How do I help my friend?

[LaurenMM]

My best friend is currently pregnant with her first and she's roughly 33 weeks along. I know I shouldn't judge but FOB is a complete dick!! He is a single father or 2 (the mum of his kids was unfit to look after them full time) and I think the kids are around 3 and 8. He doesn't work and has no intention of doing so, purely lives on benefits, apparently there's no point in him working full time as nursery bills would be too much etc etc. Yet my friend told me (before she was pg) they used to smoke weed together at his house - yes weed with tax payers money AND while his kids were sleeping upstairs, and they both smoke fags in the house. When she found out she was pg she moved in with him and she works horrendous hours and comes home to a messy house. She's still smoking because he won't give up and she finds it too hard to quit while he's still smoking in the house. She's diabetic and has been in/out of hospital with numerous problems throughout her pregnancy. She's the breadwinner and mother of the house and he does fuck all. Long story short, he has her completely under his thumb and it makes me sick. He's a nice ish bloke but what does she see in him? No ambition, no drive, he's not a man who wants to look after and provide for his family and he's no catch in the looks department either!! I'm so worried about her I know this sounds terrible but I want her realise what a ride he's taking her for. And the poor child too? What about her? xx

 

[willowwisp]

I don't think you can Hun

If she loves him then you will end up looking like the bad guy if you say anything which may move her closer to him rather than further away.

I think all you do is be supportive without ever making excuses for him and hope she wakes up and see's him for what he is.

 

[wifeywifey]

I don't think you can Hun

If she loves him then you will end up looking like the bad guy if you say anything which may move her closer to him rather than further away.

I think all you do is be supportive without ever making excuses for him and hope she wakes up and see's him for what he is.

I think thats good advise, keep her close as a friend so you can help her when needed and support her.

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[Me, My Girls & I]

As awful as it sounds hun, I don't think there's a right lot you can do deep down she probably knows herself the situations far from ideal, but she needs to fully realise it all herself! I've been there myself and I know if anyone had said anything I would probably driven them away the best thing you can do is just be there for her xx

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

Took me so long to reply it had all already been said