Friend rant! =o) sorry long!

[nickilubs]

Hello girlys!

Just got back from a weekend at my mum and dads house, 1st time I have seen them since telling them and they were all happy

I also seen my friend....

I called her up and she knew I was pregnant and so she wanted to see me because I haven't seen her since November and she is my best friend. Anyways she asked to meet me at 8.30 in a pub in a city close to where my parents live so we went to meet her. I didn't know the pub they were in so I called her when we got there and it went to her answer phone anyways walking back to the pub I seen her walking to her car so I called her name she was with a girl I hadn't met before and she just shouted "I'll be there in a minuet!" she didn't turn around she didn't say hi or anything!

When she came back she showed us the pub and Anthony went and got me some cola and left me to talk to her, the place was completely packed she still hardly said a word but luckily I knew some of the others that were there and stood chatting to them. Then she spoke to me for about a minuet and the pub emptied out a bit....soon as this happened "we have to get to the next pub!"

Anyway I just gave up then and said I was tired and was going on home so she started to completely blank me! FFS I'm 3months pregnant I don't wanna go on a pub craw! I went there to see her because I hadn't seen her in so long and she didn't even take the time to even speak to me!

I've been friends with her for 6years now but we just seem to be compleatly diffrent she goes out every night getting drunk, she lives with her mum and dad, she doesnt do relationships and she seems to be critisising every thing I do I told her about us having to look for a new home or council house and she just said "ohhh your one of those people I hate!" I work! Its not as if Its my Ideal situation either but at the moment we have no choice. It just all really upset me and now I really have to consider if I want to carry on seeing her.

 

[dannii87]

Aww babe, firstly, have one of these

It's annoying that so called "friends" can treat you like that. It sounds like she's jealous that you have a new life ahead of you that she hasn't got. She's lost her drinking partner but you would have thought she'd have understood why you can't go out drinking any more!

Sorry she's been a bit mean tonight to you - You just focus on OH and baby and I'm sure she'll come crawling back when her new friends have had enough of her bitchyness...

You've got us lot anyway xxx

 

[nickilubs]

Thats the thing I never have been her drinking partner....I have always been her friend. I never really go to the pub we were friends from school and I would see her every week when I would see my parents then I moved out when I split up with my ex last year and then I met Anthony. Since meeting him she has changed she seems to need loads of people around her constantly or always needs a new drama going on. And she used to be a really nice genuine person but now I don't feel like a friend I just feel like another person for her to talk about.

She just seems really well nasty now and I miss when she was sweet and fun and didn't need to wear a low cut top and have peroxide hair to be pretty, I just guess I always thought she was great how she was but now she seems to think she needs to be seeing 100 different people every day to be interesting and I know one day she will probley realize that alot of them dont seem like real friends because the ones who really like her and like the way she was want to see her on her own which is impossible because she wont allow it just to be her and another person it always has to be a crowd. Shes lost so many good friends already the ones she has lost are the ones who really cared but she doesn't see that.

 

[kazlin]

Some people can react very strange sometimes can't they, especially during a pregnancy.
What comes to mind is that she probably feels that she will lose you as a mate now you are going to become a mum, but that is just rubbish! If however she only wants to know you when you are able to go on the piss with her, or for her to be number one in your eyes, is she really a 'friend'? I also feel that she is very jealous of what you have now got.

I may be way off track here, but this is what I think

 

[Sandi4Paul]

I had aig fight with some friends in my early 20s and a work collegue gave e this advice:

As you get older the quantitiy of your friend decreases but the quality increases.

So true, i have less friends now in my 30s, but there ae better closer friends (even thought they are 1/2 a world away).

Sandi

 

[lfc_sarah]

People can change as they get older...

I would just find new friends

 

[Miss.Monroe]

some friend! she definatly sounds like she envies you!

i wouldnt meet up with her again, its not much of a loss to you if she cant even stand to talk to you!

 

[MissSara]

Its true when your older, the friends that you used to see has friends turn out not to be the friend you thought they were.........lol, toungue twister there.

It sounds like she hasn't grown up enough yet to understand the whole idea of family life and having children. Maybe you should just concentrate on your family, im sure if she is going to be like that one day she will realise what a good friend she lost.

Since i have my family the people i saw as friends, i now just see has someone i can see in the street and say hello to and have a little chat, The actually true friends i can count on one hand. But at least i know they are there no matter what.

 

[Suzie and Faith]

I know how you feel. My high school/college best mate (i'm 20 so it wasn't toooo long ago) went off to uni (she's now in her 2nd year) and we've grown apart. When i do speak to her/she is back from uni we can't think of things to say and it just seems that she has changed, and i guess i have too. We lead veyr different lives.

Sounds strange but i don't have that many close friends. One, maybe 2, the people in my life are my family!

 

[nickilubs]

I sound like a real loner but out of everyone she was the only one I kept in contact with from school. I wish it wasn't that situation where I have too but if given the choice I choose my family over anyone, I guess its that I'm starting to realize. I'm so happy I have them

 

[Sydneysmum]

Sandi put it in a nutshell. You get older, you move on and your friends change. Same thing happened to me - I had a 'mate' who I used to have fun with but she criticised everything I did and wore and I thought she was some kind of authority on these things. I started uni as a single mum a few years ago and she thought I was doing something above my station in life. I realised we had nothing in common and that actually I looked alright without her help! I made a couple of really solid friends at uni and when I moved away from Cornwall I made a few good friends amongst the mums at my son's school.

I have only one friend from my childhood who is as dear as life - I only get to see him a few times a year but he's genuine and he's grown with me. That's what makes a good friend - someone who's flexible enough to accept that people change and there's nothing more life changing than having a baby!

Move on - you'll find other friends who will give you the space you need to grow

 

[handbagqueen]

Ah, can totally relate to this one. My so called 'friends' have been totally different with me for the last 8 years or so! Have drifted apart totally but i'm somehow unable to keep my distance completely and they make my life a misery every 6 months or so
Really not worth it and wish i hadn;t put myself through it all these years. Unfortunately the truth is no matter how hard we try, its so rare to stay on the same wavelength with the people you grew up with.
You've now entered a new and exciting phase of your life which shes going to find it hard to relate to and it is sad but remember you are also entering a new 'club' and will meet lots of other women from now on.