Help and advice needed - Struggling with emotions

[stacy]

Hi all,

I'm looking for some help and advice. I'm 26 weeks pregnant, I lost my step father who I was very close to a couple of months ago to cancer. I was there supporting my mum in the days leading up to his death and found it very traumatic. At the same time I'm having some real problems in my marriage, I know men aren't really supposed to understand pregnancy or what we go through, but my husband is pretty bad, he admits that he forgets we are having a baby, shouts and me when I get upset and is generally really unsupportive. On top of this we are relocating from Wiltshire to Berkshire, a family friend is letting a house out to us for as long as we want, but due to reasons not known to me my husband wants to move again before the baby is due, that's 2 house moves in 14 weeks, with the baby due in that time too.
I don't know what to do, talking to him just ends in a screaming match, I just can't get him to understand that I feel really insecure and just want to settle before the baby arrives. I'm so upset and tearful all the time, I feel sorry for my poor baby, she only knows tears and sadness so far.
Should I leave my husband? Surely this will only get worse when she arrives, I can't bear for her to be born into arguments. He's refusing counselling, I've had some on my own but even the counsellor says one person can't fix the marriage.
Am I just overreacting, is it the hormones? Has anyone else been through this?

xx

 

[Eilishnbean]

Didnt want to read and run hun, dont really know what to say other than I have felt alot of stress during my pregnancy regarding my relationship too. All I can say is dont keep it bottled up try and talk to your husband and explain to him exactly how your feeling. I dont think its fair for him to say you have to move twice explain that its better for your health and the baby if your just in one place and then when your settled you can think about it. (Realistically would it even be possible to move twice in 3months?) Be honest and then see what happens (I found that I had to scream and shout for him to understand his responsibilities and my feelings) . But yeah hormones rushing through your system doesn't help either! Sorry if this hasn't helped hunny but just hold on to the fact your going to have a beautiful baby in 14 weeks x

 

[Sarah13]

Sounds like you are under a lot of stress just now which will def seem even worse with all the hormones. Is there any way you can try and only move once, it does seem like a lot in such a short time? If your husband is insistent and there's no other way, put your feet up and let him get on with it, pull the can't lift and too tired card out, might make him realize this is just too much for you, def don't over do it or stress yourself.

Try talking to your hubby again but calmly, maybe over a nice quiet meal just the two of you, if he wants to work things out he needs to listen to you (and you him) men hate to be nagged and moaned at just makes them worse, if he's not willing to stay calm and talk like an adult when you are, maybe it would be better for you to move out but on your own for a bit so that you feel settled and calm for the baby then maybe when he's willing to talk properly you can try and make things work. A bit of time apart can work well to diffuse things and help you both think things through properly.

You both must love each other somehow as you got married and conceived a baby so you both owe it to her and yourselves to at least try and work things out before making any final decisions after all your both going through a very stressful time and I'm sure things were probably ok before? but your right as well thinking it's no good bringing a baby into an unhappy home. I've been there myself and did try hard with my ex husband before splitting but my daughter would not have thanked us if we'd stayed together and bought her up in constant rows, shes grown into a happy teenager who had a happy childhood.

Hope things work out for you, nobody can really tell you what is best for you and the baby only you will no that but just take your time and try to think all your options through, be strong and def try speaking calmly to hubby again before deciding xx