I got the sign i'm ready but is it a good sign?

[nickysticky10]

I want a kid and i'm not even a teen and i haven't had my period but i got the sign that i'm ready so that any time after i get my period that i would love to have a kid and its not another one of those stupid thing's! i'm turning 12 and i know i'm no where near prepared to have a kid and i don't plan on having a kid til i'm 16-17 but i do want to be a teen mom and i have givin it a little bit of thought and i know a lot more for a 11 year old then you think i don't go to school and i never will so don't say get your ass in college and make money for the kid i can't because i have anxiety i just can't its impossible i will pass out its just its impossible and if your going to tell me your not fit to be a parent or not to have a kid well then aparntly you don't know how to judge or learn all the fact's before judging me!

 

[LauraB]

Hi Nicky, and welcome to the forum. No-one's going to judge you for not going to school, you obviously have your reasons and they're not really up for discussion here.

However, I'm a little confused as to what kind of help or advice you are looking for? I understand that you have decided you would like a child when you reach 16-17, and you have given it a little bit of thought - but you then go on to tell us, quite precisely, what kind of advice we should NOT offer you. So what exactly is it that you want to hear? I'm sure people will be very happy to offer you good advice if that is what you have come here for.

 

[nickysticky10]

well i just want support and i want to no if im ever going to be able to have a kid well i am usually agressive i would never agressive on purpose to a kid but ya know it might come up and i dont go to school or get homeschooled meaning where am i going to get money from? and i got raped would that hurt me or affect me any? i have anxiety so i cant go many places but i might be better when i am older...

 

[LauraB]

Well, you've already decided that now is not the right time for you to have a baby, and it's good that you have come to this decision. Who knows, in a few years' time your anxiety may have settled - are you receiving treatment for it at all?

I have no idea where you are going to get money from to bring up your child, maybe when you're a little older and if the anxiety has settled a little, you could take some kind of educational course to help get you on your way to obtaining a job? I know it's difficult right now for you to know what your situation is going to be in a few years' time, but try to stay positive and who knows, maybe you'll feel ready to start changing things for the better then. Unfortunately I don't know about the rape issue, I'm sorry, maybe somebody else here can offer advice on that? Good luck meanwhile.

 

[nickysticky10]

my anxiety wont be gone until c.a.s is gone and stops trying to put me in the hospital until then there is no luck for me not more then 6% of luck out of 1000% of luck

 

[Jaidy]

Hi Nicky

Welcome to the forum.

I also suffer with anxiety and panic attacks and I know how you feel. Its very scary and at your age I worried about how id go on to have children and how id cope with the adult things that were to come in life.

But honestly babe, you have years left in you before you even need to think about having kids. Im sure when you get a bit older and are able to manage your anxiety better then it wont be such a worry.

Id try and concentrate on enjoying your teenage years for a while and concentrate on getting better. Try not to worry about things before they happen, easier said than done I know as like I said I suffer from anxiety attacks too, but uneccessary worry is uneccessary stress and you dont need stress like that at your age babe.

Take care and try and be positive for the future.

Things will come in time

 

[lauramumof2]

Hiya,
Welcome to the forum
Who or what is c.a.s? There are so many sad bits in your post. Who looks after you? I dont know much about you apart form what you said but the rape could bring on the anxiety, understandably.

I dont know what else to say but if you feel anxious now Im worried a baby would make you more anxious. Being pg does some scary stuff to your body.

Keep posting

 

[nickysticky10]

yes i think i have a few years left before i should think about preg but im going to start know because nothing is going to change when i am 14 or 22 so i have to worry finically about keeping myself alive because if i cant get a job im screwed and i am in grade 5 and supposed to be going into grade 8 ya i know sad ive been out of school 3 years and have not gotten ANY HELPFUL SCHOOLING and i dont want it because school doesnt make you smarter oh my dad lives with me but c.a.s wants to take me away and put me in a hospital well let me tell you something they cause more shit then they fix and they think they know whats best when they dont no shit there fat fucken lazy ass cows and c.a.s is the ones that take kids away and shove them with foster parents who stick needles in you to make you there "dog"

 

[nickysticky10]

i bet nobody on this forum has had a shity as life as me im willing to share my backround because what is there to loose? a life so what im nto going to have a fucken life until im 18 that is just fucked up

 

[little*red]

hey nicky welcome to the forum.

Sorry to here about the rough time you've had with life . Try not to let it get you down hun, i know thats easier said than done.
after reading a few of your posts, i think you should wait until you try for a baby. i think you just need to sort out the problems you have in your life first, are you in some sort of conselling for your anxiety/rape?
as for your comment on the fact that nothing will change from when your 14 until 22, all i can say is that it definitly will, you wont realise it, but when you look back you'll see that you get older and wiser with age. Im only 21 and i've still got so much more to learn from life.
Try and enjoy your teenage years before taking on a HUGE responsibility like a baby, you may regret it if you dont. You seem like an intelligent girl so give it a little more thought before jumping in the deep end.
remember if you do decide to go ahead with having a baby, then the girls on this forum are really supportive and will offer you loads of great advice.
Good luck

 

[Autaven]

Hey and welcome, I'm new as well. I don't want to preach to you at all, so please don't think I am. I'm only 17 and joined here because I had symptoms and a late AF, and wanted some solid advice, everyone around here is really helpful and it's great. Don't get me wrong, the thought of one day having a baby really excites me, and after reading through these forums it can get a little bit more.
But when I was late, I was terrified, the thought of how much my life would change was frightening, and even though I felt slightly sad when my AF did arrive, I was really thankful, because if I had been pregnant, I would have missed out on so much.
You seem smart for your age as well, and I think if you stick around you'll see how much we all have to learn, whether we're 15 or 40. Maybe just wait a few years until you're more comfortable with your own body first as well, before any scary changes happen to it. Not to mention finding someone who will love and support you through everything.
Please don't think I'm lecturing, I just know what it feels like to think about having a child, but also how scary it is when the truth sets in.
I'd stick around here if I were you though, the advice from everyone is great

 

[*saulino*]

Hi hun

Sounds like you are having a tough time and at such a young age, i hope you dont feel threatened here we are just trying to help
I dont knwo anything about anxiety attacks but i know it must be real scary for you. As for having a baby wait a few more years you have lots of time hun , enjoy your teenage years trust me they are alot of fun.
I know it must be real scray the thoguht of you might being taken away them people take away the kids that dont need to and theones that do get to stay in there homes. messed up world we live in.
So im a bit confused are they taking you away cuz of your attacks or somthing more personal, cuz they should have a valid reason?
Hope everything works out for you hun
Katrinaxxx

 

[nickysticky10]

No i wont get councilling because i dont feel like being back in the hospital is the right option for me and i know what is best for me and only i know what is best for me!

I am comfortable with my body know and so called "scary" changes are happening but i dont care there not scary just deal with it guys shave girls get periods whats the big deal its red blood meaning you can have sex and you get a kid geez im 11 not 5! oh and im 11 turning 12 and well i feel i am to young to have a kid but i want a kid when i am either 16 or when i am 22 that is the only to years i will have my first kid and if i dont then i will neverhave a kid its all about the numbers there not my lucky numbers its just some year i plan on having my first kid and i will refuse after that...

 

[nickysticky10]

Sounds like you are having a tough time and at such a young age, i hope you dont feel threatened here we are just trying to help
I dont knwo anything about anxiety attacks but i know it must be real scary for you. As for having a baby wait a few more years you have lots of time hun , enjoy your teenage years trust me they are alot of fun.
I know it must be real scray the thoguht of you might being taken away them people take away the kids that dont need to and theones that do get to stay in there homes. messed up world we live in.
So im a bit confused are they taking you away cuz of your attacks or somthing more personal, cuz they should have a valid reason?
Hope everything works out for you hun
Katrinaxxx

Ya how in the fucken world is teenage years fun when the only thing i like to do is stay inside and the only thing i can do is stay inside i only get out 1 once a week MAXIMUM i dont even go out on our front porch! ya teen years are just soo sweet arent they? No they are trying to put me in the hospital because they think im sucidal well im not for one thing and its a long story to explain and how can you not feel like shit when a lady has just thrown you in a cell witch is a girl who has anxiety and depression she escapes with her dads help and her dad has to phycially remove the nurse we were forced to go to ottawa by c.a.s we go there try to leave and we are held against our will me and my dad thought they were sending up a worker to take me away NO CHILD SHOULD FEEL LIKE THAT! and know there trying to put me in kingston general where i was born but not where i am living and i have been there when i was 8 FOR THE SAME EXACT REASON i went in a room and talked with a lady and i started drawing cute pictures and they knew i was just lonly THERES THE POINT I WANT A BOYFRIEND!

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

I hope i didnt affend you i just mean alot of us know that teen years are some of the best years weve ever had, and i hope things get better for you so you can experience that. Im sorry you are going through all this and hopefully it all will get better and please remember we are hear to help and talk to you hun so dont take it out on us.
Wish you all the best xxx
Katrina

 

[nickysticky10]

oh christ im sorry i dont mean to be mean either im just so used to a abuseive hurting life so im a bitch to i just i snap if i see something i dont like ive been suggested councilling about 137 times but c.a.s youth and wellness center and cops and ive been to about 30 proffesionals and it gets so sicking go get councilling well i think by the 30th time you woud find out if they can help you or not ya know? so im just very sick of hearing it. I want a kid not because i just want company because i want responsibilty and i mean big i ahve all the time in the world for it i have 24/7 of course i would have to sneak in 2-3 hours at a time but im pretty good at staying up for long periods my usual days about about hmm i stay up about 15-20 hours so ya i dont get very many hours of sleep but its not only regular for me but its imposisble for me to get sleep otherwise but im not cranky or anything when i get up im just my bitchy ol normal self hah so um ya im a very very open person so if you want to ask any usual questions like non private go ahead if you want to ask personal questions go ahead! i have no problem with it i just have so much stress with trying t have a baby and...its impossible to get right know so... i think by the time i wm 16-17 i will be responsible enough to own a baby i want to have a boyfriend that i have been with of atleast 3 years before i have a baby through so i know we are close and he WONT leave me when i get stuck with the baby or something and i have tons of time to reasearch on them i got the internet all the time and the phone um i dont go outside much im nto really willing to take classes one on one yes that would be ok! i have a babysitting license/certificate if that helps anywhere in the near future? im not really interactive with small kids thats because there were atleast 30 around me and i just hate the spotlight on me but ya know like i think a baby would be perfect and then maybe another baby when i am 22-23(depending) im sorry about my messy writing my fingers are cold um but ihope the computer moves into my bedroom soon! i kinda want you guys to say of what you think about me having a baby when i am a teen and putting all my stuff into your thinking and see if i am a fit pparent or will be a fit parent if you cant do it thats fine but a little help would be good! whats the most important thing when you have a baby? like finacial issues or? spending all your time on them? just let me know all that you know about positive feedback on teenage pregnancy!

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

Thats okay hun I agree i think you should wait till you have a steady bf cuz havinga baby is alot of work and its no fun doing it all alone, i have my OH and its still loads of work and can be very stressful at times.
My advice since you wnat it is i would wait till you are older hun you got lots of time to have a baby and i know you say you dont get out much and stay up loads well having a baby wont make it better . Hopefully in the furture if the time is right and your living situation is a bit better then consider it, but there is no rush your still very young and i you do act older then your age , but taht dont necessarly mena yoru ready for a baby. If it did ever happen then of course you make yourself ready and everything usually turns out.
I really hope your life turns around for you and you get all the support you need. Where is your mom if you dont mind me asking? i knwo it can be a tough question i grew up without my mom and my dad raised us.
Take care
Katrinaxx

 

[nickysticky10]

well my sence's are really good and i usually no when to say yes and know i just want to know all the fact's and when i get close to a boyfriend that's when i'll start getting proffesional help with pregnecy i really want a boyfriend and to get it started up like soon because i am getting so lonly and its not even funny oh and my mom left me and my dad at 7 its not really a tough question for me but my mom told me and my dad that she loved her daughter(my step sister or half sister) more then us so...my lifestyle is not going to change in needs for the baby that i will be having so i really dont no what to tell you c.a.s wont be leglaly out of my life until 18 and i want a baby before then i just do...

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

hello hun welcome to the forum

im so sorry uv had such a hard life no one deserves to suffer like that i suffered from anxiety and know how horrible it was for me let alone wot u are going thro

i think its great ur thinking about ur future having kids etc, My only question is if ur to worried to go outside wots going to happen wen uv got a kid who wants to be out playing???

i really hope that ur life turns better than wot ur past has been like hun

 

[Jaidy]

So you dont have a boyfriend then Nicky?

It sounds like you have it all worked out as to when you want a baby etc and im sure it will happen in time.

But I do have to point out to you that are only 11 years old, and for starters you are very much under the legal age limit to have sex and are still classed as a child, not even a teenager. I am not trying to patronise you im just concerned for the welfare of your mental and physical health, you do seem very intelligent but you obviously are desperately craving some love and support.

Having a baby at your age, especially being emotionally unstable will NOT make your life better and I very much doubt you will be a fit parent, im sorry to say that but a baby needs a huge amount of love, care, and attention and if your not receving that, yourself as a child, then there is no way you will be able to give your baby that.

Please I really do urge you to seek professional help as I think it could do you a lot of good. When you are better you will realise that having a child is the not the answer to your problems and that it should be the very, very last thing on your mind at the moment.

I dont even think a boyfriend is the answer at the moment at your age. I think you need support in the form of friends, and people who can guide you into thinking more rationally and this is what this forum is here to do, help you and be your friend. You can talk to us and open up and we will all try our best to help you, just try not to swear so much and take our advice the wrong way