Help, feeling irrational!

[babyc1]

Hi there

Newby here!

I was wondering if anyone could help me with this.

I am 27 weeks pregnant and starting to feel very irrational, amongst general irritability, my main concern is that my husband is not showing enough interest in my pregnancy. This may sound stupid but he doesnt ask to feel our baby kicking or even talk about the pregnancy. Is this normal for men? am I expecting too much off him? I just always expected him to coo over me when I fell pregnant as we did plan it, am I seeking too much attention??

Feeling very sad and confused at the minute - he has another son and I feel like he is only interested in him at the minute.

is this just my hormones?

Wish i could cheer up, dont want it to affect the baby!

x

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

Aw hun, some men find it hard to show their emotions! My OH doesn't seem as intrested as he was with my daughter, the only thing he likes doing is prodding my stomach to wake the baby up!!
Your OH will be fine, try taking his hand everytime you fill the baby kick so he can feel it!!
Welcome to the forum too x x

 

[babyc1]

Aww thank you, hes not even prodding my stomach which I think I would welcome! any attention for my bump would be good!

Im prob just feeling irrational - I just snapped at my boss for no reason!?

It is my first child and Im soo excited about him, I just want everyone to feel the same, especially his daddy

xx

 

[Tasha89]

My OH isn't too fussed to be honest. He'll very rarely throw his hands on my bump unless I ask him when he/she is wriggling. As long as he makes an effort when bubs is here that's all that matters to me lol! x

 

[Raquelle]

Yeah I wouldn't panic too much (easier said than done, I know!) My O/H hasn't read any of the books my mum has got him on becoming a father and seems to tune out when I talk to him about anything baby related! I know he's gonna be totally different when Bean arrives but it still doesn't stop me wanting to be looked after and pampered (he's the only person I expected this from!) I did get to the bottom of it one night after a hormoanal breakdown however! My man is actually freaked out by the idea of something growing inside me! He's genuinly excited about being a dad but feels pregnancy is a little bit too sci-fi for him!!......... Aren't men weird! LOL x x x

 

[titch]

yeah it is much harder for the guys to get excited I think. maybe if they cant see it, its not really real!

I literaly force my OHs hand on to my bump. I lie on the sofa with my head on his lap after dinner and when I lie down baby kicks and moves loads, then I just pull up my top and instead of watching tv Im watching and feeling my bump. I just litter the evening with comments like "oooh your boys kicking hard, I reckon he'll convert some tries in Rugby etc..." it doesnt always attract much interest but in the end he puts his hands on, when he actually feels him kick I see my OHs face light up then all of a sudden he sticks his face up to the bump so he can feel the kicks on his cheek, and feels the need to tell me whenever he kicks. lol. Hes not intersted in the tv/xbox anymore!

You cant really wait for them to get interested, you litterally have to rub their nose in it, but he'll thank you for it!

 

[Annie050408]

I have the same problem but I think I caused it tbh! I started telling DH to put his hand on my tummy as soon as I could feel kicks which was far too early for him to feel anything. He began to feel disappointed after a week or so of not being able to feel anything but then a few weeks later he put his head on my tummy when we were in bed and bubs kicked him in the head- his face as a picture of joy and being completely freaked out at the same time! He still can't feel anything with his hand but now and again will put his head on and wait for a kick

He doesn't initiate any conversations about the baby and doesn't automatically join in if I make a comment about the baby but if I make it clear I want his input or to have a chat about it then he will.

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

I think its hard for them, both to accept that its as 'real' as it is for us, and also slight fear that if they ask us directly about the pregnancy we will moan at them more

I think blokes sometimes feel like they cant win, we have to engage them rather than expecting them to make themselves a part of it, if you see what i mean x

 

[titch]

^^^ thats true the fear of hearing yet more moaning is probably a factor, hadnt thought of that! lol

 

[evajo]

Hello and welcome to pf - my OH is exactly the same and has been through al 3 pregnancies! All i get is your huge, do you realise how big you are - it goes over my head to be honest - worst thing is being preggers does nothing for our sex life as it puts him off! so even intimacy is out of the question.

I know some women wouldn't except this but i almost prefer it this way and when babe is born he knows i lke to settle on my own and get bubs into a routine. All men are different i just have one that is an extremely proud dad but that also likes me to do the hard bits as he doesn't know where to begin and freely admits it - and i'm quite happy to do all of the cooing and baby work as long as he supports me in the long run when they need taxi's or start being cheeky!