Hmm not impressed.....

[Urchin]

For a week or so Mason has been really upset about death

He goes to bed at night then half an hour later will come downstairs in tears asking about death and people dying.
Last night I asked him where he'd got these ideas from and he said a man did an assembly at school and told them that everyone in the world dies at some point. This has led Mason to asking me about his brothers and us etc.

I was a bit at the school, so this morning I asked the teacher and first she didn't know what I was talking about, but then she remembered one day last week a Buddhist monk came in and spoke to all the kids.
That made me feel a bit better about it, but Mason is only 6, and there would have been younger children there too, and he's really dwelling on it.
The teacher said she will find out what the guy said then have a chat to Mason about it. I know what it'll be though.... he would have explained about reincarnation and karma etc.
In Mason's own words: " I did know that everyone dies but I didn't want to be reminded about it"

Bless him...he's so sensitive, but it upsets me that he asks these questions, which really should be left till he's a bit older

 

[mary70]

arrr bless him, you should have been asked to give permission for him to go to anything like that

 

[Urchin]

arrr bless him, you should have been asked to give permission for him to go to anything like that

I would have let him go though... that's the thing, Religious Education is important I think, I guess maybe they could have prepared the parents better though... if I'd have known all this came from a buddhist guy I could have talked to him about it myself after, reassured him a little.

It's hard cos to answer his questions honestly I have to tell him not very nice things, it makes me sad that he knows this stuff already and is dwelling on it in bed every night

 

[Minxy]

Oh no, poor Mason He really has such a beautiful, sensitive soul.

Would he respond to a book of some sort? I love this one

http://www.whsmith.co.uk/CatalogAndSear ... 88160.html
It's too young for him I know, but something similar? Or maybe get it for Brody?

 

[Squiglet]

Mason is at that age where he is starting to understand the permenance of death and what it means...

I think before that kids aren't really able to comprehend death or that everyone dies.

Tia was about 7 when she started realising that people died and she wouldn't see them again in her eyes...it was long and hard, she still has some issues over it with her father as he is in places like Afghanistan and Iraq where she sees people dressed like her dad dying all the time.

Its hard to calm their nerves with these questions.. you can't say that someone will never die, because they will... "eventually".... but its one of those things LO's have to learn about, but its one of those big nasty lessons and its so sad to see part of their innocence taken away.

The way I explain it to Tia is that yes, one day every one will die... we don't know when that will be, so we need to treat everyday with everyone we love like the last day we ever see them so that when the day does come and they do have to move on, we will only have happy joyful memories of them...

I also believe heavily in reincarnation which is very easy for kids to understand and for Tia it helped her cope more knowing that like flowers we plant a seed, they grow, they flower, they grow old and finally die, only to become flowers again in the spring. So they never really died, just went to sleep and came back as a different looking flower, but essentially the same.

Mason does sound like a sensitive soul like Tia and even trying my best to ease Tia's fears with these words she still gets upset... In those moments, I just let her cry and give her loads of hugs and remind her even if we do die... we will still love her with all our hearts.... and if she's naughty I'll still come back to haunt her and take her pocket money from her

 

[Urchin]

Aw man he's still really upset about this, he's crying in bed right now.

I just try and tell him not to let his mind go into those thoughts... if he finds himself thinking like that he should start thinking about his birthday party we are planning next month, or we're going on holiday next week etc.

I don't know what else to say, I wish he could just move on from it.

 

[evemarie8]

Poor Mason, I used to get like that when I was little, giving him something to look forward to is a great idea but it won't stop him going there now he has started to wonder about these things, all you can do is be there to reassure him I hope he can put it to one side for his sake and yours!

 

[jennywren]

Poor kid, is he any better yet?

 

[chezzabell]

Hi, Sophie has been doing the same and she is only 3 the time she started doing this was over Easter, Sophie attends a catholic nursery and they had been talking about death/Jesus etc. Sophie once started crying and I asked her what was up and she asked me if she could be buried in her Newcastle shirt!!!!!!!!

 

[Baileysmummy]

Aww poor little chap..

Cameron is 4 and we are going through at the moment with Bailey just passing away, he wants to know why hes not coming back and where is he and its so hard to explain
I dread the day if he asks if he will die too

 

[~*Leanne*~]

awww hun

I remember, probably being a bit older than Mason, but i too used to get upset about death, im not sure where it came from but i sometimes used to sit and ponder about it and it really upset me, give him time

 

[lauramumof2]

Thats so hard. How is he now? We have had this conversation before with Jess but its generally been about my mums cats. She did know about our baby though. We were reading a 'new baby' a few weeks ago, it was from when I was expecting Joe. I did tell her that there was no baby in mums tummy, just incase she misunderstood. Without even looking up she said, yes mummy, the baby in your tummy went to heaven because it was sick. I just swallowed hard and agreed with her. She is so matter of fact about things, even though she has just turned 4.

Sunshinestars, god only knows how you approach this one, its hard enough for us adults to understand why this could happen.

Urchin, would it do any harm to take him to see a ministerr or someone who might be able to explain it better to him than the monk, on a one to one basis.

 

[Urchin]

Thanks everyone.

I'm going to tell him the story of "waterbugs and dragonflys" I think.
Its a famous book that help to explain death to children, my friend had it read at her baby's funeral
First its the story of all these bugs in the pond, then one of the climbs up the stalk, through the surface of the water and disappears, the waterbugs want to know where they have gone and why they can't come back......then you find out bug is enjoying a new life as a dragonfly, and one day the other bugs will become dragonflies too

SSS perhaps you should buy the book?

 

[kelsey]

My son has also asked about death and dying - and i've spoken to him and my daughter. It was last year and he was 5 and she was 4 - i know people will probably think this is too young but when tyler asked, it gave me the opportunity to tell him that i had a baby the year before him who died during birth. I felt that it was important for them to know they had a brother. Now they'll talk openly about death when they have a question, and they talk about the brother they never knew - only every now and again but they know they can talk if they want to.

Edit to say - Urchin I never knew there were books like that, i think thats brilliant