I don't know what to do!!!!!

[Fingers crossed]

My oldest sister and her hubby are coming to visit on Sunday, mainly to see Jess cos sis has only seen her once and her hubby not seen yet (they live quite far away), so Mum has asked us to lunch. The thing is I've not yet taken Jess round to my parents house, they come visiting me. Before Jess came along we went round for sunday lunch every couple of weeks and I'd sometimes visit between that. Anyway, the reason I keep puttng off going round to theirs is because they have 2 very annoying dogs who jump up and basically uncontrolable, mum said that she'll shut them in the kitchen but I know that they will manage to escape somehow and jump all over us and they will bark constantly. If it was just that problem on it's own I could put up with it, but also mum, dad and my other sis who lives there all smoke. They said they obviously wouldn't smoke in the house when we're there but the house smells so bad of smoke anyway I don't think it will make any difference whether they went outside or not. I've popped in before for only a few minutes and come out reeking (even if they've not been smoking whilst I was there) and I don't want my baby to be exposed to smoke at all. I just don't think smokers actually realise how bad and strong the smell is, but as a non-smoker it makes me feel sick. My sis who lives with them has a 3 year old and I hate the fact that she has to live with it, but they think it's ok because they only smoke in the kitchen, even though the kitchen has no door and leads into the lounge, there's always a fan on in there and my neice goes in the kitchen anyway .
Do you think I should tell them straight about the dogs and smoke and not visit, or should I go this once then tell them afterwards about how annoying the dogs were and how bad we all stunk afterwards so hopefully they'd do something about it. Trouble is my neice is 3 next month and they're having a party at their house so I'd feel bad if I don't go round then cos my neice is already excited about it and I don't wanna let her down , but the dogs have injured her in the past by jumping on her (both times I've witnessed, her head has been jumped on when she was layed down and had scratches very near to her eye )

 

[Babylicious]

I would be honest with them and I think you are right for not wanting to take your LO there

 

[Redshoes]

It seems to me you either have to smell of smoke and expose your daughter to visit, and risk the dogs jumping on her, or not go, because if they cannot alter their ways for the child already living there they won't for yours Which I think is very sad but I'm sure they don't wish to cause any upset or hurt, although it is their house so they've a right to be how they wish.

Personally I'd not take my child there, explain why, and live the reaction, if they don't like it then they're very insensitive and somewhat ignorant to the very obvious health issues I've nothing against dogs or smoking by the way, my OH smokes and we have a dog, both can be lived with with a child without fear of harm, but I think there does need to be limits and boundaries, if they can't keep them for their Grandchild then you must do the right thing as a parent

 

[emma28]

Oh hun I can sympathise as my inlaws are EXACTLY the same about smoking. DH walks in shouting TABS OOT MUTHA, and then they smoke outside after that.

I consider smoking an illness and can't wait til it's banned completely.


(ex-smoker)


I'd make 100% certain the dogs were shut outside, before you bring the baby in.

Good luck It's a rubbish situation to be in.

 

[leckershell]

Personally I wouldn't go. Just have a gut feeling that when you are trying hardest for something not to go wrong, it probably will.

 

[Lulubelle]

If it is nice weather, you can go and spend the timein the garden. Maybe if you spoke to them before you go, about the smoking in particular as they seem to be alright about shutting the dogs in whilst you are there, then they may be more accomadating.

Otherwise, you'll just have to explain to them that if they want to see their grandchild / niece, they will have to put up with visiting you.

 

[lisa&alex]

i would be honest.. and say something along the lines of.. i want to thank you for you offer.. and i hope you understand what im going to say and please dont take offence by this but .....

perhaps make a suggestion to go out for a meal instead?