I'm giving up!

[My1stBaby]

On all routines, feedings times,bedtime etc. I'm putting too much pressure on myself and Max to conform to what a normal baby does or should be doing.

I'm gonna go back to letting him sleep whenever he wants n eat whenever, rather than feeding every 3 hours n letting him nap for a certain amount.

I'm depressed cause I look at everyone elses sleeping babies and I can't bare it. I'm miserable because I feel like a failure n I think a lot of that is due to pressurising max into becoming some sort of perfect baby.

I'm not enjoying what should be the most amazing time of my life and if I keep going the way I'm going I'm gonna end up getting actual depression. I'm slowly getting back into not wanting to take him out anywhere n just crying everyday n I'm determined to snap out of it.

From now on, Max's way is the right way and I'm gonna follow his lead.


Woahh rant over xxx

 

[TORino]

I hope it works for you hun.

It is difficult to read about other babies sleeping through when we've been up 4-5 times in the night I know. It gets me too sometimes.

I keep telling myself she'll do it when she's ready and sleep is overrated anyways lol.

 

[BevG]

i pretty much let alyssa take the lead hun, shes the one that gets tired after 2 hrs max and shes the one that says when shes hungry or bored lol. routines are all well and good for some but dont work for everyone, we have a natural routine and i just go with the flow cos i can. dont stress about it and see if he sorts his own out.

 

[Nic36]

I am such a freak for routine, order, etc.etc. But I have soon come to realise that just doesn't work with my LO... It's been tough to accept, but now I just follow her lead. My baby doesn't feed 7 / 8 oz bottles every four hours like it says on the tub a four month old should do - I'm lucky if she takes four oz and wants to feed every 2-3 hours. She doesn't sleep through either. But she's such a happy, smiley baby who is gaining weight and is very alert. If she's happy, then I'm happy (even though a bit more sleep would be nice and would probably make me happier!). I think we all worry too much about routine and comparing our LO's with what is considered 'normal' for a baby of their age. They are all different and as individual as we are. Hope it all works for you! xx

 

[wifeywifey]

I always let lo take the lead, my 15 month old now tells me when he wants bed or if hes hungry between meals he even lets me know when he needs a nappy change. Hes always in bed by 6pm his choice. It really works for us and Im glad we did, Im doing the same with Elliot and he seems to be happy with it and wants his bed at 9 every night only usually wakes at 4:30 for a feed. I never tried a routine we just fell into one.

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[Maria1977]

I always let lo take the lead, my 15 month old now tells me when he wants bed or if hes hungry between meals he even lets me know when he needs a nappy change. Hes always in bed by 6pm his choice. It really works for us and Im glad we did, Im doing the same with Elliot and he seems to be happy with it and wants his bed at 9 every night only usually wakes at 4:30 for a feed. I never tried a routine we just fell into one.

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^^defo agree with this

They will always fall into a routine of their own, and as the months go by it just all falls into place.

Our 18 month old has a pretty rigid routine and Lula is having to fit around it. I feed on demand and let her sleep when she wants to. The only rigid part of her routine atm is she has to get washed and dressed in the morning when Oz is, and she goes to bed when I do atm.
xxxxx

 

[Rachaellius]

I totally know what you mean. I work myself up so much sometimes thinking she should be doing this that and the other and going to bed at a certain time etc. I think the absolute worst thing you can do though is compare to other babies, I'm a sucker for doing this myself. I'm the same as you, I think I need to relax a bit more. I'm sure the stress is doing no one any good x

 

[TORino]

A routine has definitely helped me here in our house. I had this screaming baby that cried all the time and I didn't know why.

Obs part of that is the reflux but this baby wouldn't sleep properly when she needed to so we have rough set nap times which mean she doesn't get overtired. It has helped massively.

 

[l_maclean]

I may get shot down for this - but I actually dont believe in having a strict routine for a baby. As much as I LOVE my daughter I didnt want her to completely dictate what we can and cant do with our lives. so we have a very very relaxed routine. We go up to bed when DH and I are ready - normally about 9.30/10pm - and she comes too. most of the time shes quite happy with this. But it also means, if we are out for an evening and she's at her grandparents a wee change doesnt totally knock her out of kilter iykwim.

On tuesday I went for drinks at a friends house, took G with me, and didnt get home till 1am. She slept there for a while - probably down a bit later than at home, but she was fine with it - in fact when we got in I gave her a feed and she slept really well. If i was stringent with a 6/6.30 bedtime, i wouldnt have been able to do that.
xxx

 

[prettypenguin]

To be honest,i wish id have been less strict with a routine. Were all over the place atm but he always has his bath bottle n bed at roughly the sane time, trouble is he goes to bed at such an early time (6pm) so i cant go out or stay out later, in the day though were everywhere as im taking him out more and hes not napping when he isnt in his bed. I think its better like some of the girls have said then you can change plans without throwing them off their routine x

 

[pinkyprincess]

Breathe and relax!

Tyler gets up a different time every morning and feeds every 3 hours do his 'routine' changes everyday. I follow his lead and everyone always comments how happy, laid back and calm he is.

Do what you need to

I am slightly anal about naps but today he's skipped one *shrug* I'll just put him to bed slightly earlier.

 

[Mrs. KM]

Try not to stress, and take yourbaby's lead. I have no idea how people can schedule naps etc. I feed K when she is hungry and put her down for naps when she is tired. K has never slept through either and usually wakes 2-3 times (5-6 now during her 4 month sleep regression!) a night.

 

[Loula]

i thoughti was ina routine but again it changes everyday, hope it works for you xxx

 

[katie_lou]

I think the best thing to do is follow ur baby's lead hun . Stuff routines lol xxx

 

[Mrs N]

I will let you into a little secret . . . the people that say their babies sleep throug, never cry, are doing sums at 2 months are lying!! Lol!!
I dont really understand how you can have a routine with such small babies!! Harrison goes 2 1/2 hours between naps and which includes a feed but when this all happens depends on when he wakes up and how long he sleeps for!! Also if we are out he is so nosey that he might be awake 4 hours but at home he might just go 1 1/2 hours!! When I feel like it is all getting on top of me I have a 'pyjama day' were I just let him take the lead so I let him feed, play and sleep when he wants and this usually helps me work out his natural routine again. Your not on your own hun!!
xxxx

 

[My1stBaby]

ohh ladies thank you so much!! i hope this is the right option for us.

hes just all out of sorts, he cried and i thought it was for food as it had been 3 hours (the usual time i feed him), but he wouldnt take the bottle and screamed for an hour. he then slept (again) and never cried again for food. but at 4 i gave him a bottle and he took the whole thing- this was 6 hours after his morning feed :s i said i wasnt gonna try feeding him without him crying for it but 6 hours is just not right so i gave in.

i dunno whats up with him but maybe this whole time he was being fussy coz he wasnt actually hungry. gonna see how it goes for the rest of the evening and then tomoro morning and go from there.

6 hours is too long to go without milk though surely??

 

[TORino]

The mws told me that when a baby cries for food they have been hungry for sometime.

 

[TORino]

Ooops hit send to quickly there.

Crying is meant to be one of the last signs that a baby is hungry. They start looking around/rooting/smacking their lips first apparently

I find it very difficult to read this in my own child so I feed her when I think she needs feeding, the cues aren't obvious for me. I try not to let her cry cos she works herself up into such a state very quickly and she cries enough during the day for other things.

 

[Sarah13]

We don't do routines either. Only thing we do in the same order at roughly the same time is tea bath boobie bed, but Im flexible with that too, I mean Kynon didn't want to go to bed until after midnight the other night so I left him playing! I have a happy baby but one who has never slept through at nearly 9 months and still wakes 4 or 5 times or more a night! Some babies just don't like sleep or routines!

 

[LaurenMM]

Angel doesn't really have a routine the only routine I have is the 4 hourly feeds which she fell into herself, if she happens to be hungry before I feed her and the only strict one I suppose is the bath bottle bed but if we decide to go out we will take her and have a night off from it iykwim. At one point I would've liked a good routine but it just didn't work ESP since she wakes up at a different time everyday, growth spurts and teething just made it hard. With regards to naps she usually goes down 2 hrs after previous one. I have absolutely nothing against strict routines at all it just didn't work for us and she fell into one and now at nearly 8 months I can usually say yep she'll have a nap around whatever time. Don't be hard on yourself hun just let it fall into place xx