I'm in a mess

[tracyM]

My mum passed away on Friday morning following a massive heart attack. They kept her alive on machines for 7 hours, but me and dad had to make the decision to turn off the medication at 9am. Me, my dad and Daniel were with her when she passed. OH and I were with her all night. She was 55.

I've been her full time carer since she moved in with us in May (hence why I've not been on here much) and now I'm lost. I've kept myself busy for the last two days making all the arrangements (Dad is pretty useless when it comes to practical things - I even had to go with him to the cash point yesterday as he's never used one before) but it's now Sunday, there's nothing else I can do until tomorrow.

I haven't slept for three nights but I'm knackered. I resorted to cleaning the inside of the toilet cistern at 3am this morning. I've got a permenant headache from crying all the time and I look like I've gone 4 rounds with Frank Bruno. I'm doing my best to be strong for the kids and my dad and all the rest of the family, but I'm so scared I'm going to end up falling to pieces.

My mum was my best friend and I WANT HER BACK!!!!!!! I want her to give me a hug and tell me everything will be ok. I want her to tell me to stop being so silly. Stuart's been brilliant, but he's not my mum, I want my mum!!!

 

[mary70]

i dont know what to say hun other than i am so sorry, make sure you look after yourself, you kids will need you but you wont be able to take care of them if you dont take care of yourself as well, if you need to hun go and see your doctor for a little help

 

[Nic'n'Keeley]

I'm so sorry for your loss hun

 

[kirlykird]

so sorry to hear this

 

[Urchin]

Oh Tracy.

I'm so so sorry. You know where I am if you need to talk or rant.

 

[jools221181]

Oh hun I'm so sorry

 

[HappyAlice]

Your Mum wouldn't want you to be like this, I wouldn't want my daughter to be like this when I pass - I'd say just try and get some rest as hard as it might be, you need to sleep to be able to keep it together

 

[fothers]

So sorry for your loss

 

[Baileysmummy]

aww huni, im sorry for your loss of your mum..

 

[lozzi]

im really sorry for your loss hun

 

[Flossy82]

So sorry tracey here's loads of

 

[mum2be?]

I am so sorry for your loss hunny

Here if you need to chat

 

[emma28]

 

[foxymum]

so sorry for your loss hun

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

awwwi am so sorry hun

 

[lauramumof2]

im so very sorry for you and your family.

 

[nicki]

I'm so sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you & your family. Give yourself all the time you need & take each day as it comes. I know how you are feeling, pm me if you need to talk

 

[mum&2girls]

im so sorry for your loss

 

[Babylicious]

 

[tracey 2]

i am so sorry to hear this hun i cant understand how you are feeling but im here if you need to talk at all.

sending you lots of love and hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx