Ignorant questions and comments!

[moss]

Arrrr I am SO ANGRY! I have a "close friend" that I rarely see anymore because we are in different countries. She is normally supportive and tactful, but when we announced the pregnancy, her first reaction (on facebook) was just "WOOOOAH!!!" Later on she sent me a message that basically went:

"I was wondering about this baby madness... Are you sure you can afford it??? That's crazy!!! Was it planned?!?!?!"

There was never a congratulations. I didn't answer that because I just didn't know what to say. It was rude and I don't think it deserves a serious reply. Then, she sent my husband the same message, with "Are you sure you are ready for this???" added to it. He hasn't answered either. We have been together for seven years, married for five and I am 27 years old. It isn't as if we are teenagers that just got together and had an accident.

Then there was another friend, who yesterday when I was talking about being a bit stressed out instead of supporting me told me that I had better calm down because her mother was stressed when carrying her, and the ramifications have had a huge impact on her whole life (she's 47 and still blaming her mother for her poor decisions). All I said was basically "Way to make me feel guilty... I'm already ruining my child's life."

Why can't people just SHUT UP?!

 

[Sydneysmum]

'Friends' say stupid things sometimes. My ex husband (who I'm still good friends with) asked me if my partner actually wanted the child I'm carrying now!

I'd say she is probably jealous. It's a hard thing to say but if she doesn't come round to the idea (and I hope she does) then you're probably better off letting her go...

 

[moss]

If it were anyone else I would assume it is jealousy, but she isn't at all maternal or nurturing. She likes kids, but thinks she would make a terrible mother and is revolted by the idea of pregnancy.

As for the second woman I mentioned, she probably is jealous. She is 47 and hasn't had children, but would have liked to. She doesn't need to be nasty, though. :/

 

[Suzie and Faith]

Grrr, some people bug me!
People's reactions to my pregnancy were along the lines of "I thought you were the sensible type"

It really bugged me. I'm 20 and perfectly capable of being a mum. No baby wasn't planned but we were being careful - people immediately presumed we'd been 'silly'.

Grrrrr. Just ignore it. They aren't worth it!

 

[Miss.Monroe]

jesus, how rude and uncalled for! id like to know what she thought of my situation!

good on you for not replying to it.

 

[jendav81]

Some people are just insensitive idiots All that matters is that you and your husband are over the moon, just ignore those people

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

What an insensitive thing to say
im not suprised your upset stupid women she dosnt sound like any friend id like

James Dad was the only one who made me feel bad about being preggers
he said the sames as your 'friend'
was it planned? do you wan't it?, our you happy?(directed at James ) Can you AFFORD it???
made me feel like a 13 year old who had got up the duff after a one night stand

if we waited till we Could AFFORD it i'd NEVER have the joy of having a child

Take no notice of these small minded people thier jealous you have a loving Husband and a beautiful baby on the way
Im sure you will make a wonderful mum
and getting a bit stressed well *(WHAT PREGNANT WOMEN DOSNT??)
And how many perfectly happy healthy children are in the world!!

Silly comments like that are a sign of her lashing out at you becuse you have something she cant have
not that exuces them though

enjoy your pregnancy and the love of a good man
and forget those none people

lol sarah

 

[dannii87]

Oh dear... I don't even need to reiterate what the others girls have said - it's pretty obvious to me that they are jealous maybe?!

My mum got PN depression after my brother, and he is fine! In fact, I'd say he has done pretty darn well for himself (he's 17) so if worrying a little bit during pregnancy causes and aftermath affect on a persons life, then surely every one of our children would have problems and issues that are "our" fault for stressing a bit while pregnant?!

Well, you see children go in and out of care during their childhood and they appreciate their lives and what people have done for them - so PLEASE don't you worry about a little bit of stress!!

You are going to be a fab mum - just like all of us here. We're bound to make wrong decisions or do/say something we regret, but that happens to everyone!!

The first friend hasn't had any children, how the heck does she know anything about babies and stuff then?! I wish people could just be happy for you, you deserve celebrations

Sorry for my vent in reply to your vent lol xxx

 

[Lulubelle]

I think I've been quite lucky really, I've not experienced all that much.

When I first told my mum on the phone it was quite funny, she said 'Oh wow, Congratu... it is good news isn;t it?' lol which amused me.

I work as a teacher, so I get the odd comment from the kids. I have a class of sixth formers, one of whom I know very well out of class from being friends with her mum. She knew a few weeks before the others, we went on a school trip and she spent the entire time saying 'hmm Miss, you're getting fat!' I knew she didn;t mean it, she was just winding me up, but it did get really annoying, especially as I am now the size of a blue whale and I've still got 3 months to go!!!!!!!!!

 

[mandspice]

Grrr, I feel angry for you! After what many of us on here have been through trying for our little miracles money really doesn't come into it. I guess people who have never been maternal just wouldn't understand. But f*** them - we're the ones with beautiful miracle growing inside us and no one can even come close to diminishing our happiness! xx

 

[abcd1234]

I hate when people do that! there were so many people that assumed i would get rid of my baby just because i'm young and it was an accident!
I didnt plan my baby and i'm not married but if anyone were to suggest that i made the wrong decision in choosing to keep my baby they'd have to watch out for my fist in their face!!
Your situation sounds like a perfect one for having a baby, just cos other people wouldnt want to do it doesnt mean we dont

 

[BeckyJ]

some people just dont think! i feel so sorry for you girlies that have had negative comments

 

[xkikix]

As soon as I read your post I thought straight away that she sounds really really jealous! And others seem to agree. Altho she doesnt seen that maternal maybe its what she secretly wants?! I wouldnt bother replying.