How to wean/stop breastfeeding older baby? Want to ttc#2

[fothers]

M is nearly a year and I really want to try and ttc number 2. In fact we haven't been using any contraceptive at all since she was born- except lack of sleep!

The problem is I still haven't has first AF yet and having read into it I would bet money that I am one of those people who won't get it until they stop feeding completely. I have started taking vitex to try and help too.


She has not been a huge booby monster since she was 3m old and will only feed when she is tired anyway- she went through a few months of reverse cycling because of this- what fun.

So, over the last couple of weeks she has had some formula during the day so I haven't been feeding her for about 12 hours during the day. She gets her bedtime feed and we co-sleep so she will go on the boob during the night but I don't know how much she takes- it is only for a minute or so until she drops off to sleep again, not a proper feed.

The other thing is that she is trying to walk so going through a big milestone at the moment.

I just don't know what to do for the best- I would feel bad for weaning her but I can hear my clock ticking and I am 33 this year and went through a horrible drawn out miscarriage before I got pg with M so I am worrying that if a similar thing happened again it would be a huge gap and I would be getting older


Sorry for the ramble- just don't know what to do for the best.....

 

[lisa&alex]

awh hun! i guess you need to decide what you want to do? will you gradually reduce the feeds? or stop altogether good luck with ttc xx

 

[Squiglet]

I'm one of these people who hasn't had a period yet and have been breastfeeding nearly a year. I don't think I will get one either until I stop but I won't be TTCing number 3 until Jan 2010.

Lil miss feeds far more than your LO... although saying that if your LO is feeding through the night, she might be getting most of the milk she doesn't get in the day through her night time. Lil miss will have a massive feed in the morning and a massive feed at night, but she tends to only snack during the day when I'm not working or only looks for boob at nap times.

You have two choices really. Chose a date for you TTC and slowly reduce you bfing aiming to have her fully weaned by the time you start ttc However, you will need to find other ways to do things at night and you may need to reconsider co sleeping until you drop bfing.

Or you can actively start TTCing and hope you LO will slowly wean herself by around 2 which a lot of babies do.

Good luck

 

[beanie]

me personally, I would listen to what your heart is saying. I have always self weaned my children but then my AF came back at around 10 months and my fertility wasn't compromised, if I wanted another baby and bfing did affect that then it might have been different. You have breastfed your child for a year which is an amazing achievement so don't feel bad for not going on any further. I always felt guilty bcause Seren stopped feeding when I was 4 months pregnant and the pregnancy caused my milk supply to slow down - yet I wouldn't change it as I have Cally. Not sure I have been any help lol.


If you do decide to wea Kellymom has some great tips - weaing techniques
I would perhaps try and night wean first and see if that helps, your prolactin levels are highest at night.

 

[fothers]

She hasn't really missed BF during the day as she has been napping in the buggy and would only do day BF lying down before a nap so I am ok with that.

I think in a few weeks once I have mustered up the energy (and she has hopefully learnt to walk) I will try and night wean and maybe just do a bed time feed and maybe a first thing feed and see how we go for a couple of months and keep taking vitex in the meantime.

She has been really tossing and turning in her sleep the last week or so and I think it is because she is on the verge of walking so hopefully when she has mastered that she will sleep more soundly again.


SQUIGLET- have you managed to get lil miss to sleep in a cot or do you still co-sleep? Not managed to get on here much for ages so I can't remember?

thanks everyone

 

[kalia]

Have you tried TTC?

If you didn't want to have a baby you wouldn't trust breastfeeding as a method of contraception - how may posts have we had on PF with people panicking because they didn't use additional contraception?

If you are TTC and not succeeding then the breastfeeding may be the reason. But it is perfectly possile to get pregnant while breastffeding so maybe start trying first instead of feeling bad about weaning her.

 

[fothers]

The problem with ttc is I am sure I am not ovulating since I haven't had a period yet etc. We were happy to have a small age gap which was why I hadn't went on the mini pill or anything.

If my periods came back I would quite happily feed her til she self weaned wenever that would be.


Nothing is ever straight forward is it?

 

[kalia]

Sorry, I don't think I was clear.

What I meant is, although you don't know for sure whether you are ovulating or not it would be worth trying to conceive before weaning if you would prefer not to wean. You may well be less fertile because of the breastfeeding but that does not mean you are infertile. Particularly given that you now have a 12 hour gap between feeds. If you are unsuccessful and don't conceive then you could consider weaning if you think that is what is right.

Remember you are not considered an 'old mother' until 35 and there are many women who wait that long to have a baby.

If you do decide to wean her, personally I would completely wean her off the breast before TTC in case I was so tired and sick with pregnancy I couldn't cope well with it.

 

[scones]

Just to say, my friend fell preg with number 2 by surprise when her 1st was 13 months old (still bf'ing twice a day), she had only had one AF, so it can happen! They only had sex twice!

 

[fothers]

Thanks everyone

I see what you mean Kalia- we haven't actually been trying but not preventing. I have ordered some OPKs to see if it looks like anything is happening and maybe night wean in a few weeks if I can muster up the strength and see what happens for a couple of months and if still no AF might wean fully in spring time....

fingers crossed!