I'm in a mess
- Thread starter tracyM
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glitzyglamgirl
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oh hun im so so sorry to hear this, words cant do it justice 
Im going to pass on the best bit of advice I ever had when my best friend died, and that is to allow yourself all the time in the world to grieve. Yes you can be strong for your family, for your kids, and for yourself - but take private moments to let it all out, it doesnt matter if goes on for weeks or months or longer and you wont be letting anyone down by grieving. The worse thing you can do is bottle it all up.
Im thinking of you babe, and im sure that where ever your mum is she is very proud of you
Im going to pass on the best bit of advice I ever had when my best friend died, and that is to allow yourself all the time in the world to grieve. Yes you can be strong for your family, for your kids, and for yourself - but take private moments to let it all out, it doesnt matter if goes on for weeks or months or longer and you wont be letting anyone down by grieving. The worse thing you can do is bottle it all up.
Im thinking of you babe, and im sure that where ever your mum is she is very proud of you
I am so sorry to hear your sad news, I hope you you have managed to get some sleep hun. Take your time and be kind to yourself.
You know where to find us if ever you need to rant of offload.
Please take care of yourslef, so sorry for your loss.
You know where to find us if ever you need to rant of offload.
Please take care of yourslef, so sorry for your loss.
Thanks guys.
We had some friends round last night, and talking about her, not being sad, just chatting about her made me feel loads better and I managed to get some sleep.
I went to collect her things from the hospital yesterday and register the death. Cause of death (are you ready for this)
Myocardial infarction (heart attack)
Ischaemic heart disease (angina?)
chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (emphysema?)
hypertension (high blood pressure)
diabete mellitus
I've got more form filling to do today.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, ANYBODY WHO SMOKES, GIVE UP NOW. I started again when we moved house, but had a pact with mum that we'd be giving up together on 1st September - I'm sticking with this.
My mum was a very strong believer that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and she's certainly put lots of little trials and tribulations in the way
She'd said she wanted her body to be donated to medical research. First problem, she didn't put it in writing so they wont take her. Instead, we're having a regular cremation and spreading her ashes on my little brothers grave. She's getting cremated in a hideously garish multi coloured rabbit shirt
- I've still to work out whether dad wants this because it was her favourite shirt or because he wants rid of it I spoke to mums oldest friend on the phone last night - and even though they'd only met up once in the last 30 years (last summer), Joyce asked if it was 'no black' dress code and if she would be wearing 'THE' shirt, so I think we've done the right thing. Now I just need to check whether we've to take bra and knickers in for her
We'd spent all the savings on a new kitchen for the granny flat which was finished on Thursday (is that what they call sod's law?) We applied for a loan on Saturday to pay for mum, and although it's been accepted, it will take 3 weeks to come through (we need time to think about it). I was devestated about it yesterday afternoon (visions of having to put her in our garden) but I did some reading last night and it seems dad can claim some benefits. We won't need a loan so the bank can shove it's interest where the sun don't shine.
I'm now starting my mission in life to make sure everybody is prepared for the day they die. If I were to go tomorrow, Stuart wouldn't have a clue. He wouldn't know about the bank accounts, what money needs transferring on what day. He knows we use Lloyds and that's about it. Up until Sunday, he wouldn't have known whether to bury me, cremate me or put me in a rocket and send me to the moon. We now have all our wishes in seperate envelopes on the back of a kitchen cupboard door (kids included - except Alex of course). I'm making a start on all the finances and bills today - getting everything all in one place and writing everything down. As mums, we hold soooooo much information in our heads - even the kids shoe sizes. Luckily, my mum had moved in with us so didn't have too many bills to consider and she's told me about everything else. If I hadn't been up to handling everything, nobody else would have a clue.
Joyce (my mums friend) said last night that death isn't the end. Mum still lives on in me and kids. And although it's made me start blubbering just writing that down
, it's given me great comfort
We had some friends round last night, and talking about her, not being sad, just chatting about her made me feel loads better and I managed to get some sleep.
I went to collect her things from the hospital yesterday and register the death. Cause of death (are you ready for this)
Myocardial infarction (heart attack)
Ischaemic heart disease (angina?)
chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (emphysema?)
hypertension (high blood pressure)
diabete mellitus
I've got more form filling to do today.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, ANYBODY WHO SMOKES, GIVE UP NOW. I started again when we moved house, but had a pact with mum that we'd be giving up together on 1st September - I'm sticking with this.
My mum was a very strong believer that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and she's certainly put lots of little trials and tribulations in the way
She'd said she wanted her body to be donated to medical research. First problem, she didn't put it in writing so they wont take her. Instead, we're having a regular cremation and spreading her ashes on my little brothers grave. She's getting cremated in a hideously garish multi coloured rabbit shirt
- I've still to work out whether dad wants this because it was her favourite shirt or because he wants rid of it I spoke to mums oldest friend on the phone last night - and even though they'd only met up once in the last 30 years (last summer), Joyce asked if it was 'no black' dress code and if she would be wearing 'THE' shirt, so I think we've done the right thing. Now I just need to check whether we've to take bra and knickers in for her We'd spent all the savings on a new kitchen for the granny flat which was finished on Thursday (is that what they call sod's law?) We applied for a loan on Saturday to pay for mum, and although it's been accepted, it will take 3 weeks to come through (we need time to think about it). I was devestated about it yesterday afternoon (visions of having to put her in our garden) but I did some reading last night and it seems dad can claim some benefits. We won't need a loan so the bank can shove it's interest where the sun don't shine.
I'm now starting my mission in life to make sure everybody is prepared for the day they die. If I were to go tomorrow, Stuart wouldn't have a clue. He wouldn't know about the bank accounts, what money needs transferring on what day. He knows we use Lloyds and that's about it. Up until Sunday, he wouldn't have known whether to bury me, cremate me or put me in a rocket and send me to the moon. We now have all our wishes in seperate envelopes on the back of a kitchen cupboard door (kids included - except Alex of course). I'm making a start on all the finances and bills today - getting everything all in one place and writing everything down. As mums, we hold soooooo much information in our heads - even the kids shoe sizes. Luckily, my mum had moved in with us so didn't have too many bills to consider and she's told me about everything else. If I hadn't been up to handling everything, nobody else would have a clue.
Joyce (my mums friend) said last night that death isn't the end. Mum still lives on in me and kids. And although it's made me start blubbering just writing that down
, it's given me great comfort
