I need to talk about it sometimes!!!!

[leean10]

In the past 7 years, I have had 5 miscarriages, the most recent being 2 weeks ago!!

I am desperate for a baby and went for testing last year and it was found that I have a blood clotting condition that was causing my problems.

Anyhoo, I like to talk about them and have a little cry etc as there are times when I am feeling a bit down but OH won't have any of it at all. He cuts me off and says enough of that, lets not talk about it as it upsets you, look to the future. That's all very well but I do have to remember them occassionally, don't I? Am I being depressing by trying to talk about it?

 

[lozzajohn1]

No not depressing at all! Everyone deals with things differently. You have every right to get upset when you talk about them, they were/are apart of you.

It sounds like your OH my be struggling to talk about it, plus he clearly worries about how you are coping. Talk to him and tell him that by not talking about them you feel worse than if you didn't and you would like to remember them sometimes.

I'm sorry for your losses. Its not something I have experienced personally but my best friend is going through something similar and I can only begin to imagine how hard it has been. If ever you need a chat we are all here xx

 

[leean10]

I had a tattoo done on my wrist last September for my 4 lost beans and he thought I was nuts but I had nothing else to remember them by and it was my way of doing that.

I think he worries that I will end up as I was in June after #4, I was a real mess for a while but I got out of it and looked forward to my tests to give me answers, which they did.

It was only 2 weeks since my last mc and I think I am doing pretty well dealing with it this time.

Thanks for letting me talk, it really does help a lot to know there are other people dealing with the same thing and it is not just you having to go through it x

 

[lozzajohn1]

My SIL lost really early on a few years ago, and I must admit at the time I thought she was nuts getting a tattoo. BUT, being pregnant has completely changed the way I look at it. Its okay to want to remember them.

Sounds like you could both use a little support and reassurance from each other. It sounds like you are doing really well but as soon as you feel low (which you have a right to!) talk to somebody so you dont feel completely alone.

Thinking of you hun. PM me if you wanna chat xx

 

[keeptrying]

I'm so sorry about the mcs Hun. I have never been through anything like that either but like you, whenever I want to talk about my fears or anything in life in general that makes me upset, OH has none of it. Blokes just really aren't that good at talking about these sorts of things or showing any emotion, that's what we are here for! Try and discuss with him why it is important for you to be able to talk to him and that you only want a little bit of support and that talking about it will make you feel much better in the long run xx

 

[leean10]

TBH, I do try and forget it as it is painful to think about but there are days when I can't forget and I need to talk about it!!

I know he thinks he is being helpful by cutting me off when I start to talk about it but that makes me feel like he is just not interested in what I have to say!!

 

[umbongo]

I think he finds it hard to talk about and also hates to see you upset. It's healthy for you both to be upset sometimes about it, but men aren't always good at that. I hope you manage to convince him talking and crying is a good idea. Best of luck hun xxx

 

[leean10]

We had a big row the other day because he thinks the only reason I want sex is to get pregnant which is ludicrous but he says it is taking over my life.

I guess I do obsess a bit and am feeling a bit low atm because I don't think I have caught this time and that is heartbreaking.

I have tried to keep baby conversations to a minimum since Saturday and he seems a bit more cheerful than he has of late so we will see x