I don't need to be reminded that I'm getting fatter, thanks.

[Tiffy]

My OH has been reminding me a lot lately that I am going to be putting on weight. I already have put on a bit, and I have been having a very positive outlook on it - that I am preg, my baby needs to food and this is only natural. But see, I have struggled with an eating disorder since I was 12 years old. Though I do not feel the need to starve myself anymore, it's still been there, in the back of my mind.

I have no plan of not eating or dieting so I don't gain weight, don't get me wrong... but does my OH have to rub it in??? I have asked him nicely not to, even told him that it really upsets me, and he does know the past of my ED. Am I being unreasonable? Eating and food has always been a hard topic with me to begin with.

I have been getting really insecure lately. My clothes are getting tight around the waist and belly, and it brings me down a great deal.

 

[Bloom]

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all i would try and speak to him again beacuse pregnancy is one of the most natural things in the world and we will all be putting on weight for a good cause you sound like you have a really good positive attitude so cheer up we are in this together.

 

[Tiffy]

Thanks, Bloom! I am thrilled I am pregnant, and think that putting on the extra weight is well worth it, but man it still upsets me sometimes, especially when I have my 120lb OH telling me I am gonna be FAT, FAT FAT. He is abnormally thin, but gosh, he is a foot taller than me and weighs only a little more than I do!!! Call him the walking skeleton.

 

[Jade_Number1]

My clothes are getting a bit tight too- but I'm just bloated not FATTER. MY OH works with a girl who happens to be in a newspaper today with her boobs out and looks about 100 times better than I do at the moment but my OH keeps saying that he looks at me and thinks I'm more beautiful than before cause I have something special inside me.

Doesn't mean I've not banned him from buying the trashy newspaper!

x

 

[jemz24]

no one should be made to to feel that way. i find it disgusting wot hes saying >< just like my sisters husband.
put it this way hun im a size 10 and ive had an ED since i was 12, and i would love to put weight on. its an important factor for your health and the baby's.
try not to be put of by food find a few things that u will eat and try to eat at least three times a day (i try to force myself to eat). weight shouldnt be an issue during pregnancy its your health thats more important. u can always lose weight after the baby is born, if u not happy. so tell your OH to stfu (sorry it just really upsets me when men try puttin women down). Be happy in yourself.

 

[ella]

He probably is just fascinated and means no harm - men can be a bit thick My DH was like that in the first few months - in hindsight I think he was more interested than critical - but I hated it.

 

[fifi211]

I kinda have the opposite with my DH. He keeps telling me I look fine and I don't look fat at all, but not only can I see, but my clothes are all getting tighter as well.

I am not particularly worried about the weight gain, I just hate this stage when you don't look properly pg and just look bloated

Oingo - I would just give him another gentle reminder that you know about getting bigger but you don't need him to point it out so often

 

[helsekia]

tell him your not fat your adjusting to make room for the most beautiful and precious gift of all..a new life you both created

 

[Tiffy]

Thank all of you for your responses. I'm going to try talking to him again about it... I just really feel like I need his support in this, you know? I think I'm doing a pretty good job on keeping positive about it, but as my pregnancy progresses, no doubt I will need his help.

Midna, I'm jealous of you! No doubt my OH would actually join in on the poking fun.

 

[Tillytots]

Aww hun, men can be very insensitive and they just dont understand how much things upset us at the best of times.

You aren't going to be fat at all....you are pregnant. Im jiggling all over the place and loving that real woman shape that Im getting. Im going to enjoy it while it lasts and Im eating whatever makes me feel better I have a love hate relationship with food and when bambinos born Il be obsessing over food again and getting back to skinny city!


When you feel your clothes getting tight and everything swelling....even feet....just remember its all part of blossoming into a beautiful mummy

xxx

 

[Ginnymarie]

I wanted to express my empathy....it is insenstive but like the other girls say they are a bit stupid sometimes. I am usually a size 8 and gaining alot, i feel very out of control and have suffered from ED too....it will be worth it in end when we have healthy little bubs....i hope you are feeling better x

 

[libs]

So let me get this straight...your OH knows you have a background of ED and he comments on the amount of weight you have gained? Even if you're not pregnant this is selfish, appalling, insensitive behaviour. Being pregnant too just makes it 10x worse.

Never mind he may not realise what he's saying, or he's maybe lacking understanding - tell him straight out that you think he's being a w@nker and to grow up.
And then I suggest you get him a book on self image and how you can affect someone's self image and self esteem just by what you say and make sure he reads it before your baby comes along so that he has some understanding of it before he becomes a father

As for you - glad you're looking after yourself

 

[helsekia]

tell him your not fat your adjusting to make room for the most beautiful and precious gift of all..a new life you both created

 

[Tiffy]

Thank all of you for your responses. I'm going to try talking to him again about it... I just really feel like I need his support in this, you know? I think I'm doing a pretty good job on keeping positive about it, but as my pregnancy progresses, no doubt I will need his help.

Midna, I'm jealous of you! No doubt my OH would actually join in on the poking fun.

 

[Tillytots]

Aww hun, men can be very insensitive and they just dont understand how much things upset us at the best of times.

You aren't going to be fat at all....you are pregnant. Im jiggling all over the place and loving that real woman shape that Im getting. Im going to enjoy it while it lasts and Im eating whatever makes me feel better I have a love hate relationship with food and when bambinos born Il be obsessing over food again and getting back to skinny city!


When you feel your clothes getting tight and everything swelling....even feet....just remember its all part of blossoming into a beautiful mummy

xxx

 

[Ginnymarie]

I wanted to express my empathy....it is insenstive but like the other girls say they are a bit stupid sometimes. I am usually a size 8 and gaining alot, i feel very out of control and have suffered from ED too....it will be worth it in end when we have healthy little bubs....i hope you are feeling better x

 

[libs]

So let me get this straight...your OH knows you have a background of ED and he comments on the amount of weight you have gained? Even if you're not pregnant this is selfish, appalling, insensitive behaviour. Being pregnant too just makes it 10x worse.

Never mind he may not realise what he's saying, or he's maybe lacking understanding - tell him straight out that you think he's being a w@nker and to grow up.
And then I suggest you get him a book on self image and how you can affect someone's self image and self esteem just by what you say and make sure he reads it before your baby comes along so that he has some understanding of it before he becomes a father

As for you - glad you're looking after yourself

 

[clarey]

Men!! Your OH is being very unhelpful not to mention risking yours and babys health by stressing you out like this.

I dont have much experience of ED but I hope you can remember how gorgeous you are and what an amazing thing your body is doing over the next few months. None of us exactly love the idea of gaining weight but its only temporary - just focus on growing a nice healthy baby - I'm telling myself the weight will soon drop off with all those nice long walks we will take next summer!

I hope you have family and friends to boost your self esteem where OH is letting you down, and he grows up soon

take care

 

[Tiffy]

libs, I must admit, last night I pretty much did that. He made yet another fat joke ( ) and I just blew up. I asked him the the heck was wrong with him, to talk a person who actively suffers from an ED like that - not to mention YOUR PARTNER. In the end I guess he realized how absolutely mindless his words are, he apologized and he blubbered about how beautiful I am. Ahhh, men.

It's fine though, now. The subtle ways of telling not to call me fat weren't working, so I guess he did need a bit of a kick in the behind.

 

[Babylicious]

Men are tactless

I've said goodbye to my waist line too, and I was thin and had a ed when younger.

At the end of the day your pregnant, the weight is the baby not you