.

and i'm in absolute tears.

the first colleague gave birth in early january, and i was fine with reading the news and seeing a picture and even seeing her in person, i held her for ages and she was so sweet and tiny.

but this is my first jealous and bitter moment of someone else having their baby. and being able to keep them. why didn't i get to keep my girl?!

i just have to hope and pray everything goes well with this pregnancy, still very very early days though so currently not got that much optimism.

just needed to write that for my own benefit really x

 

[lisa1985]

Aww so sorry to hear this I miscarried in October and I can't stand seeing newborns, pregnant people, baby clothes and every time someone announces they are pregnant or that they have given birth on my facebook I am blocking them from my wall. I am so bitter and sad! Its totally understandable to feel like that. xx

 

[nds]

i don't blame you

i understand it too it's just that was my first moment of jealousy and bitterness and upset at someone elses blessing i guess since i lost my girl.

i'm so sorry for your loss xxx

 

[Robyner]

Stop being hard yourself, what you went through was absolutely awful.
Nobody could ever blame you for your feelings Hun. It's a tense and anxious time xxx

 

[nds]

thankyou xxxx