i'm going nuts!!!

[kitten1102]

Tim was 11 weeks old yesterday, and for the last 9 weeks, my OH has undermined me everytime I say know what is wrong with him, and it is really starting to knock my confidence and make me VERY angry with him...

As far as he is concerned, every time Tim cries, it's hunger (even if he was only fed an hour before!!), and when I tell him its a tired/in pain/bored/wind/wants a cuddle cry, he tells me I'm wrong.

It's driving me nuts!! I know he wants to be right, but unfortunately, I know Tim better than anyone else (as I spend ALL my time with him), my instinct kicks in and I can sort him out 9 times out of 10, which really annoys OH.

We've had sooo many fights about it now, and the fact he makes stupid little sarcastic comments rather than being straightforward makes me want to throw things at him!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the MIL doesn't help either. Tim had a cough/cold over xmas, and OH told MIL who went straight on the internet and was looking things up. She then phoned me and told me to take him to the doctors urgently, as it MUST be a chest infection. I had to tell her very politely that as he didn't have a temperature, and was eating well, that I wasn't going to worry too much. She had the nerve to 'tut' at me like I was a naughty child!!!!

Sorry, I just really needed to get it off my chest...

 

[trixipaws]

grr, that would irritate the hell outta me! hav some hugs

 

[jendav81]

How annoying!!! That must really get on your nerves!

Have you tried telling OH how he is making you feel? It's difficult enough having a newborn without OH making comments all the time, he should be on the same team as you.

 

[kitten1102]

everytime I ask him to listen to my reasons for thinking i know whats wrong with Tim, he tells me to shhh and then he walks off!!!

I'm thinking there is a severe lack of respect for me there...

and he wonders why I don't want him to cuddle me when we go to bed!!!

 

[lella]

omg that would really annoy the hell out of me. As you spend the most time with him you get to know what his little crys mean. Your hubbie needs to learn a bit of respect!

Just remember , you are a good mother who knows whats best for your son! Dont let anyone tell you otherwise!

 

[MissThing]

Hi hun.

That is really annoying, but, maybe he is feeling a bit left out? Lots of men feel so. Baby arrives, and they do not seem to matter. Maybe you would do with some time together? Just two of you? Do you have someone to look after Tim at least for 2 hours? You just need some quiet time to talk things over.

I hope you OH will get better soon.

 

[kitten1102]

I'm getting to the end of my tether with OH now. He started at me AGAIN this morning, and after 6 months of his constant bitching at me, I think I've had enough!!

Tim got all frustated coz he could hear all the shouting that was going on, and then he started to cry, so I took him into the nursery and fed and changed him in there rather than in the living room with OH was.

He told me I'm a silly little girl and he blames my 'lack of confidence' on wanting my mum around me. I told him that at least if I was near her I'd have support from someone...

So now he has taken Tim and gone out, and I'm left all alone, crying my eyes out trying to figure out what to do!! I know I could move back towards my parents and find a job there and have my nan look after Tim (she'd kill to look after him all day everyday!!)

I just don't think there'll be a reconcilliation this time.

 

[Krystal]

I'm not sure what to say but wanted to give you these

 

[leckershell]

I know how you feel luckily my OH has given up arguing with me though as he knows I'm right. I spend all day with Ryan during the week while he is at work, so I'm bound to know him better

Men

It's not consolation but you're not alone, and yeah it did my head in too I just used to say right do it your way and if he's still crying in 10 minutes I'll do it my way. After me being right so many times, he finally gave up, cos the 10 minutes of crying each time got him nowhere.

 

[Redshoes]

You know what's best for you and LO, even if it is hard or scarey to make that choice, do what's right for you
I think your OH is terribly insensitive and cruel, and I think the MIL is the same, and its obvious where he gets it from. They'd do well to remember you're Mummy and they should respect you

 

[bobtheunfortunateone]

I had alot of help from my Healthvistor, strange I know, but she always gave me honest advice (I was right all the time, turns out!) Plus she is impartial, which will build up your confidence.

you are right not to trust internet advice 100% you will always think the worst (Your your MIL will) Older parents advice can be good sometime but more often alittle dated! You sound like a great mum, with a good bond to know when the baby is hungry or sleepy. I got that soon as my little one was born, I think Hubbys get alittle pushed out and want to look like they know stuff to! But try not to let it get you down, every couple will have arguement and huffs! Its natural adjustment.

Just remeber you are doing a great job xx

 

[kitten1102]

AAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Well, I don't think things are getting any better. My mum offered to take the three of us on holiday (only to Butlins) for my birthday next month, OH then kicked up a stink coz he didn't want to take any leave from work. I said 'thats fine, Tim and I could go and you can stay at home and go to work' - except he doesn't want to me to take Tim, so he wants all of us to miss out on an all expenses paid trip, and me spending my birthday with my mum!!!

Anyway, we moved on to how he feels unsettled, and misses home (Zimbabwe), and he has no friends here. He then told me that he lost the friends he did have when he chose to move in with me and that its my fault. That is such a load!!! One of the guys still calls him every now and then, but he never answers the calls because HE thinks his mate is childish!!

After blaming me for 'sacrifices' he has made, he told me that the only thing that makes him happy now is Tim. Just Tim. Not even I make him happy, nor does our home, or his job (which up until a month ago, he loved!). So I said, 'you don't need me then?' to which he replied 'no, just Tim, he takes a bottle.'

Charming, hey?

I think I'm gonna have a BIG glass of wine and then go to sleep on the couch (he's already in our bed)...