Is there ever a "right time" to have another baby....

[legally_sara]

hi ladies im new to all this so thank you to anyone who replies....

i had my son 2 years ago and for a while iv been thinking about having another baby. im an only child and i dont want tht for my son. but really is there ever a "right time" im starting to feel like i will end up putting it off forever??? am i mad??? my family are all great but whenever the subject crops up they all think we should wait and that im mad for wanting 2 young children.

any advice??

xxxxx

 

[jodied]

I think it is all about personal choice - it is always easy to find reasons not to have a baby but if that's what you and your oh decide is right for you then go for it. There are pros and cons of small and larger age gaps xx

 

[l_maclean]

Why dont you make a list of the pros and cons of a big gap vs a small gap, then see which appeals to you the most,

I hope to have kids close together - cos although it would be a bit more work when both are young - at least you get all the nappies etc out of the way together.

Also I was put off a bigger age cap by my cousins - there was an 9 year age gap between them - and trying to find family days out that would entertain a 4year old and a 13 year old was a nightmare for them.

xxx

 

[lesleyann23]

My kids will be exactly 12 months apart and wasn't an accident although I did expect it to take longer for me to get pregnant again my dh and his brother are 18 months apart and were best friends growing up where me n my sister were 4 years apart had nothing in common and hated each other. I guess its personal choice but this helped my decision.

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[Me, My Girls & I]

There's 12months 17 days between mine, and I can see the debate for
Both sides! I don't think there is a "perfect" time, but whenever it happens, will be right for you! It was hard at first with them being so young, but I've always said I wouldn't change it for the world! As they're growing older they really are the best of friends and I love it! I always said I'd struggle with a bigger age gap, but I'm now planning on having another in a few years time wen the
Girls are at school! I kinda live by the if it's meant to be it'll be thing, so when the times right it'll just happen!xx

 

[Constantstar]

I was thinking this :/ Owen is 12 weeks now. And I was wounding what age gap I'd like. I've jut had the implant put in and that lasts for 3 years so im thinking of ttc after this so maybe a four year age gap?! We also gotta think about money and room. We got a 2 bedroom flat so o will have his own room but with 2 they will have to share! And I've just cut my wages down to almost half my usual earnings so it would be a struggle to move etc so maybe in 4 years it would have settled etc xx

 

[Toonlass]

There is 11 month and 4 days between my boys. On one hand in was hard work, exhausting infact and is still difficult now but they are the best of friends, cry when they are apart, entertain each other while I do the washing and if I'm honest I wouldn't have it any other way. I guess if you wait you will have a massive age gap, they will not be close and the elder child will think of the younger as a burden (I also have a nine year old and this us the case)

There is no 'right' time, just when you are ready. My only advice is don't leave it too long if you definately want another. Xx

 

[Iriki]

My son will have just turned 3 the month before baby arrives... He's toilet trained, sleeps through the night, communicates well and is at kindergarten 3 days a week so for me, this is the perfect time for no2 to arrive. He's had plenty of one on one time with hubby and I, is a confident and well adjusted and behaved child and understands that there's a new baby in mummy's tummy and he's gong to be a big brother and can help us to look after her.
The fact that he's at kindy from 9-3 three days a week will also mean that our new baby gets plenty of one on one time with us and that I'll get an opportunity to nap during the day while she sleeps if necessary too
Bottom line, different things work for different people, but whatever you decide to do, make sure that you give yourself enough time to enjoy each child as a baby/toddler because thy grow up so quickly and you don't want it passing you by in a stressy, nappy filled, exhaustion driven haze

 

[Maria1977]

I'm pregnant now and have an almost 10 month old. It's early stages pregnancy, but if all goes to plan there will be 18 months between my two. I would've liked a couple more years, but age is against us really, but at the same time we're still looking after a baby so before we get too laid back we're adding another to the mix lol It will be nice for Oscar to have a sibling close in age too I think.

 

[littlemiss83]

We went for a larger age gap, my daughter has just turned 7. The reason we waited is because I wanted to enjoy her by herself for a while before having another. When we think about it though, we should maybe have had another when she was about 4/5.

The toddler stage - age 18mth/3 y/o is very difficult, possibly even more difficult than having a newborn, I'd imagine it would be pretty hard to have a newborn & a toddler but obviously people manage.

 

[AugustMum]

I personally wouldn't want a big age gap. But I guess its all personal choice. I agree though, there's never a right time to have another.

I would preferably like to start trying for another once my LO is 2 and a half as then she'll have her 15 hours nursery place and going to school not long after so I can have some spare time with a younger child and then hopefully within 10 years start a nursing degree. If I had a big age gap it'd be about 20 years before I could start training! But Ive got to see if things pan out though lol

 

[Yodabo]

Again down to personal preference. My friend had 2 boys close together (i think a year apart) and she said it was hard work but she managed it.

I have 3 boys and have around a 7 yr gap between all of them. I didn't plan it that way and if i had a choice i probably wouldve chosen a bit sooner but i love how the older boys (8 & 15) look after they're younger brothers. I love the age gaps now.

 

[Lulu_Laroo]

I don't want too much of a big age gap - there is 16 months between me and my sister and we grew up as best friends and it was lovely. My mum said we kept each other entertained whilst she did the housework! However I do want to wait until my wedding before we start trying again (getting married in 2013). So that would mean a newborn when Poppy is a toddler (assuming I got pregnant straight away) and that really scares me!

 

[titch]

just to play devils advocate... ... there is 6 years between me and my sister and I absolutely adored her when she was a baby, I just loved helping my mum out, I used to beg her to give the baby a bath all the time once we were both in our teens we became the best of friends, we're so close. Less so these days as shes living so far away. People always think we're twins

on the other hand there is 20 months between me and my brother and we are like chalk and cheese, we dont argue but we dont get on either, he feels very distant, and Im definately not close to him.

go figure!