How to dump a friend?

[Hazel]

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[fran_23]

Oh god please let me know if you find out because i have one exactly the same!!! she just won't get the hint...rings me or texts me at 8/9 in the morning to see what i am doing that day..i ignore her but she carries on and i make every excuse under the sun!!! she just talks AT me not to me...i dont even get a chance to reply or give advice so i spend all day i am with her just listenening and nodding!!! and BORED!!! sound familiar?? i'll be interested in the replies you get! sorry i couldnt help i have my own cling on to deal with!! lol

 

[Melly+2]

Move house and dont tell her, then change your phone number but not before calling her a complete hairy bum hole and live a wonderful happy life.

Sorry jokes aside, id just be staright with her, tell her you need to focus on your self right now and say that you feel uncomfortable about her phoning you all the time whem you have your own family to worry about x thwen move to timbucktwo

 

[nori]

I had a friend that would constantly ring me and the negativity bought me down bigtime. However, i realised that he really didnt have anyone else to talk to so just sat and listened.. you never know if one day you will be in that boat and need someone. I know its hard but this person probably sees you as a really good friend.

The only thing i can suggest is saying that if you dont answer your phone its because you are busy with your LO.. then just ignore your phone. She may find someone else to talk to and you will get a bit of peace.

Good luck,

Claire x

 

[fran_23]

Thats what i thought about my mate, i thought she was just going through a bad time and needed someone to listen to her, so i listened and listened and you know what after a few months i thought this is taking the mickey if i needed to talk she would not listen to or help me so this isnt really a friendship its just her draining me physically and emotionally and i cannot take anymore!!

 

[Snuggle]

Just be straight with her, tell her she is doing your nut in

 

[beanie]

I agree, just be straight with her. Tell her politely but firmly that you don't feel that your friendship is working. If she rings you again, ask her not to and that you will ignore her calls.

 

[moss]

Before actually dumping her I would tell her that you want to be there for her, but that you need to talk about something positive once in a while. Just tell her how you feel and that you aren't up to being a soundingboard for all of her probles because it's stressing you out. If she doesn't respect that then maybe dump her. She might just be getting carried away and not realise how bad she's being.

 

[Hazel]

Before actually dumping her I would tell her that you want to be there for her, but that you need to talk about something positive once in a while. Just tell her how you feel and that you aren't up to being a soundingboard for all of her probles because it's stressing you out. If she doesn't respect that then maybe dump her. She might just be getting carried away and not realise how bad she's being.

That's the problem, I don't actually want ot be there for her. I would prefer it if she was not in my life anymore tbh. My DH says I'm a hard nosed bitch sometimes .

We have nothing in common anymore, she's all booze, clubbing and mixes with scummy people that have been in prison where I'm evening classes, hiking and swimming and want to work towards a career in the police maybe in the future.

I'm hoping she stops ringing me as much now her idiot husband has come back.

 

[krissie23]

I have a bit of advice because I had a friend like this too and didn't know how to cope with her, until one day it all finally came to an end!

She actually cheated on her boyfriend and was seeing another bloke behind his back, and she would constantly droning on about how she didn't know who she liked the most, whether to break up with one or the other, etc. She would ring me to tell me how the one she was cheating with had whisked her off to a hotel for the wkend & how she came up with a cover story so her actual boyfriend wouldn't know where she was, how exciting it all was, blah-de-blah. Anyway her boyfriend found out in the end and it all came crashing down & then she was constantly sobbing down the phone about how she had made a big mistake, ruined her life, etc.
Anyway the day I finally lost it was when she rung me one day just after I found out I was pregnant. I listened patiently to her going on about her usual problems, until she finally paused for a minute and said 'Oh how are you anyway?' I told her that I was really happy because I'd had some brilliant news & found out me & OH were expecting a baby, and she said 'Ohh that's nice, how cute!'... before asking me to wait for two secs coz she had just got a text on her mobile from her ex & got all excited (at this point she was trying to get back with him, her 'original' boyfriend) and had to read what it said!!!! I told her to go and read it and not to bother ringing me back coz I didn't ever want to talk to her again, she acted all suprised and innocent but I told her I was sick to death of her going on and on about herself all the time and to find someone who actually cared! She never even asked how my daughter was, or what she'd been up to, etc., and I realised she wasn't a friend at all because she just wasn't interested in us! So basically (sorry for the very long reply ) I thnk you should just be straight with her and tell her that you feel she's not really a friend and you are unhappy with the way she acts and ask her if she can please stop ringing you. If it makes it easier, send a text to her saying that! Bit of a cop out but what can she really say to it? Then maybe change your number!

 

[Bee]

I agree with being straight with her

If you don't want to talk to her again then I wouldn't muck about and she's hardly going to contact you once you've said. Fair enough you might hurt her feelings but I get the impression thats the least of your worries

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

ooooh congratulations - you have met your first psychic vampire! This is a term for people who drain you of your mental and emotional energy and give nothing in return. They feed off others. They are rarely aware of this, but sometimes being dumped by a friend because of this gives them some hint....mostly though, they just carry on regardless and move on to the next "victim".

The only way to deal with people like this is to tell them straight. Tell her you dont have the time or the energy for such a one sided friendship, you wish her well, but dont want to be a part of her life anymore.

Good luck!

 

[Hazel]

ooooh congratulations - you have met your first psychic vampire! This is a term for people who drain you of your mental and emotional energy and give nothing in return. They feed off others. They are rarely aware of this, but sometimes being dumped by a friend because of this gives them some hint....mostly though, they just carry on regardless and move on to the next "victim".

The only way to deal with people like this is to tell them straight. Tell her you dont have the time or the energy for such a one sided friendship, you wish her well, but dont want to be a part of her life anymore.

Good luck!

Good name for them.

Well, she rang me the other day and immediately started telling me about her husband and what he's done this time . Then she told me her sister had told her she doesn't want to know her anymore as she goes on and on and it depresses her so she would rather not see her anymore! In this entire 30 minute phone call she didin't once ask about my baby .

 

[Tadpole]

ooooh congratulations - you have met your first psychic vampire! This is a term for people who drain you of your mental and emotional energy and give nothing in return. They feed off others. They are rarely aware of this, but sometimes being dumped by a friend because of this gives them some hint....mostly though, they just carry on regardless and move on to the next "victim".

The only way to deal with people like this is to tell them straight. Tell her you dont have the time or the energy for such a one sided friendship, you wish her well, but dont want to be a part of her life anymore.

Good luck!

Good name for them.

Well, she rang me the other day and immediately started telling me about her husband and what he's done this time . Then she told me her sister had told her she doesn't want to know her anymore as she goes on and on and it depresses her so she would rather not see her anymore! In this entire 30 minute phone call she didin't once ask about my baby .

Bloody hell - how bad is that when her own SISTER doesn't want to know. Well, at least you can feel less guilty as it isn't just you being annoyed with her.

And jeez you'd think she may have got the hint if her own family are sick of listening to her moan!!!

 

[Steelgoddess]

I dumped a friend just like this, all she would do is go on and on and on about her life but I woldn't see her for months on end, also I think she lied, LIKE ALOT!!! The final straw was when she borrowed money from my fiance and told him not to tell me long story, however i just ended up texting her saying I felt like our friendship had died a long time ago and I wasn't into the fact she had lied to me...

I agree with others just tell her via txt, also tell her straight you do NOT want to continue the friendship and if she could stop txting, calling etc, ignore EVERYTHING after that...

 

[nazmomi]

Does she call you on a landline? if you have BT you can get choose to refuse so she will just get a message saying you no longer wish to accept her calls.