i cant get these pictures out of my head!!!!!!!

[suzy100]

i was flicking through a few baby forums a couple of weeks ago and was looking at one in particular.
i had been looking at the pics for about half an hour when i suddenly realised that the reason the new mothers had tears in their eyes in the pics were not of joy at the birth of their new arrival but tears of saddness and broken heartedness as this was a site for stillborn babies and i had been looking at pics of dead babies.
i feel so awful, i feel i have invaded their private moments and i cant get the little babies faces out of my head.
i watch my 11 week old daughter each time she sleeps and think myself so lucky but i still cant help feeling so bad.
the pictures were so beautiful and they were in such cute poses.
i wish i could erase part of my memory................

 

[valentine]

Hi suzy,

That must be really upsetting. When I was pregnant, I googled what a 19 week old foetus would look like to show someone and, by accident, found lots of extreme anti abortion sites with graphic and upsetting photos of aborted 19 week old foetuses on it - and, like you, I'd looked before I'd really realised what the pictures were of.

I found that really distressing. I will never google that again.

Please try and be happy and don't dwell on the pics. I'm so sorry they are in your head, but maybe try and switch off everytime your mind strays to those thoughts or distract youself. Also, don't feel guilty for looking, you didn't know what you were looking at and they wouldn't have put the pics online if they wanted to keep them private.

I feel guilty for being happy too sometimes when I think of how lucky I am and how much I love my daughter and how easily it could all have been different. But I am also very aware of making the most of this special time so have to pull myself together and not dwell on those thoughts.

I hope this helps.

Valentine xxx

 

[suzy100]

Thanks for that Valentine, your right, i didnt purposly look for that sight and the pics wouldnt be there if they werent for people to see.
i feel so much for the people who have lost their babies and never knew the joy of getting to know them and watch them develope their little characters..............that first smile, those of us with healthy new babies are soooooo lucky, i know i am